So hopeful: Hi everyone, Feeling a... - Infertility Support

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So hopeful

Lumie profile image

Hi everyone,

Feeling a little down today. I was 5 days late and was getting so hopeful about being pregnant. My period is never late. Always on time no matter what which is frustrating. Then when it didn't show, I was hoping it had happened. Only to be crushed as my period started today. I so long to have a baby. It hurts so much. Seeing everyone with their families and babies. I just want a family of our own. I was bought up in a broken family and i don't want the same for my child... That's if I ever have one. Every month is such a rollercoaster.

21 Replies

Poor thing I'm sorry you're facing trouble conceiving :( May I ask you, how long have you been trying and how old are you? I'm sorry if the following information is still unappropriate for you, but thought it might make some hints. I'd recommend you to visit a fertility specialist. You may have a general physical exam including a regular gynecological exam during your app. Specific fertility tests may include:

Ovulation testing. (A blood test measures hormone levels to determine whether you're ovulating.) Hysterosalpingography - evaluates the condition of your uterus and fallopian tubes. It looks for blockages or other problems. (X-ray contrast is injected into your uterus. Then an X-ray is taken to determine if the cavity is normal and ensure the fluid spills out of your fallopian tubes.)

Ovarian reserve testing - This testing helps determine the quality and quantity of the eggs available for ovulation. This approach often begins with hormone testing early in the menstrual cycle.

Other hormone tests check levels of ovulatory hormones, as well as pituitary hormones that control reproductive processes. Also pelvic ultrasound which looks for uterine or fallopian tube disease. Sometimes a hysterosonography is used to see details inside the uterus that are not seen on a regular ultrasound. I believe this all will help your Dr to determine the problem, get it nailed and look for the best solution for you. Of course, both of you are involved, so it's obvious your partner should pass some testings too. I'm going to talk about it in my next post. Not patronising, just trying to be helpful.

Lumie profile image
Lumie in reply to andylins

Hi andylins,

Thank you for your reply. We have been trying for over 4 years with 2 failed IVF cycles so thank you for the information but I've been through all of that just to be told I am textbook and that it's unexplained fertility. Most of the time I'm unaffected but now and again get really down.

Katty_Holz profile image
Katty_Holz in reply to Lumie

Oh I just followed the additional details here. 4 years is a long time and then failed IVF again possibly lands you at the same point where I am currently. Unexplained fertility feels like it's better to have several problem that you know than something you really don't know why happening. A cause gives you ways to treat or deal with it... sadly both of us do not have that advantage. After having failed 2 rounds I've simply give up on assisted fertility and we're trying the good old way. Femara, OPKs, BDing every third day and all that one begin with... the way I began 5 years back. Don't feel bad if you have more frozen embyos then go for FETs definitely. You never really know when something will click. As long as you're not an old hag like me... you can still make it you never know. Good Luck

Loraine7 profile image
Loraine7 in reply to Lumie

I thought this might interest you~

''....Women that went through multiple unsuccessful IVF attempts, as well as of older reproductive age, need to restore oocyte mitochondria in order to successfully become pregnant. A woman can become pregnant only if there are functionally active mitochondria in her oocytes. Donation of mitochondria will allow thousands of hopeless women to give birth to a healthy child through IVF using mitochondrial donation.

To carry out such a procedure, an egg donor with a high functional activity of mitochondria (a blastocyst production rate of 70% or more), a patient (willing to get pregnant), and sperm for in vitro fertilization are required. Healthy functionally active mitochondria are taken from a donor’s oocyte and integrated with the patient’s cells. Next, fertilization with sperm and transfer of a healthy embryo into the patient’s uterus is performed.

Mitochondria donation is a unique assistive reproductive technology, which is basically the implantation of a healthy and functionally active donor mitochondria into the cells of an infertile patient, that provides the patient’s cell with the necessary energy and contributes to successful pregnancy.''

If you'd like to research more for the details, please, let me know, I'll pm you with the clinic's name & links.

Stay strong and never loose hope Xx

So male fertility requires that the testicles produce enough healthy sperm. And that the sperm is ejaculated effectively into the woman's vagina and travels to the egg. Tests for male infertility attempt to determine whether any of these processes are impaired.

Your partner may have a general physical exam. obviously including examination of his genitals. Specific fertility tests may include:

Semen analysis. Dr may ask for one or more semen specimens. Semen is generally obtained by masturbating or by interrupting intercourse and ejaculating semen into a clean container. A lab analyzes semen specimen. In some cases, sperm may be tested for in the urine.

Hormone testing. Your partner may have a blood test to determine the level of testosterone and other male hormones. Genetic testing may be done to determine whether there's a genetic defect causing infertility. In select cases, a testicular biopsy may be performed to identify abnormalities contributing to fertility issues. In certain situations, imaging studies such as a brain MRI, bone mineral density scan, transrectal or scrotal ultrasound, or a vasography may be performed. In rare cases, other tests to evaluate the quality of the sperm may be performed, such as evaluating a semen specimen for DNA abnormalities. Those are just some rough facts on what might be expected and this not necessarily means you'll need all these things done. The thing is to get the problem nailed the earlier the better. 'cause time is a bad friend with fertility issues.

Could you also tell us more about your med history? All my positive thoughts going your way!

Hello, honey. I'm so sorry you have to go though all this. Trying for 4years with no luck must be heartbreaking. I was there too. The hardest is the waiting..because you don't know what to expect and what are the possible outcomes. You just dive in all this and sail..I was 37 yo, dh 40 when we began to seek help from fertility experts. I've always suffered heart disease. had high blood pressure. Diagnosed on malformation of the womb (later). Just like you we've tried 2 cycles IVF with OE - no luck. I remember well I arrived for the app after shot#1 failed. That time a saw another Dr, and to my surprise and the biggest dissapointment she was heavily prego..I put myself together and sat up to the end, truly cannot remember what it was going about in details, I was so broken. I spent the rest of the day crying in my bedroom. Nothing could stop me from feeling disabled, deffective, like a car whatever. I felt as miserable as never before in my life..We had to apply for the surrogate's help abroad - the process was never easy or the walk in the park. It was all consuming and demanding, but thankfully we were blessed at the end with our marvelous DS. I'm praying for all who has to go through..They say, God blesses us for waiting - that's just it at least in my case. May God turn his ear to your prayers, honey, I'm hoping for you xx

Lumie profile image
Lumie in reply to SerrineV

Thank you for reply. I'm glad you have a beautiful son at the end of the journey. It really takes it out of you and such an emotional rollercoaster.

andylins profile image
andylins in reply to SerrineV

I'm so sorry you have been through such a long haul with infertility. It seems that you have exhausted all of the medical resources possible to conceive. And it's awesome you found the solution in surrogacy. Perhaps it's time to give your body a rest and focus on your new ''big'' family now. Life goes by so fast. Don't miss any of wonderful thing that is happening right now! All the very best to you and your family xx

Hi there! I am so sorry about your condition. I can feel what you are going through. I m glad that you are trying assisted conception. Assisted conception is helping a lot of couples with their dreams. So you have tried 2 IVF cycles and both were a failure. IVF usually takes 2-3 cycles to be successful for the majority. But it really depends on your medical condition too. I think it's time to change your clinic. Clinics play an important role in this and if this clinic is not able to help you out then just change it. There are many good options out there to choose. It's important that for treatments like these doctors and staff are well experienced. If even after that IVF is not working for you then, move on to surrogacy. Then maybe IVF is not the right treatment for you. I m also having surrogacy so, I can assure you that it's safe and successful. The clinic I m opting for is abroad tho, but the packages are so affordable that it's worth it. Stay Blessed! Good Luck!

andylins profile image
andylins in reply to EmmaFoster1

I'd agree. The right clinic's choice is vital in the long run. But I truly don't think this is the right time to turn to surrogacy yet. Lumie may turn to donor eggs first. Of course if this option is considered at all. I do believe that the genes matter plays a huge role for IP. But here's one more very important thing like financial burden. At our clinic for example, donor egg ivf 'guaranteed' plan costs EUR 10k. The VIP 'guaranteed' surrogacy plan is EUR 50k. Of course there are other plans for 1 or 2 shots, but I personally think one should make it sth like 'win'plan. - you get your baby at the end or get money refund to be able to continue treatments. All those numbers are if undergone overseas. If we take for example, the US clinics, surrogacy will cost ap $80k (if you have a kind family member or friend who's willing to carry the baby for you). and up to $150k if you need a surrogate from the agency. We all choose what fits better in our particular case.

Lumie profile image
Lumie in reply to andylins

What's IP?

andylins profile image
andylins in reply to Lumie

IP means 'intended parents'

Stem cell and male infertility and female infertility on youtube

Sorry to hear that your hopes got marred by the AF. But don't be wasted in disappointment... there's always next month and next cycle. It's just that even if your cycles are clockwork you can always get late or even skip a cycle all of a sudden. It's all normal during the reproductive age! It's evident that you might have had a delayed ovulation which is why your cycle got shifted. You'll never know it unless you've been tracking ovulation using something more than time keeping or the app. Don't get upset over the momentary failure and start TTC with more optimism and confidence next cycle. Yeah the fertility road will always be bumpy but then success lies on the other side. Wish you luck to get a BFP soon... stay positive.

stem cell and female infertility and male infertility on youtube

Hey, I can completely relate with you. It gets very hard at times. Its like you're constantly trying but nothing is happening. We have moved forward with treatment. I would say you should also look into treatments. Don't worry I am sure things will get better. All my prayers are with you. Sending baby dust your way.

andylins profile image
andylins in reply to hannahding

That's it! Not sure what that meant at the time. But after all the fertility medications and injectibles I had to consume we got no result - just 2 weak low grade morulas!! That was frustrating and made me feel poor emotionally. I remember I had convinced myself it was more likely to be over. We just needed to transfer those weakies not even expecting success. Anyway we had to decide what we would do next... Maybe sell the stupid big house with empty bedrooms and move to a condo in the city. I didn’t know what we would do next because having a baby was all I had thought about for so so long!! For years and years a baby and a family was the plan! My life had been on hold for so long!! I didn’t know how to think of anything else..I guess this emptiness made me stronger. I began seriously think of using donor eggs as mine were absolutely useless for IVF. This decision was never easy, but IT WAS worthy. I'm mom of adorable DS and expecting the sibling for him.

What treatments have you applied for? Blessings x

Hi Lumie! I hope you are feeling better now. I am so sorry that you are facing trouble in this journey. This journey is so hard, and infertility makes it even more hard for us. You have 2 failed IVF cycles maybe it's time for you to change your clinic. Clinics can really affect your success rate. You need to find yourself a good clinic. I have also started my first IVF cycle at this clinic. The odds are in my favor totally. Because of the success rate of this clinic, I m positive that my treatment will work for sure. The packages are quite affordable as well. Everything will be alright, just stay calm and try again. IVF takes 2 or more cycles for the majority to be successful. Good luck. Stay blessed.

Lumie profile image
Lumie in reply to LeonaJordan


Thanks for you message and encouraging words. The clinic I have used has a high success rate too and it isn't far from me so I am reluctant to move. I have a high % of success due to being textbook, age and very good egg reserve of decent quality. Very frustrating to hear though.

This journey is definitely a rollercoaster. I hope everything works out for you all. I am hoping to start my 3rd IVF cycle this year. I think it may be my last.

andylins profile image
andylins in reply to LeonaJordan

All the best of luck ahead!!

Ohh dear... hugs for you! I totally understand and can relate to the feeling when you were counting on the BFP after having had missed the AF for a good long time. But don't you be disappointed as hope isn't lost and never will as long as you don't give up on trying. I'd say you rather giddy up and prepare for next month and go ahead with full-on optimism. How long have you been on TTC? Did you tried medicated TTC yet or have had any tests done to pinpoint the cause of your failed attempt? I wouldn't suggest you any assisted fertility measure and not certainly IVF unless I know that it really looks promising. About what you feel when you see people with babies or pregnant woman and desire you had your own bundle of joy... make it your strength. I used to feel the same and coped with it by thinking if they can I can it's just then some people have to struggle through because things don't come easily to all... and I fall in that category.

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