HI, I have just recently joined this forum(?) and I'm searching for answers. Approximately 6/7 months ago was where I think my anxiety problems really hit me and made me realised all this time it was not normal to be like this and decided to take various Goldberg's anxiety test and various others; having an anxiety attack (a feeling of suffocation, crying without any reason, pounding heart, indigestion, dizziness, etc) is pretty obvious and I (thank god) realised the symptoms right away. First, it was just nervous butterflies in my stomach for a short periods of time and I'd get dizzy and it would just go away. Next it was wanting to burst out crying and the feeling of suffocation - people say breathing helps but it makes it worse for me- I can breathe, but I can't breathe. Then the OCD I have were just starting to make sense to me. Additionally, whenever I had any questions or problems about myself (whether it'd be mental or physical health) it would always lead back to anxiety disorder related issues. All these times I was wondering why i think the way I do, and why I feel the way I do and it was just from anxiety disorder all along. Who would have known? I would get scary thoughts: shadow next to me, a creature staring at me, a girl sitting next to me crying, someone behind me, a black hand choking me, etc) i have no idea where they come from but I have always heard I had a good imagination as a child but never the ones so vivid. My thoughts are becoming scarier these days. Maybe because of Anabelle 2 i watched with my friends not too long ago but none of my imagination were actually from the movie nor are they of any relations. Please help me. Sometimes I think I've gone mad. I used to not be able to sleep with lights off as a kid I never knew why but now I can't sleep because of the lights but whenever they are off, I get those crazy thoughts coming back- before it used to be pleasant but now its horrifying. I'm scared to sleep because when I lie on bed to sleep, i can't - because the thoughts flood in like wild beasts. I can;t stop it. Once time, I swear I head a man's voice just whispering loudly- it was coming inside my head not like a hallucination from the outside. I'm terrified. I think they get worse when I watch or read scary stories. I'm not sure. Maybe it was the scary comic books that I got traumatised as a kid because my neighbour had them (she was 3 years older than me) and got me addicted to them- like the thrill, the adrenaline of the scary comics were what got me hooked but it would also get me scared and jump. It was traumatic for a 7 years old kid to read what was meant for 12+ years old children. Then there comes problems about my parents and how they caused a whole different side of my anxiety. I'm ranting at this point but I'm feeling so overwhelmed I just need someone to talk to. Please help. I don't havea therapist nor can I see one because I cant never talk to my parents about my problems like this. My friends don's don't take it seriously/ don't know how to respond to me, etc.
Sorry for the long chunk of text. Please talk to me.