But then what if

[Starrlight]

I’ve said focus on the moment for a better time BUT What if your moment after moment after moment keeps staying this horrible torture then all you get to do is focus on the presently horrible visions to go with the vivid imagination, fear comes although they are lies that brought the fears and confusion and there is no escape...evasion ... so I try to go numb..obscure...but avoiding by numbing doesn’t work well and it explodes in that obscure dark spot oin the woods of your mind...at some point as the mind and body cry out “What are you doing to me?” Then you realize that sometimes the way you think is messed up and not normal and you are trying over and over to be the right way but there’s just a gap; something missing.

I keep having to remind myself I am a good mom that my kids are doing well that it’s irrational fears not real life. My biggest fears are running through my mind and it’s hard for me to let go... because what if I miss something and could have fixed it if I had let go that wouldnt be possible???

[Sabio77]

Hi Starrlight. I send you comfort and a big hug! I am sorry that you are going thru such a difficult time. It sounds like you are a good mom and want to do what is right. Have you tried to talk to a professional regarding these things that are happening to you? I know what helps me is that I recognize sometimes that my worries, fears and doubts are not true; and try to help change my mindset at that very second to something more positive. Believe in yourself my friend. You CAN overcomer this. It is a process and you can become an overcomer little at a time. Stay focused on positive thoughts and feelings. Hugs

[Syllabus18 in reply to Sabio77]

Well done

[Starrlight in reply to Sabio77]

Great tip I will defidently be focusing on changing the bad thoughts when I can. You know that is extremely helpful thank you soooo Sabio!

[Hidden]

(((((Hugs))))) 💕 I’m sorry Star ... I really hope you feel better soon and both of us get out of this damn funk x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Yes wishing that for us. I’m so determined to have a good day and nothing but a good day not thinking too far off you know, one minute at a time when that is needed.

How are you so far today?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Yes absolutely.. overthinking too far ahead is honestly driving me mad 😢

Hope you have a lovely day x

I’m not doing too good.. depression has hit a low at the moment x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

If you think pming me could be helpful or if there is anything I can do? Let me know. The same thing drives me mad too but I’ve been doing so much better with that than I had been . I think part it was practicing telling my mind that the event will be better and easier than I imagine and I can put the thinking off until it comes to be... but that’s hard... what I think helped me the most was getting on Paxil. It makes some things and ways of thinking change. I still have a lot of work to do though.

What are you up to today? Wishing you some very beautiful moments.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks for being there Star x

I think only I can fix this by myself...

I’m glad you’re doing a little better.

I went for a short walk and had soup soup and ginger tea . Now I’ve got the fire on and I’m watching movies under a big fluffy blanket !

It’s a ‘me day’

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Very nice Hope ❤️