This whole thing started off round about 2 months ago. I started reading up on spiritual things as it is something that has always interested me but then I suddenly started to become scared and I'm really unsure why but it got to the point where I couldn't be on my own, I had to be with my mum 24/7 and I'd have panic attacks about the thought of it. I wasn't even comfortable at home I felt scared. That started to lift a little bit and I was on my way to becoming okay sort of but still had a very anxious feeling inside me so I started speaking to someone from 42nd street which I feel made me worse by bringing it all back up again and she asked me about certain fears/phobias and asking me if I felt suicidal or ever harmed myself which really really got to me and now I am worse than I have ever ever been before. I'm currently going through all the stress of my gcse's and I feel like my life is just completely ruined and I feel like I'm absolutely crazy. I don't feel like I know myself anymore, I feel like I have changed so much and won't ever return to being the way I used to. I've lost touch with reality so much and feel so disconnected from myself and how I used to be. I don't even know how to describe it but I am uncomfortable 24/7 and when I try and force myself to feel normal again it just feels weird I have never been so worried ever it's taken over my life, I only ever think about how I feel which is always anxious and always feeling like I'm insane :@ feeling foreign to myself and my family is so scary and I'm scared that I've got some underlying mental illness or something because my thoughts are so confusing like I am scared but can't pinpoint why sometimes, I feel lost and confused and arghhhhhhh I started off going to my mum for comfort in the beginning but I am breaking her heart and it hurts me so much but I don't know what to do I am feeling so over whelmed by it all
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