Can someone help :(

This whole thing started off round about 2 months ago. I started reading up on spiritual things as it is something that has always interested me but then I suddenly started to become scared and I'm really unsure why but it got to the point where I couldn't be on my own, I had to be with my mum 24/7 and I'd have panic attacks about the thought of it. I wasn't even comfortable at home I felt scared. That started to lift a little bit and I was on my way to becoming okay sort of but still had a very anxious feeling inside me so I started speaking to someone from 42nd street which I feel made me worse by bringing it all back up again and she asked me about certain fears/phobias and asking me if I felt suicidal or ever harmed myself which really really got to me and now I am worse than I have ever ever been before. I'm currently going through all the stress of my gcse's and I feel like my life is just completely ruined and I feel like I'm absolutely crazy. I don't feel like I know myself anymore, I feel like I have changed so much and won't ever return to being the way I used to. I've lost touch with reality so much and feel so disconnected from myself and how I used to be. I don't even know how to describe it but I am uncomfortable 24/7 and when I try and force myself to feel normal again it just feels weird :( I have never been so worried ever it's taken over my life, I only ever think about how I feel which is always anxious and always feeling like I'm insane :@ feeling foreign to myself and my family is so scary and I'm scared that I've got some underlying mental illness or something because my thoughts are so confusing like I am scared but can't pinpoint why sometimes, I feel lost and confused and arghhhhhhh I started off going to my mum for comfort in the beginning but I am breaking her heart and it hurts me so much but I don't know what to do I am feeling so over whelmed by it all

7 Replies

  • Hey there

    You are not alone in the way you feel. My daughter, has just done her second lot of mock GCSEs . The first lot she was very anxious, panic attacks didn't know what to do with herself. I sat her down and told her life is not a race. Do one thing at a time, think for the moment that you are in not the past or the future because you can't do anything about that. Face your anxious thoughts, let them pass, don't hide.

    My daughter is so happy now and has just got her grades and is so pleased.


    It's based on mindfulness. Try to do this twice a day everyday. I guarantee you will start to feel better. Read up on Mindfulness, the more you read the more you will understand anxiety.

    I was in such a bad place 1yr ago, I had CBT and followed that with mindfulness, I've not looked back :)

    I hope this helps and please don't let this horrible anxiety win.

    The more read up the more you will understand. Knowledge is power :)

    Good luck :)

  • Hi, it's worrying because it's not even that I care about my GCSE's anymore. Every single second of the day I am worrying that I'm losing my mind it's got that bad I've been living inside my own head and I know this isn't me how I'm acting I don't recognise who I've turned into and it's terrifying I feel like I don't know myself but I do and makes me feel sick all the time, I want to feel me again I'm uncomfortable living like this. I love my family but I feel so distant from them and I feel as though I'm tearing them apart completely I don't know what I've done to myself I can't cope with it and none of my family can but I constantly want to be around someone but I feel weird around them because I feel weird with myself I just know I'm not right how I used to be :( I literally can't come off my phone or computer constantly reading about it because if not I just sit and question myself and if I'm normal and worry about my mental health :(:( I just want my mum but it doesn't feel the same anymore it's so so hard

  • Have you seen your doctor?

    If not I would do so as soon as you can.

    Ask to be refered for cbt, this will help you understand the way you are feeling.

    I do understand what you are feeling, I've been there and yes it's very scary.

    Please understand that you are normal. Have a look at the app I've suggested. It will quiten your mind from the what ifs :)

  • It's really painful though, I feel pain because I feel like a different person to what I used to be and feel weird around my family because of it. I love them more than anything they really are all who have ever mattered to me and I don't even understand how I'm feeling and I can see it's tearing my mum to pieces which I can't deal with because I feel so weird in myself aswell :( I want her more than anything but it's painful being around her because I feel like something has changed within me because of this anxiety that has taken over my life and my mind if it even is that! :( I feel like I don't belong to my life but I know I do!! It's breaking me in half I've never felt so low in my life before this

  • Go to your doctor with your mum.

    It will hard, but you need to face this and you need to include your family.

    Don't shut your mum out.. Together you will get through this and understand anxiety.

    Please, talk to your mum or write her letter telling her how you're feeling and you need help to find your self again. I promise you, you will find yourself again.

    Keep a journal and write down everything you are feeling.

    Again, you are normal :)

  • From reading your post , what was it about spirituality that pushed you over the

    Edge. That's a most unusuAl reaction and if you are Feeling afraid all the time, that

    Is not normal. You could be having a nervous breakdown Don't waste time as its serious, I think you should see your Dr as soo. As possible, otherwise where will

    It all end


  • Hello. Yummi has given you some great advise and I hope you at least consider it. We all know how you feel. When I first started dealing with this last year I questioned every thought I had. I was afraid I was loosing myself, and maybe I did a little, but I have changed in so many positive ways too. It's scary, I know, but don't let your anxiety win, help yourself and let others help you.

    And your mom will be there no matter what. I remeber my mom comforting me and I felt so stupid for breaking her heart by watching me "loose it", but she helped me no matter how dark things felt... together with her help and others I was able to get past a very confusing and scary time in my life. So don't push her away if she wants to be there for you, if she's willing to help carry this awful burden then let it be. It will bring you together and help you heal.

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