Anxiety is taking over lately!

[Horsemad1]

I feel that lately my anxiety has taken control over everything, I can't help but feel very nervous, panicky and constantly feeling like something really bads going to happen! i barely see my friends and I don't go to work or college etc (part of me thinks if I look for a job etc it'll make it worse, it's even getting to the point where I am loosing interest in my horses because I also have low mood. I'm having a constant dread, stomach churning feeling. I was put on citalopram 10mg for a bit but I have came off them as it didn't help and my GP couldn't up the dose (I'm underweight)

To make things worse I start talking therapy tomorrow and I'm getting myself worked up and stressed really bad. I get so anxious talking to people and I can't cope, I just have to run and hide in the toliet (I've found it's the only quiet place with no people in,sounds strange but it helps!)

Can't stand this any longer I'd love to be like all my friends and be at college/uni and doing things with there life.

xx

[boawoman]

I have been off the site a bit and just saw your post. Did you go to talk to someone? I hope so....I know how hard it is. The first time I went I cried more than I talked....I was just so scared and mortified ... don't know why I was like that, but I was. It did help to talk ... to find out that it is ok to feel the way you do. I have a love of all animals but horses hold a special place in my heart. They are such social animals, they love you and show affection. Their size and movements - well I can feel them, smell them and just know them somehow and I don't have the opportunity to even be around them anymore. But for a long time I did and they brought me a sense of peace. Please try to talk to someone and let yourself get out in nature. Walk with the horses, talk to them, touch them. Feel their warmth. I envy you that ... I really do. I hope this finds you a little better, maybe a little more grounded and feeling safer.

[Scottiebabe29]

How did you get on at the counsellor? I went to a counsellor and found her really helpful.

[Horsemad1]

Yes I did go in the end, I got myself really stressed over it and when I was there I found it really hard to talk to him! He did help abit and he wants me to write a thoughts diary so he can start to understand how think etc. that kinda of gets my stomach churning on its own, I have tons of things fly though my head like he is going to think I'm a freak or then he is going to think I over react at everything!.

My horses help me loads, I suddenly feel calm and relaxed around them, it's true in what people say about them being therapeutic. I went and brushed them after I saw the CBT therapist and felt better.

I go again Wednesday too see the therapist again. X