Can't sleep, feeling down

[Extremeanxiety]

2:31 and I'm still not asleep because my mind is still active and thinking and I feel down... all I'm thinking about is how I hate my looks and body and how I feel disgusting because I have no makeup on rn, I always think off these things but happens less in the day, but currently can't stop thinking about these things and how crap my life is rn😢 the only thing giving me slight comfort is hearing the rain outside, helps me relax and gives me something else to focus on...but anyone else struggle with over thinking things at night..

[Hidden]

The over thinking is the worst thing, wish I could just flick a switch and turn it off.

You shouldn't hate your looks and body, from your profile photo I think you look gorgeous, maybe the tiredness makes you think that you are not but you are.

Do you do much during the day to burn up your energy?

[Extremeanxiety in reply to Hidden]

Me too! Wish i could just turn it off and thank you but it's hard because no matter what anyone says it doesn't change the way I see myself sadly

And not at the moment no, because I find my anxiety so tiring it just makes me want to stay in bed😴😒

[Hidden]

Hello & Welcome

I am not sure how old you are but you look quite young in your pic and to be that young and beautiful again and know what I know now I would do things and think very differently

I remember though always feeling I was not pretty and it did not matter how many people would say I was I never believed it because even so young I had very low self esteem due to me been an anxious person and it is about confidence from within and the more confidence we have no matter how pretty you are we then give out a positive aura that makes us pretty because I know it is a cliche but been attractive is not just what is on the surface but it is about what is within to

There is so much pressure though on young people now a days , something I wish was different and so many images that have been photo cropped which we tend to forget of women looking perfect which is not reality and I wish would change

Do you work ? just wondering as age is hard to guess and trying to suggest is there anyone you could talk to , colleague , parents , friend ?

You could always speak with your Doctor , they would totally understand and could suggest support to help you through what you are finding a difficult time

Know you are not the only person to have ever felt this way but the more you can learn to love yourself as who you are which is beautiful then this will fade

I like listening to the rain to , as long as I am not out in it , I agree it can be soothing and I hope you managed to get a good nights sleep x

[Extremeanxiety in reply to Hidden]

Hii Lulu, I'm 18, thanks so much for your advice it's just I wish I could believe people when they say these compliments to me, but it's so much harder then that, it's so hard for me to hear these things when there's so much doubt in my head that I'm not at all pretty, I think I've just convinced myself so much that I'm not pretty etc that it's just drilled into my head..

I do have a lot of people I can talk to, my family, boyfriend, doctor but I've been on tablets for anxiety since I was 14 and had 2 years of counseling sessions from camhs and they helped at the time deal with my OCD but never helped with my anxiety sadly, so honestly I'm just trying to figure out a way to deal with it myself..

I don't keep things bottled up, I do talk to people but now I'm 18 and already done counseling etc and am on tablets I feel like I just need to help myself now because I think I've gotten as much professional help that I can but now it's up to me, with the help of family.

I know all my problems stemmed from a traumatic time in my child hood from ages 7-10, which I recently had a court case for, Just last year, which did help counsellors and family understand why I had so many issues.

I was working but at the moment I'm not because I feel like I can't go out much because I feel like I constantly need to impress everyone for my own benefit, because I feel like everyone needs to think I'm skinny/pretty in order for me to feel self assured, or I feel like I'm just nothing because if one person finds me ugly then why wouldn't another person, like u can't possible think someone's ugly and then another person think your pretty right? So it's really tiring for me and I feel like I'm always comparing myself to every other person, and it gets to the point where I think "what am I doing, what's the point in being out, if this is all I think about", so I don't do much right now, but I'm trying to, but yeah.

Honestly I am just fed up of my problems but I just need to learn to love myself and accept myself fully, because I know I won't be able to be happy until I do, but honestly I just don't know how to go about it, I don't know the best way to help myself love myself..

[Hidden in reply to Extremeanxiety]

Hello

I am so very sorry you went through a traumatic time at such a young age , even though I don't know what you went through it has obviously brought you to where you are today

I am really pleased that you have such a good support network around you and well deserved to !

I know you feel at the moment you have done it all , meds , therapy etc but there are no rules that you cannot be referred back to therapy as many times as you need it so if you do feel it would help again don't hesitate to ask your Doctor

Sometimes time is what is needed especially when we have been through something that has affected us so much and I know again it is a saying but very true in " Time is a great healer " you are young so you have time on your side

Have you thought of maybe doing some Voluntary work for now

This can give you a really big confidence boost , help you to stay motivated , because it is voluntary you can choose when and if you go in and they usually are screaming out for volunteers , whether it be for the homeless or charity shops people are always needed could be something to keep you in the loop for now till you feel able to take a job on full time which you will eventually

We are always here to listen if you need to talk , we don't always have all the answers but we do have compassion and you can be you on here to , and we do not care what you look like even though you are beautiful on here everyone is beautiful because we can tell with the caring sensitive nature we all have which is the most beautiful thing about any person that there could possibly be

Keep talking on here if you need us x