How do I change my name?

[Scaredlady]

Hi guys. Well I've been through the 'fast track' After the scan with contrasts, the bronchoscopy etc etc. Have large tumour in left lung, something in right one and as a Brucie Bonus, something in the middle for diddle. Not curable, maybe controllable with chemo. Said that I didn't want chemo and oncology doctor suggested that I may be suitable for other drugs-non chemo. I wasn't suitable -so chemo or nowt. After weighing up the pros and cons again decided that chemo not for me. Actually the very tasty Italian doctor didn't give me a hard time about it-in fact he said that he didn't blame me. I committed the big error and asked for time frames. Without chemo six to twelve months and with it maybe an extra year. He did actually back peddle after finding out that non chemo tabs not suitable and said that he had known people to survive 7 years with chemo. I wobbled a little-but I'm a quality over quantity kind of gal. Daughter is freaking-but then she does work for a pharmaceutical company. Was trying to continue working-but in light of all this news have decided that I need to make the most of every day and the cough was making life difficult. One lady told me that I had asthma advised her that I wished it was asthma

[veecatz]

Hi there, oh what a horrid place to be in - and I can identify so much with you. Your humour appears to be similar to mine!! My story is on here somewhere under veecatz. I was given the impression that I was on my last legs and took it upon myself to burn everything. arrange my funeral (smoke gets in your eyes as I go through the crem curtains!)

My tumour was non small cell T3 in size ( about the size of a tennis ball). it was inoperable, as it had wrapped itself around major blood vessels and infiltrated the chest wall. It was localized to my left lung with a node in the same lung.

they blasted me with chemo and radio conjuntively, and I am now in remission 15 months later. It does depend on the type of cancer cell it is, mine was the one associated with smoking. In the early days of diagnosis my head was totally mashed, and I lost the plot one day when it finally sunk in what i had. I too gave up work (no choice because of treatment) I found the macmillan helpline invaluable regarding the various sorts of help that is available. Do talk to your macmillan nurse at the hospital or in the community. Your head will be on planet Zuss at the moment! If I can help in anyway - do feel free to contact me.

However - after Wed I will be unavailable for at least a week as I am having major surgery for something that I hope is non cancerous. vee xx

[Scaredlady in reply to veecatz]

Hi Vee, thank you for replying. Seems like more than half my post was missing-don't know whether it was edited or I'm just too wordy. I have decided not to have chemo-which is only treatment option available for me. My reasoning is that it will only buy me a little more time which will be potentially bald sick and ill time. I don't think I fair too well with medication-so chemo would certainly knock me for six and I don't feel the end would justify the means. GP prescribed a small dose of Codeine for my cough. I took one tablet and it was journey into space, then incredible itching all over-headache from hell then projectile vomiting accompanied by total exhaustion. I'm sure chemos effects would be magnified and I don't think I could take it. My intention is to try and keep myself as well as possible with attention to diet and complimentary therapies and take what comes. I will speak to Macmillan nurses-but from what I gathered on first meeting-I think in my case they will respect my views. Mine is the one not associated with smoking-bizarre, but I did stop twenty five years ago. They have told me that it is not curabl-not sure if remission counts as a cure. I don't know all the jargon. I'm pleased you are in a 'good' place now and will say a little prayer that your op is routine and doesn't reveal anything untoward. This is an amazing magic roundabout that we all find ourselves on isn't it? Think I'd rather just be Ermintrude and chew the cud

[Scaredlady in reply to veecatz]

Hi Vee, thank you for replying. Seems like more than half my post was missing-don't know whether it was edited or I'm just too wordy. I have decided not to have chemo-which is only treatment option available for me. My reasoning is that it will only buy me a little more time which will be potentially bald sick and ill time. I don't think I fair too well with medication-so chemo would certainly knock me for six and I don't feel the end would justify the means. GP prescribed a small dose of Codeine for my cough. I took one tablet and it was journey into space, then incredible itching all over-headache from hell then projectile vomiting accompanied by total exhaustion. I'm sure chemos effects would be magnified and I don't think I could take it. My intention is to try and keep myself as well as possible with attention to diet and complimentary therapies and take what comes. I will speak to Macmillan nurses-but from what I gathered on first meeting-I think in my case they will respect my views. Mine is the one not associated with smoking-bizarre, but I did stop twenty five years ago. They have told me that it is not curabl-not sure if remission counts as a cure. I don't know all the jargon. I'm pleased you are in a 'good' place now and will say a little prayer that your op is routine and doesn't reveal anything untoward. This is an amazing magic roundabout that we all find ourselves on isn't it? Think I'd rather just be Ermintrude and chew the cud

[jillygirl]

Hi Scaredlady, Veecatz has said it all. Macmillan are probably the best to talk things through. I was fortunate with my cancer as I had my right lung removed and touch wood (my head) I am clear at the moment. Talking to Macmillan and joining support sites definately helps. Lots of positive vibes being sent. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> xxxx.

[Scaredlady in reply to jillygirl]

Hi

Half my post was missing-think point was missed a bit. Don't know whether it was edited or I'm just too wordy, but I'm fine with decision that I've made. Just wanted to know how to change my name

[Scaredlady in reply to jillygirl]

Hi

Half my post was missing-think point was missed a bit. Don't know whether it was edited or I'm just too wordy, but I'm fine with decision that I've made. Just wanted to know how to change my name

[veecatz]

HI there ermintrude! If no one has said how to change your name - I think you need to go into your profile which should be encompassed in the area at the top of the screen under your present name. I sure do wish you well, and hope that you go from strength to strength in the sense that when you come to terms with your own death - whether it happens now or later( only folk like us have the opportunity to plan with real truthful passion) . . . . I get a strange sort of peace and serenity - of course I want to enjoy my life, but when the inevitable happens I am at peace with myself. The trivialities take a back row and just being in the now is so much less stressful. Whatever happens on your journey, and although you have to do it yourself. I don't feel alone - there is a strong sense of my life going on in another dimension - whatever that may be !! I do hope you keep posting when you can, it is nice that other people are around and that there are sites like this to meet up and talk over a virtual brew!! xx Vee

[Scaredlady in reply to veecatz]

Thanks for that. Think that will be my new name Ermintrude. Ha ha! I agree with you-I'm not frightened of dying and I'm certain that there more ahead exactly as you say.i had to face up to my own death when I was thirty-so I've done the spade work. Thirty would have been a bit young and fortunately it didn't happen, but it taught me to live for today and in the 36 years in between I've done some living and a lot of investigative work into the afterlife-so no fears there. Apart from the fact that my mother will probably give me earache, because after she passed I went and did everything she told me not too

[veecatz]

Oh Ermitrude!! you sound like you sing from the same hymn book - yes I believe in the after life. I go to the Spiritualist Church - but scientists have proven life exists in an experiment of 90 + volunteers all from different religious backgrounds will give you my email address and can give you the link if you want. At last scientific proof!! I am sure your mum will give your ears some battering - and I'm sure we could possibly meet for a coffee over there!!! And I will protect you from your mum whilst she gives you a big hug!

My mum too for that matter!! Back on the earthly existence we have, I have got my xmas tree down from the loft - had to buy another one last year as I got rid thinking or being given the impression I wouldn't be here. Having my op on Wed so won't be able to get up there when I come back! My cat wasn't impressed when I disappeared through a hole in the ceiling!! will speak to you before I go in and keep doing what you are doing! my email is [e-mail] Vee xxx