I think I wrote in here before - Living with Anxiety

Living with Anxiety

5,796 members3,321 posts

I think I wrote in here before

gbrickhouse profile image
5 Replies

Anyway, I suffer from severe Anxiety, I take 5 Xanax 2mg a day for my condition. I don't know what causes it, maybe stress from life, or the day itself, but the Xanex puts me in the right frame of mind to deal with issues that I would lose my mind over before. Im also Bi-Polar, and do the wrong things every time. I take a world of meds for this, but if you criticize me or come at me, I coming back at you three times as hard till I win an argument, a fight or whatever it is. Then I have a terrible feeling of remorse, see I don't see the consequences when I act out. I just have to win. Im a Christian as well, and I don't feel God or anything spiritual during this time. It's like a demon jumps into my body and causes all this problem, then leaves as he came.

Written by
gbrickhouse profile image
gbrickhouse
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
5 Replies

Hello gbrickhouse :-)

I have just looked at your posts and I think this looks like the first time you have actually posted in Living with Anxiety , so Welcome :-)

It can get confusing when we are members of several Communities trying to remember what we have posted where :-)

When you describe getting quite angry and then feeling bad afterwards I think this is something we can all do , for me when my anxiety is bad I can get really snappy and then feel dreadful afterwards

When we have these moments we may have hurt someone , saying sorry can make a huge difference and then forgiving ourselves and remembering none of us are perfect , so we will mess up now and again :-)

Take Care x

Hi!

Welcome to our community! And thank you so much for sharing.

I know it can be so difficult to keep on a neutral tone without getting extremely aggressive when something upsets us or when someone criticises us. But it's understandable, it's human nature to defend ourselves. It's important to be able to look at a situation afterwards though and try and work on ourselves for next time. So that we don't repeat the same things especially if we know that they are wrong. Are you aware of your actions and the implications on them once the situation has passed? I think that's probably the most important.

Hope you are feeling well X

gbrickhouse profile image
gbrickhouse in reply to

Im aware of them afterward, unfortunately, its too late, the damage has been done. I've lost a lot of friends and Im sort of the "Black Sheep" in the family, nobody ever calls for me or even asks how Im doing. That sort of hurts! Even my only brother hasn't called me in over a year, so what can you do, and I have never had a manic attack with him. During these times, I don't think of the consequences of my actions, I know I have to win the argument, the fight, the whatever it is, I have to prove my point at all costs. It's really sad in a way because if I would be recognition of what Im doing, I wouldnt do it.

pam4him profile image
pam4him

I'm sorry for what's happening to you. It sounds like your meds may not be working properly. Consider asking for adjustments in your medications. If you're not already in counseling, that too may offer some insight/relief. As for the spiritual issue, are you a member of a church? Consider asking for prayer for the manic episodes that appear to have you dissociating a bit when they occur. I went through that and the combination of prayer and counseling helped me. Prayers that it will help you as well, and for you to find peace.

gbrickhouse profile image
gbrickhouse in reply to pam4him

I am a strong Christian, but do you know, that God or my religious beliefs dont enter into my mind at all during this time. It's like a demon hits me in the chest and takes over my body, and does all these bad things, and as it comes, it leaves. just like that. Except I now am left with all the consequences of my actions.

You may also like...

I think it will work out

right. 😉 And the other times well I had become angry over a few things not coming to be until I...

Husband thinks the only feeling I have is anxiety

have talked to him countless times, and I just can't seem to get him to not see this ANXIETY stamp...

Here I go again

Sometimes I'm scared to dip my toe in. In good times, I'm floating or riding the waves to wear life...

New here, utterly terrified, can’t function, please help!

asleep, is the only time I have any relief from this torment. I am going to see a counsellor next...

Crippling anxiety before new job

me to lose confidence and I’ve had a really tough time lately. I’m putting extra pressure on myself...