I'm happy and relieved to find a community that I can share my fears with that can relate. I am a therapist struggling with health anxiety. I work with clients every day on similar issues and struggle with anxiety of my own. I have been struggling with this issue for the past 3 years. It began when I was working for a infectious disease doctor. I began to obsess over getting HIV and even began to manifest physical symptoms of the disease. I suffered for months, afraid to get tested because I felt that I knew that I was positive. I finally mustered the courage to get tested and after one of the most difficult nights of my life, I was negative. I felt relief but it was short lived. I continued to obsess and think the test was wrong. Eventually, over time the fear subsided but it was replaced by a new one. A close friend of mines family friend was diagnosed with ALS about two months ago. Shes my age 29. I began to obsess over her symptoms (muscle weakness on her right side and abnormalities with her voice.) I then began to manifest these symptoms myself. As I am typing to you now I am suffering with internal trembling and muscle twitches which have persisted for over a week. I even at one point have had numbness. Rationally, I know these symptoms manifested shortly after hearing this horrible story from my friend but anxiety is not rational and its starting to consume me. I have made doctors appointments with my primary care doctor and neurologist to rule out anything because I am so extremely fearful. By posting this I am hoping someone can relate.
Thanks
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AnxiousAng
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I am sorry you are suffering but it just goes to show that even though you are a therapist and help so many how if anxiety finds a way in it can affect anyone !
I am not a therapist but I now the answers as I am a long time sufferer and I can help others but then when I have to use that help for myself it goes straight out the window !
I suffer and have since I was young with numerous MH issues one main one Health Anxiety , at one stage I had it some what under control , till I got pneumonia last year and ended up in resuscitation since then my Health Anxiety is totally out of control and some days I feel I am completely loosing it !
Even therapists need support and maybe some counselling , I wonder if this would be something you would consider ? you are human to and we all need support at times
I do relate and you are not alone and hope at least by coming on here will give you somewhere to vent , and getting it of our chests can be a help if just a small one
Hello Anxious, one of the things that helped me was reading the book "It's not all in your head" by Gordon J. G. Asmundson, and Steven Taylor available on Amazon. The other was understanding that the role of anxiety and anxious thoughts is to protect us, although in a misguided way. When we are tired or already somewhat anxious it's easy to get caught up in the thoughts. But the important thing to accept is that they are lies and to have the will to never believe them and/or engage them. By engaging with them, questioning why you have them, why you can't stop, etc.. you perpetuate the anxiety cycle and it just increases. It's also a misguided way of trying to be in control which ultimately is impossible. It takes time and commitment but is doable.
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