tired of being alone

[Endlessnightmare]

I am so sad and tired of being alone. I don't understand why my friends and family can't be there for me. I don't understand how when I am so willing to anything to help my friends and family, I am the first one they call and come to as they now I will always do anything to help. I have never really needed help from anyone... but now that I do there is no one around. my phone has stopped ringing, and no one responds to me any more.

[Hidden]

Hello & Welcome Endlessnightmare

I have just had a look at some of your posts before I replied and you have been and sounds like you still are going through a very difficult time and so sorry to read what you are dealing with which there is no wonder you feel anxious and low

I have always found that when we have anxiety or other problems similar it makes us very good listeners because we know how it feels to be suffering , I think others pick this up and that is why they tend to come to us when they need help but this is also why when we need that same help these very same people are no where to be seen because they are not like us and yes it hurts and yes you do feel alone but in the end it does make you a stronger person even though I think that maybe the last thing you want to hear at this moment but true

The other thing why people are maybe not there for you is they just don't know how to help , they don't know like we do in these Communities that listening is all we want , we just want to know we matter , know someone cares and know that someone will listen as we totally get that people don't always have the answers and I hope you will find that in these Communities and it will go someway in helping you through this difficult time

Life certainly has not been kind to you at the moment but you sound like deep down you have a lot of strength and even though you may feel weak at the moment that inner strength will rise to the surface again

You have your life to build back up which I know feels at the moment it has been turned upside down , but it will come good again , it will also take time and one think we struggle with is been patient with ourselves

Maybe you could start making a list of what are the most important things you need at this moment in life other than friends and family not understanding and letting you down but would it be you had a place of your own maybe ?

I would make a list of the things I needed to do to move forward and rather than put my energies into people that don't deserve them I would put them into making these changes happen but I would take one at a time and work on it till I got the result I needed

Take Care x

[Endlessnightmare in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, every thing you said is very comforting. my life has been to good, everything has always been so easy and fun, I thought it was because I was smart and made good choices. I did what I knew or felt like was the right thing. I have always worked and provided for my family, spoiled my children and am generous with all my friends. I have always believed you reap what you sow, so I try to put as much good out into the world as I possibly can. I have always believed that God created us to be servants to one another, take care of each other. I have no problems making sacrifices for the ones I love and have never really been able to put myself first. Up until now that system has worked out for me as when ever something would go wrong something else would go right and things would always balance themselves out. I am so lost! I just need something to go right, well I need a few things to go right and a break from new problems. lately it feels like its one thing after another going wrong! It is like my house is on fire and as soon as I get one put out, there is another one, and another one... I can not keep up and I am watching everything I love burn to ashes

[Hidden in reply to Endlessnightmare]

Hello

I know what you mean and sometimes life just deals us things that we don't deserve and it can feel like no matter what we do nothing works but it will come good again , just take each day as it comes , stay within that day and I know you will always do the best you can and eventually things will come good again

Sometimes as hard as it is we have to watch everything go but one thing you have to remember is you can build it up again and you will x

[Endlessnightmare]

Thank you, I know this will not last forever. things have to get better. I just do not see how I am ever going to be happy again. I have lost my ability to enjoy life. It is so bad that when I do laugh and or smile my children stop what they are doing and make comments like " mommy you happy again" or " mommy your actually laughing" it breaks my heart to see the effects my illness, depression and anxiety has had on my children that just me smiling has become so rare they stop and take notice.

[Hidden in reply to Endlessnightmare]

Hello

For now , remember that for now which is not forever it just feels like it is but it won't be

I am not sure if I believe in God or not and of course these Communities are not for debating if there is one but I always remember someone I knew that did saying to me , he will never give you more than you can cope with and every time life has felt so unbearable that I have felt I can't cope any longer well I have , I have looked back and thought , how did I get through that but I did and so will you

At some of my worse times in life I had young children and they saw things that I wished they never had but one thing I learnt was that kids are more resilient that we adults and they bounce back a lot quicker to , and as long as you can still give them cuddles and tell them how much you love them that will keep them happy trust me

Mine have all grown up to be level headed responsible adults and seriously the things that happened I would have never thought they would but when we talk now they always say they knew they were loved and they accepted me the way I was , the good and the bad times , yours will to , you are their Mum the only one they want and love and one ability children have where some adults dont is to love you unconditionally x

[Hidden]

Morning Endlessnightmare,

You are not alone. Believe me. If things get interesting Endlessnightmare I will give you my phone number to talk. I’ve been there before. I’ve felt that way. Plus I bugged my wife to death. Still do. 😂😂😂😂 There are people who will be there for you. People don’t understand this “ hot mess” we all go through.

This is some rugged 💩 we go through. For me I opened up and let my family and friends know what I have and going through. I am truly blessed to have a Beautiful wife to help me get through stuff ( poor woman 😂😂😂) Have you let your family and friends know what your going through? Maybe that can help. One thing about this “hot mess” is that it humbles you, but it makes you stronger. Always remember you have support, your not alone and your stronger than you think.

Make sure you treat yourself well. Find a hobby. Try to smile and laugh more. Excercise and most of all try to enjoy your life and try to have as much fun as you can.

[Endlessnightmare in reply to Hidden]

your wife doesn't mind you giving your phone number to strangers? I know that sounds ridiculous as you are only trying to help and you understand anxiety and depression and I know it helps my anxiety and depression to talk with others that understand and our going through the same thing. Not that I don't appreciate your willingness to offer your assistance, I am just not used to calling people I do not know personally on the phone, the internet is fine for some reason, LOL I guess because it seams anonymous in a way. This is probably part of my problem, that I think like this, LOL hopefully in time I will be able to change my old unhelpful ways of thinking and be more open to new ways that would actually be helpful. Thank you so much I really appreciate your help