I need some TLC

Hello,

My wonderful husband died from secondary cancer on April 30th. We have been married for 43 years.

Whilst I was nursing him I didn't have the energy to think about my dreadfully swollen arm but I accidentally caught sight of it today in short sleeves after I'd been trying to do some gardening. It has got bigger and that means huge.

I feel very very upset about it even though I've lived with the wretched condition for nearly 14 years after BC.

I'm under the care of St George's and Proff M has put together a fourth bid for me to have Liposuction. All other treatments have failed because my lymph is very fatty due to Lipoedema.

The bid, this time, is based upon the damage all this extra weight has caused to my spine leaving me physically useless.

I really really need the surgery but I'm frightened how I'd cope afterwards now I'm on my own and I'm frightened as to what will happen to me if I don't have the surgery.

Feeling very sorry for myself.

[Lynora]

Oh Aprille, I’m so sorry. You have every right to feel as you do.

If the funding is successful, do you know where the surgery will be done? I have worked with several liposuction for BCRL patients. They needed help for a couple of weeks post op, but thereafter were able to get back to normal. They are still vigilant about wearing their compression, and pedantic about their diets.

I hope it happens for you.

[Hidden in reply to Lynora]

I am under the care of St George's so they will carry out the surgery. Ms Milroy will be my surgeon. ( Same name as the disease which can cause Lymphoedema. )

My normal is not good and because the swelling is so advanced I am likely to be in hospital for up to 3 weeks with many months of bandaging to reshape the limb.

My arm is very painful and the team are concerned how I'll cope with hose 24/7 should the surgery go ahead but feel it's my only option.

( As they were 5 years ago when my arm was a good deal smaller .)

If the NHS won't pay this time I will probably fund it myself. The last quote was £12k but Proff is keen to get the NHS to pay so he can offer hope to many other patients like me.

Thank you for your support,

[rosequartzdreamer]

Hi Aprille, I can so sympathise with how you feel. My husband died two years ago this week also from secondary cancer. He did most things for me as I have bilateral lymphodema in my legs. I also have issues with my back due to a fall. When he died I was bereft, didn't know how to cope and wondered what to do next. With no one to hold my hand as my kids had fallen apart I managed to sort out aids for myself. Do not feel as though you have to go on alone as I did .... reach out to those who love you wrap yourself in love and if you need to, go out and shout and be angry, (because its not fair that youve been left behind .... if you know what i mean lol). It will get easier and you will learn to cope as I did. Love and sympathy to you

[Hidden]

Thank you. My husband was my best advocate. It's all so terribly daunting but well done for making a life for yourself.

[megs2]

Hi Aprille, I haven't any helpful info re the lymphodeema question, as my own is of a very different style. I lost my husband 18 years ago & I remember that first few years & all of the extremely painful 'firsts', all those first things you have to do alone & how heartbreaking that can be. I hope you have good friends & people to help you. I really replied to wish you well & God bless.... its a hard hard time. I went a day at a time... slowly & in time I got stronger.. I hope you have friends to help you. God bless. Meg

[StellaM]

So sorry for your loss and Just sending big gentle hugs to you Aprille..you have received some good advice here,so always remember,call in and talk to us..you are not alone XX