What is it to raise twins?

[nicolesh]

I would like to hear experienced moms who had raised twins or triples? With real experience, not heard or read. What to look at, what to be ready to, etc.

[litoshka]

Hi! I have been helping my elder sister(she delivered at 29) to cope with her boys. They are almost 3 y.o now.

Here are some things all should know waiting or having twins. I have learned them by my own experience. It is not hard, it is exponentially difficult.

First, think ahead: buy car seats, strollers, cribs, and bassinets much in advance. Also, buy diapers, baby blankets and other bed linen in good quantity. Keep a few diaper sizes ready and some blankets too. Keep your pantry full of snacks and cooked meals. Be prepared not to be able to go shopping for weeks together, so stock up until you can actually find some time to go out and shop. Second, keep a full survival kit near you at all times, keep a basket near your bed filled with snacks, water, a book to record their feeds and reactions and a phone, and other necessities. Another kit could contain water, diapers, clothes, talc and extra wipes. All that must be stored before a delivery. Be ready to spend some time in a hospital after a birth. Just to be watched by the doctors.

[litoshka in reply to litoshka]

You will surely need help. Ask family and friends for it. If you don’t have anyone in the family that can help out regularly, consider a hired help. You can’t be available to your babies all the time without resting for a bit. Rest and sleeping are the biggest problems a mom of twins has. This means asking others to help with changing nappies, cooking, babysitting and running errands for you. And if your house looks and feels neglected, don’t bother about it. If a family can’t help, enlist the help of friends and neighbors, especially in the first three months.

Set your routine to manage your twins. Soon after birth, babies just eat and sleep, so coordinate these activities well. So, if one wakes up because he’s hungry, you need to get to work on the other one and feed him. If you don’t do this, you’ll be awake all night and day. It’s important that you feed the babies and rock them to sleep at the same time. Sync their schedules and feed them together and let them go to bed at the same time. it is mandatory. If one of them wakes before the other, wake up the other twin so that they are in harmony and you get the desired break.

[nicolesh in reply to litoshka]

Wow! You are so great! Not feeling lazy to type? Thanks! I will hear your story further with a pleasure. Are married? Any kids? All my attention is yours.

[nicolesh]

Nice to hear you. We had a short talk a couple of weeks ago, right? How are you? If you like, I will continue. It is a real experience and my own observations. I have been making them for almost a year. It seemed sometimes I was a mom. But I had a job. So...

[litoshka]

So, listen to some more nuances about twins.

Don’t stress yourself out. Instead of getting unduly stressed out, go easy on yourself and worry about the kind of parent you’re going to be. Just take things as they come and move on from day to day, doing all you need to for your babies. Treat each child as an individual. If you begin to use each baby’s name, others could follow as there would be a definite difference between them that brings out each one’s individuality. it is very important.

One-on-one time. Though you’re sure to be with both your babies all the time, you need to take out some time each day and spend it with one kid at a time. This way, each one gets your individual attention and recognizes you as their mother.

Spend time out of the house on your own. The change of scene could lift your spirits and be nice to be in other company.

Buy second hand and accept hand me downs. Your expenses will grow exponentially. So, keep an eye on the most serious needs. Watch discounts and sales.

[litoshka]

Finally, a few more notes from my memory. Set twins on a routine. The wise thing to do is to establish an eating and a sleeping schedule. They must eat and sleep at the same time. Otherwise, you will not get any sleep or food yourself. You should be in perfect health all the time.

Let them cry a little. For mothers of twins, it’s never easy to give each baby her 100% attention all the time. In their first year, they will cry to tell you they want something, and will perhaps cry until you figure out what they want. As time goes on, you’ll get accustomed that it’s alright for one of them to cry while the other is served.

I hope you will find these tips useful. This is not all. Only a short sketch. The first year is the most difficult. All people should be at hand to support a mom.

Or a hired nanny. Whatever is available.

That's all I had to tell. Maybe, too long. But memories of that time came over...

[nicolesh]

I am so grateful to you. The comments are extensive and deep. It looks you have done a great job for your sister. Have a question. Did her husband take part in raising the twins during the first year? Especially in the nights? I guess, the nights were quite sleepless. Feeding, changing diapers, all like that...Just interesting...

[Mel77]

Hi! We conceived or twins through donor egg ivf. So this is the first which comes to my mind.

During the day I fond it extremely hard to get them to go down for naps. They constantly woke crying in and out of sleep. I tried to pin point any problems. D also had an inguinal hernia which I think made him uncomfortable when he needed to poo. They continued to wake constantly during sleep for months. D more than the J. When they were born until around 5/6 weeks they slept in mamaroo chairs during the day, then Moses baskets at night. They began to get really fussy in the chairs, so I then tried a travel cot downstairs sleeping together for around 2 weeks but again they never slept deeply..

[JustKnewIt]

Just dropped in to say I'm so glad for ladies with their twins May your little ones be strong and healthy. It's hard to imagine how it is to bring up two/three kids at once. We've got the only one through surrogacy. A sweet fair haired girl. She's an apple of my eye. So thankful to God we have her in our lives!!