Diagnosed to death in 24 hours

My dear mum aged 61 passes away on the 13 th November I am truly devestated and still can't believe this could happen . She had been poorly with a cold for 3 weeks prior to her admission to hospital after endless trips to the doctors and the antibiotics not working . It transpired she had an elevated heart rate and blood clot on her lung. It took 2 weeks for icu to identify they she had lung cancer and she died 24 hours after the eventual diagnosis. I have do many questions unanswered . She had been going to the doctors with a cough for a year before but kept being told it was her blood pressure medication. She had put on weight ?? At least 2 stone in the past 3 years .she hadn't any other symptoms prior to being ill. I just feel so angry and let down. She detoriated so quickly in two weeks and we didn't get a chance to fight the cancer or say goodbye as they incubated my mum one week prior to her death. Has anyone else had this experience with a loved one ?

6 Replies

  • I am so so sorry to hear of your experience and the sudden loss of your dear mum. What an awful shock. You must wonder what has happened. It is not an experience I have had. I am battling lung cancer myself and I know how difficult it is for our daughters to deal with my illness.

    I do know many hospices run bereavement services and they may be able to help you find some answers or point you in the right direction to find out the things you want to know. They will also provide you with support and comfort at this dreadful time. I send a big virtual hug. Jenny

  • I have not sorry to hear of your lost that is so bad they take that long to find out I had the same colds before I was told I had cancer I had it for a year and did not know it

  • I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Chris my wife had for a number of years 'chest infections' and was given antibiotics each time with no further follow up. She is another that may have been found earlier if the symptoms had been investigated. She was a smoker although not many a day so I would have thought that would have rung some alarm bells. Unfortunately Lung Cancer is known as a silent killer simply because there are no obvious symptoms and like Chris it is found on a check for something not related. It is 2 years since she was diagnosed with NSCLC with mets and sadly she passed away in August 2013 aged 63 after 8 months of treatment. I, like you, was angry and we would have been married 41yrs 3 days after she died. My consolation is she died with me at home and she did not suffer. I have some great friends who still look out for me and I still miss her a lot. The Hospice who sent the nurses have also been a great help so I would advise talking to them if you can, also Macmillan helped me too. It will be a while before the feeling subside but you will remember her every day in some small way that will make you smile. Take care of yourself that is important now. x

  • Xxx thank you for sharing x

  • This is a journey we never think we will never make but we can help others who find themselves in this place. x

  • Dear Debs74,

    I am so sorry to hear about the tragic circumstances in which you lost your Mum. Lung cancer can be so very difficult to diagnose, and although we are made aware of the most common signs and symptoms, they don't always apply to everyone. It is common to have a cough with some medications, and as she didn't present with any other symptoms, the GP would not have considered lung cancer as a possibility. As Jenco suggests, bereavement counselling may help you through this difficult most time.

    Best wishes,

    Beth, on behalf of information and support.

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