using donor eggs after 6 failed cycles

[lanabanana00]

I had 6 IVF cycles with my own eggs. Unfortunately, all of them failed. I had all cycles at the same clinic. So now I'm thinking to change it. Also, I'm going to use donor eggs this time. Unfortunately, there is no chance left for me to conceive with my own eggs. They are no longer suitable for conception. I'm so nervous... I was hoping regular IVF will work for us. I was trying over and over again... And I got nothing... And now I know that my chances with donor eggs are much higher, but at the same time, I feel so unsure about using eggs of a stranger... Feels so weird... And what if this IVF also fails? I'm losing my mind when I think about this whole situation I'm in. Where to get more money for forthcoming tries? Also, I'm worrying because my baby won't look like me. Yes, he/she will have my husband’s features (and btw he's totally ok with using donor eggs), but... For me, this is really hard. I have so many crazy and scary thoughts in my mind. Of course the most important is a healthy child... Is there anyone who had IVF with donor eggs? What are your thoughts? How do you feel now after using them?

[kaitlinD_R]

I'm sorry about your ivf failures. Forget about all those "what-ifs"! They're just making you nervous more and think about things which are not helpful at all! It's hard but try your best to think positively. We have 5 children. Two of them, twins, are from donor eggs. They don't look like us. Maybe just a little bit, some features... Even though we chose a donor who looked like me. But who cares? I don't, my husband either. They are mine. I love them as much as I love the other 3 kids of mine. So stop depressing yourself with all those thoughts! The most important is you'll carry your baby, give birth and become a mother! If it's what you want, go for it!

[lanabanana00 in reply to kaitlinD_R]

My congratulations! I hope this step will be the last one and we'll become parents. At the same time, when I think about 6 failed IVF rounds my mood changes completely... I'll try to follow your advice and think positively no matter what! Thank you for telling me about your experience. This is so amazing you have 5 kids! My congratulations on your successful ttc! You've calmed my nerves down. When I hear talks about babies and what they look like, what they took after their moms and dads... I'm just like "What about my kid? Will people say that he or she took smth from me?" You're right. This is not the most important in our path. I want to have a healthy baby(or babies, who knows). This is the only thing I should care about. How many IVF rounds with de did you have before getting pregnant with twins?

[kaitlinD_R in reply to lanabanana00]

I know honey! Our ttc wasn't easy at all. Our first try was a complete disaster. There were complications that started from the 9th week. On 11th week we had a scan which showed that the fetus faded on 7th week. That was a horrible time... I thought that was the end. But we still had 4 more tries. The second ivf cycle failed. And the third one gave me my precious boys! So it wasn't a simple thing to do. But all that was worth it. Yes, the health of your baby is the most important thing! Don't bury yourself in doubts and thoughts which make you sad. Concentrate on your journey. And be positive about it! If you have any questions, I'm here for you.

[cleo801]

First of all, I want to say that I'm sorry about your failed IVF cycles. I had 4 failed cycles. Each failure was awful and painful. I understand your confusion. This is so hard when you face infertility and nothing works. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 19 yo. I've been in treatments for years. Unfortunately zero results. I was lost. I didn't know what else to do to make it work. I was looking at my friends who were getting pregnant and having babies. I was constantly asking myself "Why me? Why nothing works?" I've tried so hard. Each time I believed with my whole heart and soul that "this treatment will help for sure". And each failure was breaking me down completely. To be honest, sometimes I had thoughts to stop fighting and accept childless life.

[cleo801 in reply to cleo801]

Now I'm happy I didn't give up. I'm now pregnant after a cycle with donor eggs. Believe me, you will forget all your doubts as soon as you know you're pregnant! You'll love your child! You won't feel a child's not yours because it will be your baby! You will carry your baby, you will spend 9 months talking and singing to your baby, you will give birth. And as it was said in the research I recently discovered - mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children! Even though I didn't hear about it prior to my ivf I still know the baby is mine. I'm the one and only mother of my baby. We used an anonymous egg donor. Also, we've used fresh eggs. We are still thinking if we tell our baby about egg donor. Anyway, we have time to decide. The most important is to find correct words to explain to your child this truth. There is a lot of info in the internet. It won't be so difficult to find the right words. IVF with donor egg is not a crime or something negative to hate. It's a way of infertility treatment. Wish you best of luck xx

[suzzzy]

Your child may look more like you if you use donor eggs than if you use your own eggs. Fact. There is no predicting how much or little any child will look like you. Or like your husband. People look for resemblances and similarities even when they aren't there. So you will get strangers who are SURE your DE daughter looks exactly like you.

[Mel77 in reply to suzzzy]

Agreed. Dh and I were looking for the features in our donor to be, which might coinside with mine..And the more we searched, the more candidates we got. All the ladies from donor database seemed were pictures of beauty - It turned out to be really hard to choose just one! So we stopped. I think I realized what I need is just a healthy kid, looks don't really matter. Dr was ok with our choice so we could soon proceed with actual treatments. Our donor produced many superb eggs for us. They placed back 2 Agrade blasts. Both took. We're parenting adorable DE twins.

[lisssa9]

I know what you mean. One of my biggest concerns when contemplating having a baby with another woman’s DNA was whether I would bond with that baby. I did a little reading. When a woman gets donor eggs, that doesn’t make the baby any less beautiful or perfect. I read a blog by a woman whose quote I have used many times, paraphrased: “Who says my genetics are so superior? Maybe I’m doing my children a favor by borrowing genes.”

But then I read a blog from a woman who was having difficulty bonding with her baby conceived with a donor egg. She said she kept seeing the image of the donor in the face of her child. It’s been four years since I read that blog. But it wasn’t until recently that I realized how my mind dealt with that information. When I received pictures of the donor we eventually chose, I looked at them briefly. I appreciated them and then put them away, never to look at them again.

Now, when I gaze into the faces of my two beautiful children who were conceived with the help of that donor, I do not see the physical characteristics they share with the egg donor. I see my husband, and I see my children. I even see a little of myself.

[Mel77 in reply to lisssa9]

''I even see a little of myself.'' - Love this !! I'm a mom of DE IVF twins. I'm with you. Using donor eggs is not about another woman is a biological mom to your kids. Because it was YOU who has carried the pregnancy to the term. It was you who has had growing little beans at heart. It was you talking to them daily and looking forward to meeing them on a big day. As for appearance, I truly don't care. Dh says they're ours, - this is the only thing which matters. Moreover, some time ago we made the decision to turn back to BTC again, and to try for a sibling. So good lucks needed

[caroline132]

I have a son from my own eggs and I recently gave birth to our 4-month-old via donor eggs. I too was worried about the baby looking like me. I was wondering if I would bond with her. I was wondering if for some reason I’d regret such a big decision. I can tell you that we bonded fast. Our friends tell us she looks like her brother at birth too. I bonded much faster with her than my genetically related son. How interesting is that?

I have barely thought about the donor thing - certainly not lately, in the last months, as I feed her, hold her on my chest and love her so much. It’s honestly the last thing on my mind. To me she’s perfect. And how much or how little genetics have to do with it I don’t care. I also went through multiple IVF cycles for our son and we did end up with a miracle. We tried again once, but after a failure, we went for de cycle. No regrets. We love our baby girl so much.

Good luck with your decision. I know it’s a tough one!

[Mel77]

I'm chimming in. Hello all. Turning to donor eggs has never been easy. At least I met literally no one saying - 'I felt absolutely OK about the decision'. Firstly, because a woman understands, her genes will die with her. Secondly, a woman is not ready to easily involve another woman is such a sacred process. She feels robbed. Like the only right nature has given to her just vanishes. Yet another side of the coin are relatives/friends who can get horrible at times. For instance, mom-in-law saying to her son 'You'd better find a healthy girl.." You see what I mean..All those are true hardles on the way not every girl is ready to deal with.

I myself am among those who had lots of private crying moments and hours of consideration to get to the point "Ok, I'll do it even though I have to farewell with my genes''. Dh and I passed DE IVF in Kiev years ago. It resulted in adorable twins. Now we're back for a sibling/siblings. Going down the same route and now, looking back, I'm sure I'd have gone this way again. Because in the end you achieve your dream/expectation/happiness.

I'm here for everyone who wants some good chat/details/tips whatever. I'll be glad to be useful.

[lanabanana00]

Girls, can I say I love you? Because I do! I'm so very grateful for all of your replies! For the last couple of weeks, I was thinking about this big step - turning to donor eggs. I was pondering each of your words. I must say, you've helped me greatly! Now I know what I want and what we need to do it right. A month ago the idea of de seemed so strange to me. Now it feels completely different! As I've mentioned already, my husband is all for it. We decided to start our search for a clinic. And we took your advice - we want to have de cycle abroad. If you know any good clinics to go to - please share! Your advice will be highly appreciated) I hope we'll be able to have a cycle at the beginning of 2021. I'm looking forward to it!

[Marmo]

IVF might be the best answer for many cases. Thus it's not always beneficial. The reasons for it's not being successful are different. And very often even the experts cannot predict the outcomes. Fertility world is too complicated. Anyways, the point is the fertility center is constantly looking for more and more effective ways to beat infertility. Mitochondrial donation is one of them. The method is still new, but it has already proved its effectiveness. BTC is currently using the optiin actively. It helps the female patients to "rejuvenate" their own eggs in preparation for IVF. For a closer look one can do more research. There is a plenty of positive reviews online. The only con is that the procedure is not suitable if eggs are damaged genetically. In this case these have to be donor eggs. What I wanna say is that there is a wide range of options to use. Such are the costs within countries/clinics. Lots of people are eager to travel to Ukraine, for instance, for more affordable prices. Even in times of covid pandemic IP don't stop. No matter how complicated the way is - do everything to achieve your goals.

💪😘

[Loraine7]

Sorry to hear about your OE IVF failures.. Still it's all about those who can choose -use their own egg or donor egg. But most of the patients might not have another choice. They have indications for unconditional donation, such as lack of ovarian, "lazy ovaries" syndrome, surgery, chemotherapy, genetic hereditary diseases, menopause etc. I've been among those. Hardly could I think I'd face it ever. Special thanks to our awesome dr Elena Mozgovaya who has helped us though..The thing I love about the repro center is that they never stop searching for new ways to beat infertility. All their protocols are individual and worked out for each particular case. BTW, have you heard about mitochondrial donation? The clinic is currently using this procedure with IVF. In brief, it's aimed to rejuvenate own eggs. Donor's mitochondria supply own eggs with all needed energy for fertilization and further embryo's development. As for genetics, the method is called ''three parent''. Meaning a small portion of donor's genes is passed over to a future child. But this number is tiny compared to your and your partner's genes. That's why I belive it's worth looking onto mitochondrial donation more attentively before moving straight to donor eggs.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

[andylins in reply to Loraine7]

With my ex husband (he's 50 yo) we decided to have a child. But precious time has passed and 2.2 years TTC didn't bring result. It was such a huge heartbreak for us to get to know the problem was in me (With my so to say proven fertility!). I was diagnosed on POF, have cysts on my ovaries. Also aged eggs we cannot use in IVF. Dh is just normal. The thought of having another baby has crept some time ago when my girl didn't come for her holidays the first time in my life. And I felt so alone. I love my house being full of family, friends, their children. And would love to have them on my own one more time.While searching info about clinics performing DE IVF we came across a Bio texc com. It offers 5 shots program with guaranteed result. In case of 5 failures they refund all money paid. So we decided this place will be a nice option for us to feel more confident with the outcome and our savings.We actuallygot a long list of questions, you know.. But, guess what? They offered sth completely awesome for us – mitochondria donation +ivf. We’re 2 days before transfer. Fingers crossed..

[SerrineV in reply to Loraine7]

Hi there, lovely. Congrats with your successful outcome! Donor eggs create miracles in the majority of cases too. I used donor eggs too abroad, at Biotexcom clinic. Though we've first started with own eggs. They gave us 2 shots with OE. With no luck we had to turn to egg donation further. but I don't regret a single thing. This was our overall ivf#7 successful!! So we were quite close to surrogacy, but did manage to do it with ivf! I need to say this - The clinic DOES KNOW the field!! They are professionals. All the equipment is new. Up to date methods of monitorying. The clinic takes good care of its patients/surrogates/donors. Some come for the second and third time to participate in the programs with them. It's definitely a good sign!

[Mel77]

It was definitely limbo, for sure. I had everything in a row to have kids. Sure, financially it could be spent on really fun trips for my dh and me. I could see myself in one of those beautiful places I'd like to see. But this all was going to be like a "replacement" for the kid I gave up on having. It was like I couln't enjoy life anymore and I was stuck. Anger, jealousy,deadness, desperation, loneliness..We began to seek medical help. What I want to say is that I highly respect what the fertility doctors/egg/sperm donors/surrogates are doing for us. Moreover, I'm sure not everyone can do the same thing. Not every woman would dedicate her time and physical efforts to help someone else. One of the requirements for the surrogates in Ukraine is having at least one healthy baby. So this means she takes time from her own baby and her family in order to give birth to the IP's baby! This deserves much! Kind lovelies they are. God's blessings to all. As for another great thing is that BTC we'd been with, for example, is actively using mitochondrial donation option which is incredibly effective.

[fay2399]

Hi Hun,I’m also going to try donor eggs.. don’t worry about similarities... as long as donor is from your race no one can say they don’t look like you.. my parents are my biological one but I don’t look like them ...

hopefully with 50% of your husband the kid gets your features

I don’t care about that ... I just wish I can hold a healthy baby in my arms .. with 3 failed cycles and 4 natural miscarriage.. I only hope I have a baby ..

You just need time to digest a fact to use strangers eggs.. is not easy decision xx

[SerrineV]

Oh god, it’s hard.. I remember myself being so much upset and broken. Obviously but trying my best to remain calm and not freak out. My husband has been great but, apart from his motility needing a slight improvement, all was fine his end. We were going to try our on the whole round #4 IVF. That time we were turning back to own eggs. Though they were gonna be just few, our kind doctor felt good about them. She advised us their new method of mitochondrial donation. You might have heard about sth like ”Three parents – one baby”..But this is not just the same with them. They use the donor’s mitochondria to rejuvenate own eggs of the patient. These mitochondria don’t effect the baby’s DNA, so its genetically yours. Like just adding some more energy needed for the successful fertilization and embryo development. So we decided to try it out. I just had to hope the egg quality was good enough for this procedure as the numbers were small. This was not easy though we’d already been in this for years..

Well, so what made us to turn to treatments in BTC? Firstly, costs. Secondly, services included into the package price. Feel free to pm for the details.

[andylins in reply to SerrineV]

Good news you have. Wish your family the best. A friend of mine has an experience with BTC. It’s in Kyiv. I just want to say that program coordinator helped them with all documents. So there was nothing to worry about. Everything went pretty fast. As soon as they contacted their manager, they responded immediately and provided them with all information. Yet in a couple of days they received a letter from the clinic with the questions to clarify the required info about their medical history. Also they needed marriage certificate. After they got all required info they appointed date of their meeting with the doc. They found surrogate mother for them in 2 months if I’d got it right. I think it is really short period of time, especially if to compare with Great Britain, where searching could take a year or even more. Besides there are so many legal aspects of it. I guess Ukraine is more surrogacy friendly than the US for ex. So congrats on your choice, guys, and which is the most important, on your success. All the very best wishes.

[andylins]

Seems ages from your post hanging on here. But seems this was to happen just like this as by this time I'm so pleased and happy to share our positive news with people. So I just dropped in with my success story to inspire you or say everything is possible though even time consuming. Firstly, egg donation is a great option. Now know it myself and regret absolutely nothing about using the procedure. We passed DE IVF in Ukrainian clinic (first time went overseas for treatment and achieved success!).

Seems every infertility story starts the same - heartbreak, confusion, anger..whatever once you hear the verdict - "You're not going to conceive with own eggs. Let it be 5% not more.." From that very moment your life changes forever. You seek every other option to be done just to keep on moving and look desperately for success. And hope, hope, hope..and when it looks like you're exhausted and crawl to your aim it finally works out! This was the story flow for us. I'm 42 yo, years of struggling behind. DX - endo, egg aging. Our last try home ended with early miscarriage, so we were finally told to move onto donor eggs. We booked 5 shots program there with the guaranteed result but didn't believe any guarantees at all as no one can be sure in infertility game. At least we were assured to get our money back if it didn't work after 5 shots. Actually it took us 2 tries. I believe God rewards us for waiting. Whatever the situation is just keep on moving and don't give up!

[Karinyaa]

Hi there, honey. You could have read in my previous posts that I passed DE IVF in Kyiv some time ago. Needless to say, I’m a textbook of infertility treatments. But our path had finally narrowed down to egg donation.

On the whole, when choosing an ivf clinic, we kept in mind that a clinic's success rate depends on many factors. These are: patients' ages and medical issues, as well as the clinic's treatment population and treatment approaches. It's usually 1 year of ttc with no luck for ladies up to 35 yo. And it’s only half a year in their 35+ yo. Before infertility testing, your doctor or clinic works to understand your sexual habits and may make recommendations based on these. In some infertile couples, no specific cause is found (unexplained infertility). Infertility evaluation can be expensive, and sometimes involves uncomfortable procedures. Many medical plans may not reimburse the cost of fertility treatment. Finally, there's no guarantee - even after all the testing and counseling - that you'll get pregnant. This is the hardest though..But on this point our BTC offered considering ‘guaranteed’plan. Meaning they give you unlimited tries. But in case you fail to get prego after 5 shots in a round you will get refunded.

[Loraine7]

Yay! Exciting times. I wondered how you are getting on lovelies, who're moving the same IVF path. Good luck with the stimulation stage, who's doing the injections. I didn't find them too painful if that's any help. It felt quite positive to me and brought me and my husband closer together on the journey. As what doesn't kill, makes us stronger. Moreover, we were facing sth completely new. Having read once about 'mitochondria donation therapy' we couldn't find peace in minds. Just bc we both felt like ''Yes'' this was gonna work out for us. Our old doctors felt ok with own eggs. They were pushing us towards another and another IVF round. Telling each time it was gonna be success..That was too painful to realize then sth more is needed for this long awaited success.. Sth like some healthy new active mitochondria taken from the donor's egg..Well, we've gone down this route in biotexcom. We're hoping for better as always.Just a couple of days after ET. Hoping these new mitochondria will create miracles for us. Fingers crossed.

[SerrineV in reply to Loraine7]

I sincerely congratulate you!! I believe your surrogate has already delivered your beautiful daughter..May all your new family be happy altogether! $150k for surrogacy plan in the US is too much!! I'd never be able to pay this sum of money..This was actually the first reason why we turned to surrogacy in Ukraine, BTC in particular. Their affordable prices. Moreover the set of services they offered for those costs. I could hardly see sth similar among other clinics. We signed up for the Standard package just like our kind blogger here. We paid 40k euros roughly speaking. (Far too away from those $150k, right?). (I've been stimulated. Iwas gonna pass ER procedure etc) I do feel this place creates wonders. We also met other couples here undergoing treatments. The only bad thing I've used to hear from time to time was that they were a bit slow as for the initial answering. But things changed for all of them when they actually came in to the clinic and got their cycles started there. I personally don't mind. Moreover, no wonder. The clinic's so much popular nowadays among foreigners.

[andylins]

Hi all. We faced several issues while struggling for a baby. Me – 39 year old with PCOS and thyroid issues. Got pregnant but lost the baby. Another 16 months with multiple miscarriages – hard to count and one ectopic leading to tubes removal. We knew this was the right path for ivf. After 3 years of trying we turned to a Greek fertility clinic where passed 2 shots. #1 – chemical pregnancy, #2 – bfn. Were feeling like having been robbed. We spent a fortune on treatments and got no result. Talking to ladies on different boards we happened to come across biotexcom clinic and found it rather attractive. So decided to try moving further with them. The verdict of using own eggs was too low. We were advised to move onto egg donation. We’re extremely lucky to experience parenthood after all the struggling. Our baby felt like our greatest miracle but we wanted more. So soon came back to the same place for a sibling. Please, never give up!

[SerrineV]

When we chose BTC med center, we could receive 100% guarantee that the result of the chosen program will be positive! We didn't happen to see such guarantee in any European or American clinic of reproductive medicine. All their patients leave the clinic only with a newborn in arms or being pregnant. They return the full whack in the case of failure. Putting hand in the pocket you pay one fixed sum for the program and not a penny more. All procedures, services and medical supplies have been already included in the programs’ price. Depending on the diagnosis and test results their docs will help to choose the most appropriate medical program. Like this one – ‘guaranteed’ 11.900 euros includes the following services:

5 embryo transfers. In case of 5 negatives they refund the money paid. Medical treatment. Medications needed before transfer and 3 months after. Egg donor fee; Sperm donor (if needed). Pregnancy monitoring till 12th week. Embryo reduction (if needed). Services of the coordinator in charge of the program. Transfer from/to the airport and from/to the clinic. It doesn't include TESA, TESE.

[andylins]

I was diagnosed with endo and PCOS almost 10 years ago. My only solution was egg donation. The greatest fear was that I will not be able to love child, who is not genetically related to me. Thus, when we were looking for clinic, the main criteria for us were positive reviews, professional doctors and good service. We’ve chosen Ukrainian clinic. Our neighbors tried donation there and the procedure was successful. They shared their thoughts about the clinic and the process with us. Also we’ve read many positive reviews about other couples experience with this clinic. I wanted a baby who I will carry and give birth by myself. I wanted to be with her from the moment of her birth, from her first breath. Of course, I wanted baby to look like us. Well, I’ve got pregnant from the 1st attempt. Now I have my precious LO. We asked our doctor to find egg donor, who will have same features with me. The clinic is called Biotexcom. I can advise you to find how clinics choose donors for their programs. Which diseases are they screened for? These are all very important questions because you want to be sure that your donor is free from any infectious or genetic diseases. Wishing you the best.

[SerrineV]

I have to add. BTC is a gigant in surrogacy sphere. It's the top clinic in Ukraine. Hundreds of couples come monthly there and sign up their contracts and are sure to be the best taken care of. Ukrainian law allows to issue birth certificate to intended parents' names regardless of their genetic links to the child. Donor or a surrogate mother has no parental rights over the child, who is legally the child of the prospective parents from the moment of conception. Surrogacy in BTC in particular offers the following advantages: Unlimited number of attempts. Money loss coverage. Opting for donor eggs for no extra waiting. Medications included into the package prices and many others. Their plans are well thought out. They're aimed to make the stay with them the best experience. I personally got to know some people on forums who came there for the second baby. To me it's a great sign. People do achieve success with them. That's why they're ready to come back again. And, frankly speaking, why not come back?!! Even if VIP surrogacy plan 64k euros is signed up, all-inclusive, unlimited number of shots, guaranteed, IT IS MUCH cheaper than a single shot in the USA, for example. (You're more likely to have this some 80k dollars the least in case you have a kind family member or a fried who's willing to carry the baby for you).