Hitting rock bottom. Someone help me?!

[Rachms11]

So my anxiety has gotten that bad that I can't seem to stop analysing everything single thing I do at the moment in my life. Affecting me and my fiancé so bad and my family it's that's bad that I'm nearly ready to just give up everything and go live in a hole somewhere alone. Please help someone. My counsellor has made everything worse and basically telling me to leave home and my family forever

[Hidden]

Hello

Oh dear me I am sorry things seem to have got worse but try & think as there is a saying that we say round here that sometimes things have to get worse before they get better

Now I don't think you would like living in a hole I think that will be even worse than where you are now so I would forget that idea

I think your counselor was a bit over the top if they said leave your family forever !

That is quite a silly suggestion if they did or do you think that maybe because you are feeling so anxious over the situation as I know I do sometimes when someone says something to me I can take it out of context & hear it in a different way to what they actually meant

In the UK if we find the relationship we have with our Counselors is not working we can speak to our Doctor & tell them & they will most of the time look into referring you to another one , is this a possibility for you ?

Have you spoken & been honest with your parents & your boyfriend about how you feel & explained you need their support more now than ever ?

If not I really think you should do , you said what a wonderful relationship you had with your Mum I am sure she would try & help in anyway she could

Try & take this situation a day at a time , don't look at it forever as if we are struggling for ever seems out of our reach to achieve & cause panic but if you say I can live here & will just for today & I will deal with tomorrow when it comes then it can make the pressure & anxiety we are feeling less

Hope you have a better day today

Take Care x

[Rachms11 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks tigger. I just want to feel good again and want to go home. Where I was happy. I'm not sure it's a good thing to stay in my relationship with the way I am at the moment. Do you think it would be unhealthy to do so? I constantly feel guilty n hate trying to pretend I'm ok

[Hidden in reply to Rachms11]

Hello

Would your parents be happy to let you go home & how would this affect your relationship with your boyfriend ?

I think it would be a really good idea for you all to maybe get together & talk this through as a family there could be a compromise

As for unhealthy & this is only my opinion no I don't think it would be , I think certain things in life can take longer for some to feel ready than others ....as long as if you went home you were working towards in your mind that eventually you will move away ( but in your own time ) I cannot see anything wrong but you need to be happy above all x

[Rachms11]

Yea I think so. The hardest part is the long days when I'm alone n thinking n feeling weak. my parents aren't always home so that makes it much harder. I think if I came back home full time I wouldn't be able to leave again as I know it would be so hard to go through all this again biggest fear is I'll come home n be happy but I'll never be able to leave my comfort zone again

[Hidden in reply to Rachms11]

Hello

I can understand that the days will feel long when you have nothing to do & then we can over think every thing & again become more anxious

But you do say your parents are not at home all day either , so I was wondering how you fill the gap in there

Maybe you could take up a hobby , if it be making Greetings cards or anything you enjoy doing , you could even sell them on line just to help fill the days in as well as helping your self worth

If you are not ready to leave home then at your age at the moment that is quite acceptable to me but we do have to stay in reality & even though some may do chances are there does come a time when we do leave home & something none of us like to think & having lost both my parents it again is reality that they will not be there forever for us so while we are blessed to have them around it can be a good thing if we can learn how to move forward in life knowing they are there to fall back on when we need them , most of us at one stage or another in life have to become independent but when the time is right for us as there is no age restriction when this should happen

How does your or how would your BF feel if you moved out , would he be ok with it & would your relationship survive having just got engaged this would be something you would have to consider also

There is no right or wrong in how you feel & only you knows what will be best for you , if you listen to what I say your gut instinct is telling you rather than your heart then usually if I listen to that it seems to be right even though sometimes I don't always want to listen as what I can be feeling is not what my heart or head tells me I want

Make a list maybe of the positives of been engaged & the positives of moving back home as well as the negatives for either one of them , see which comes out on top & maybe that will help you to make a decision , again talk to your loved ones as which ever way you go it will affect them also as well as they could hopefully give you support

Maybe another way is instead of thinking about this situation daily to put it to one side & tell yourself that you are having a few days of & will think about it again when you feel more relaxed as we do tend to over think making things feel so much worse sometimes than they actually are

Hope you make the right decision in time for you x

[Rachms11]

Hi again, I've been thinking lots the past day n I'm gonna be brave n not move back home. I'm gonna live here til our lease runs out in 5 months. Need to try it hey. Or I'll never known if I can manage in life being independant. I also thought of other ppl I know n realised there is nothing wrong with wanting to be close by to my parents n brother. Thousands of other ppl do. So I'm feeling more happy with my decision. Now I have a track to go down x

[Hidden in reply to Rachms11]

This seems like a very sensible idea

I think it is really good to say you will give this your best till the lease runs out you now have a goal to work on , we can all do something for 5 months which is not forever & at the end of that time you maybe surprised how you feel & if not then you could never say you did not give this a real good go , but I think you will do just fine x

[Rachms11]

Yep that's right. Might be a bit hard at times but I need to try hey x thanks for listening n helping. Means a lot x