I think it's time for a rant.
I've been meaning to do a proper teardown of the NHS 12-week plan for some time, and never got around to it. So here goes. I'm going to try to keep this reasonably factual, even though the plan itself invites ridicule rather than a rational critique.
The most obvious problem is the simplistic premise on which it's based:
"The plan is designed to help you lose weight at a safe rate of 0.5kg to 1kg (1lb to 2lb) each week by sticking to a daily calorie allowance."
Now, we all know from bitter experience that it doesn't work like that. A linear, glitch-free weight loss down to a target weight? Seriously? Has this ever happened for any human being in the history of the world? It certainly hasn't happened for me or anyone I know. Maybe the NHS have a secret cohort of engineered humans in a cage somewhere, who respond as required to caloric restriction. But the rest of us stubbornly run on the laws of physics and biochemistry, steadfastly refusing to lose bodyfat in the way popular theory dictates.
Anyway, I'm not going to gripe about this too much. I'm more interested in the food items prescribed. Any "diet" should transition seamlessly into a healthy-eating routine, because if it doesn't, your initial weight loss is neither here nor there: it'll come right back again.
To be fair, there is some reasonable advice in the plan. "Don't stock junk food" and "Get more active" are hard to argue with. Unfortunately, these are mixed up with ideas that are either pointless or counterproductive. Here's one example:
'Apple pie' porridge
(breakfast)
50g porridge oats
200ml semi-skimmed milk
1 medium dessert apple, diced
Pinch of cinnamon
In my world, this is a dessert. It's the sort of thing everyone (in the country I live in, at least) recognizes as a fattening, indulgent treat. Using semi-skimmed milk doesn't make it less so - it just makes it less tasty.
But wait! There's another healthy alternative:
Baked beans on wholemeal toast: not only are they naturally low in fat, but baked beans are also packed with fibre and protein, making them a vegetarian source of protein.
Yes, they're low in fat. So what? A bag of Gummi Bears is low in fat. Baked beans are junk food, and we've just been advised not to stock junk food. Almost anything that comes in a tin is cheap rubbish filled out with modified starches, sugar, and dubious flavourings. If the NHS were advising people to make their own baked beans (ie., beans stewed with tomatoes, spices, and a chunk of greasy pork) and bake their own bread, I'd be right on board. But they're not. They're advising people to buy rubbish, and to serve it on a slice of fake wholemeal bread.
If there's any overarching theme, everything in the plan is low-fat. Foods that are naturally fatty have had the fat artificially removed or sliced off. That inevitably means the whole thing is extremely high in carbs. But here's where it all gets a bit odd:
Very berry smoothie: take 1 banana, 140g of frozen summer berries or forest fruits, 40g of low-fat natural yoghurt and about 100ml of apple juice. Blend the banana and berries until smooth. With the blades whirring, pour in apple juice to achieve the consistency you like. Limit the amount of fruit juice and smoothies you drink to a combined total of 150ml a day.
Why do we have to limit our smoothies? Could it be because they are unnaturally high in fructose? It can't be anything to do with fat. But we're not told outright.
There's even a recipe for an English Breakfast Muffin, which begs the question: how is this any different to a McDonald's Breakfast Muffin, particularly if one is buying muffins from the supermarket? Again: we're not told.
Let's move on a bit (to Week 3), in which we're advised to eat reduced-fat spread (a synthetic fat with added colours and flavouring), and Weetabix (a highly-processed carbohydrate product with a high GI). I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions about that.
In Week 4 we're told to remove all the fat from everything (leaving, by default, only the carbs) and that food cravings caused by malnutrition and caloric restriction are all in our heads. It's no wonder people end up with eating disorders.
In Week 7 we're being admonished again to delete all fat from our diets - particularly fried foods, butter, and cheese. We have still not been told why. This is what is currently known as a "balanced diet".
In Week 8 we're told to eat more salads, but - surprise! - we're not allowed to add anything fatty. That might make it taste nice, and we can't have that.
In Week 9 we're told that it's OK to eat crisps as long as they're home-made (which miraculously makes them healthy), that popcorn is better than pork scratchings, that malt loaf isn't cake, and cereal bars are bad for you ... although back in Week 1 we were told how to make cereal bars. Confused yet?
Weeks 10 and 11 are just wonderful. If you haven't read it, you really must. It addresses those people who have concluded, after 10 weeks of purgatory, that all this doesn't work.
And when we get to Week 12, we're told the bad news: even if our results have been mediocre, we have to do this for the rest of our lives or the weight will come back on again. Well, at least that bit is correct, even if it's likely to make one head off down the pub for pie and chips in despair.
Luckily, of course, human bodies aren't fundamentally broken, they're not allergic to fat, and if you avoid fake food, processed starches, and sugar, most bodies will get themselves onto an even keel. But I guess we wouldn't want to make this too easy. What would all those dieticians do for a living?