My Mum went into hospital today to have fluid drained from around her lung. We all thought this would be the 1st step to getting her back on her feet following a very tough couple of weeks but have now found out that she has blood clots and also that a tumour on her chest is pressing against veins and is causing concern. Mum has a large tumour in her left lung and has been on Tarceva for 4 weeks tomorrow but I guess it is not controlling the cancer as the chest tumour has grown in that time. She also has a large lump on her side and under her arm. My Dad is going in to hospital to see the specialist with her tomorrow morning but has told me that he thinks they will say there is nothing they can do for her. This is an unbearable thought and I'm not coping very well. Mum only went for an x-ray 5 months ago because of pain in her side, she was completely well at that point and we had all just come back from a family holiday in Dubai. She looked amazing and was fit and healthy. How can she go from that to this in such a short space of time? Mum has everything to live for, my Dad who idolises her, my 2 brothers and I and 6 grandchildren who adore her. My 2 girls are the youngest at 3 and 9 months. She loves life and her family and this has devastated us all. I know it breaks her heart that she won't see her grandchildren grow up and it breaks mine that my girls may not remember the most amazing Nana they could have. My brother has said we should not give up hope, but it seems desperate at the moment and I don't know how to cope. My Mum and I have always been close, but have become even closer since I became a Mum myself and I don't know what I'll do without her. We have always spoken every day on the phone and since having Piper and Siena I see her 2 or 3 times a week. She is the best Mum and Nana anyone could wish for, this is so unfair. I'm using this blog to vent as I need to stay strong for my Mum and Dad and my girls. I can only hope that the news we receive tomorrow is not as bad as we're expecting.
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