Log in
Living with Anxiety
4,834 members2,976 posts

Anxious attachment

How to overcome anxious attachment? While with a partner who has avoidant attachment. How to be secure?

I hate feeling jealous and insecure when im not supposed to be and make my partner more distant from me.

Anyone who had this problem and overcame it?

6 Replies

I know how you feel. I don’t like to get to attached to people. I used to have an insecure issue but now it just happens I am a loner. After realizing it I became much more secure. As to more confident. You need to accept on who you are and keep your positive part with you at all times. It will really help you when negativity come in and tries to interfere with your daily life. Be strong.


Thanks, that sounds hopeful for me.


Hello Jeanjeanjeanx :-)

I am not sure we are never suppose to feel insecure or jealous I think we all do from time to time but it is to what degree and how you deal with it and if you are pushing him away then you need to deal with it which is not easy but you can :-)

You have to start asking yourself , who is he with ? you !

I am sure if he did not want to be and wanted someone else he is big enough and old enough to have gone so that tells you something when you are doubting

Anxiety plays tricks , it steels are self worth leaving us insecure

Someone once said to me when I first met my hubby 26 years ago and I was insecure and worried

You can spend a life time worrying or enjoy your time with him and if and it is an if he did eave you or cheat on you , then you won't have lost anything because he will not have been the man you thought he was

That made sense to me and every time I had those thoughts I would remember what I had been told and something has worked we have been together 26 years and celebrating are 25th wedding Anniversary in a couple of months :-)

If you have not already try and have a chat with him but you do need to change your thinking , not easy but if it be him or anyone else you will always push people away if you don't , enjoy each day and who knows you my still be with him in 26 years to and if not then he was not the right man for you , who knows , relationships do not come with guarantees but we can enjoy what we have while we have it and if it breaks down we would deal with that if and when we had to

Remember anxiety gives you these negative thoughts so work on them and hopefully things will improve :-)

Take Care x


Thanks. "I am sure if he did not want to be and wanted someone else he is big enough and old enough to have gone " - I need to keep that in mind and reassure myself like that instead of trying to find comfort from him, or other people.


Hi :-)

We all need comfort and reassurance sometimes but to what degree , when we need it all the time it can be to much for others to deal with

He is with you and I am sure as I have said he must want to be or he would have gone by now

Try and love yourself not easy but if you can then the insecurity will not be as intense and remember you are worth loving :-) x


Thank you 😊

1 like

You may also like...