Trying to figure out: Just posting my... - Infertility Support

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Trying to figure out

AmbK profile image
AmbK
37 Replies

Just posting my story straight away!

I'm 28, TTC for almost 2 years with one miscarriage at 8W.

I swear, knowing I might need fertility assistance sounded better than "unexplained infertility". I feel like being on an unknown road with only a destination that no one seems to know the way to. Sometimes I just lose my mind and cry all night. Romance in life has slowly changed to OPKs and BDs, leaving less scope for the lighting up my mood without feeling miserable about how useless I'm when it comes to having a baby.

I'm scheduled for IUI in December. Hope things get better from December onward. Simply trying to find some hope and support in the forums while I wait for my turn.

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AmbK
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37 Replies
Anjlina profile image
Anjlina

Hey Ambk , feel really sorry for you my dear. But don't lose your hope. be positive, Things are getting better a the time pass. As you write in your post- "unexplained infertility", Doctor has recommended a right thing for you- iui.

You Know An IUI procedure may be helpful in a variety of cases, including for couples with unexplained infertility, you will definitely get a good news in December.There are cases where IUI treatment is a good choice. Finger crossed.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to Anjlina

Thanks a ton, every wish counts! Yeah, IUI is where the fertility assistance begins, hopefully, something good will definitely come out of it. Since my infertility is tagged "unexplained", Dr does not have an option to recommend IVF yet. Also, the hormone vitals in both of us are pretty much optimum to indicate any need for a medication regime before moving onto clinical procedures. As of now, I'm quite contented with the fact that we're not stuck at the same stage! Being scheduled for next step is like we're moving ahead towards having a baby, even though it may take time and several attempts. It gives me hope for sure. IUI worked a for a lot of women like me, so I can certainly be optimistic that it might be my cure too.

Anjlina profile image
Anjlina in reply to AmbK

Well, I just want to say that don't lose your hope, IUI will definitely work for you. stay positive and follow the procedure and throw out all the negative thoughts from your mind. Hope for the best.My good wishes are always with you and do reply me for your latest updates.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to Anjlina

Sure will! Yeah, even I'm counting on it. At least, for now, I can stay optimistic that everything will work out this time with the IUI.

krystle_Cellie profile image
krystle_Cellie

Hey dear don't lose your hope. we all are here to support you. IUI is a very successful treatment with a good success rate. Don't be so scared. I am sure that you will be pregnant definitely after having the treatment of IUI or if you have any doubt regarding the treatment than you may attend a webinar where the number of experts are available to assist you.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to krystle_Cellie

I'm really glad to have found you all. This forum has been a lifeline to me lately. Waiting for a scheduled fertility assistance is like you're too insane to hold on but prefer not to speak up just yet, while a thousand questions revolve in your head. Surely, I can't call up the clinic for simple things. Also, everyone here has an experience of their own, a fertility journey of their own. I just pick up a thing or two while going through the post and supporting the ones who need in the meanwhile. I think I could have never been able to discuss these stuff so freely with most women around me. Don't judge me on this but I feel kind of humiliating at times. Usually, I tend to abstain from picking up any of it in any gathering. Infertility is an evil, it makes even the dawn look eerily dark.

krystle_Cellie profile image
krystle_Cellie in reply to AmbK

Dear don't be so upset. There is a solution of each and every problem in this world, The only thing which really matters is your attitude toward the circumstances. It is not just because you can't see the positive side, Doesn't mean that it does not exist anymore.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to krystle_Cellie

Thanks for your sweet words Krystle! :) I'm being hopeful that everything will be alright - it's only a matter of time. 16th December is only 2weeks far so I'm staying as much positive as I can. My clinical attendant told me that there's some hormone called "endorphins" which is released when you stay happy and that has a role in keeping hormonal stability. The stability is important to promote pregnancy.

Isabellee profile image
Isabellee

Hi AmbK. I know what you mean. Not knowing the cause of the infertility is worse than finding out that you are infertile. You just don't know how to proceed. However, in such a scenario, IUI is usually the best option. Hang in there. I hope it works out well for you. Good luck!

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to Isabellee

Thanks for the support! Knowing what's causing infertility surely helps fight it. I have been scheduled for the IUI of 16th of December. Hope it works for me - keeping my fingers crossed. Will need a lot of support and good luck wishes from you ladies. :)

jennaperks profile image
jennaperks

Hey Ambk, there is nothing to worry about if you have decided for IUI. I know you are going through a tough time but life and death are not in our control. One thing I would like to suggest is if GOD Forbids IUI doesn’t work then go for IVF. Take care of your health and diet. Wish you good luck.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to jennaperks

Yes, we've thought about that already and making plans to save up for IVF. We're even considering reproductive tourism options already - just in case we need multiple rounds. I'm not giving up for sure. I've figured mostly when people have a problem IUI doesn't help much. After all the forums and discussions with other women who had been or continue to suffer from infertility, I'm somewhat convinced that the that PCOS, low AMH related stuff doesn't have much success rate with IUI. It's usually the sperm motility and low count are obstacles that IUI can undo. There are always exceptions though and much more in pregnancy-related stuff - you never know when you get lucky. IUI was enough to get some women pregnant, so I'll keep my hopes high and finger crossed! :)

agathageorge profile image
agathageorge

Hello AmbK. I feel sorry for you. I can understand your pain. Unexplained infertility is really worst thing. Knowing the cause can really be helpful. You can try to solve the issue only if you know it. There is no solution to a problem unless the problem is known. I know you are going through a tough time. However, you need not cry. It won’t get you anything. I know it is not under your control. However, you can try at least to be strong and positive. IUI is normally the first procedure that any infertile woman goes through. I wish you all the best for your treatment. Let us know about your experience.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to agathageorge

Thank you so much! I'm glad to have had found the forums.

kayleemartin profile image
kayleemartin

Hi AmbK. I can understand what you are going through. Infertility and miscarriages are discouraging so many people. Both of the issues are really hard to deal with. They damage both mental and physical abilities of a person. Anxiety and stress overtake a person. Why don’t you know the reason for your infertility? Have you not consulted the doctor? What does the doctor say about the reason for not being able to conceive? If you know the cause, it becomes easy to find the solution. You should not be crying. Instead, face the issue with courage. Try to fight bravely. I am sure you will be out of this problem soon. I am glad that you have decided to go for IUI. I wish that IUI proved to be successful in your case. Good luck.

paulinadave profile image
paulinadave

Hey Ambika, how are you? Your age must not be the factor because my own aunt gets married at 40 years and had a baby girl through IVF at 43. Have you consulted any doctor? You must. Almost every 2nd doctor has its own beliefs and suggestions. You should consult at least 3 doctors so you can opt what is more suggested. I am happy that you are getting the best advice in this forum. IUI is really very effective. Its success rate is also very high. Take care of your health and diet. I wish you good luck.

celindaherbal profile image
celindaherbal

Hey! Why you sound so down? You are not the only one many others are also in the same boat. Thousands of women are facing fertility issues. Just be relax and hopeful. Don’t let your emotions overcome your spirit of conceiving. You decided for IUI, it’s a safe process according to my knowledge ladies frequently have a 10 to 20 percent possibility of getting pregnant with only one IUI cycle. The more cycles of IUI you experience, the higher the possibility is for a pregnancy. With 3 to 6 cycles of IUI, pregnancy rates can be as high as 80 percent. So, don’t freak out. And fingers crossed.

amandagrey profile image
amandagrey

Hello AmbK. Sorry to hear that. You are so right. Unexplained infertility is the worst. If you know the cause, at least you have some idea about how to fix it. For you, that is not the case. However, don't let that get you down. IUI is often the first treatment options women go for. Even those who know the cause of infertility. This is because it is suitable for almost everyone. It is also a cheaper option compared to IVF, ICSI or surrogacy. Also, it has a high success rate. I hope this was helpful for you. Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to amandagrey

yeah, IUI is first step into clinical assistance for fertility - that's what my Dr told me. I was keen on knowing if I can get to IVF directly and he kind of told me to shrug off that idea of mine. He said you need to go for IUI first and then you're to supposed to move onto IVF if at all and so on. After watching all the informational videos by Dr Elena Mozgovaya on PCOS and other causes of infertility I'm pretty sure the underlying cause will be identified sometime soon when the advanced fertility treatment begins. Plus, I figured if we want to have more advanced treatment right away we've got to pay for it ourselves. So, decided we go with the IUI and then IVF - don't wanna pull in our money just yet when we've had it covered till the first round if I fail to conceive through IUI. There's an equal chance of it working as much as it is of not working. I'm still hoping it will work - fingers crossed!

amandagrey profile image
amandagrey

Hello. Look for an independent surrogate. That can bring down the costs. However, with an agency, the procedure is more hassle-free. Also, you don't necessarily need a lawyer. Having one thought can be highly helpful. That way you won't have to manage everything yourself.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to amandagrey

I'm just going for IUI as of now. I think I'll have an IVF if this doesn't work and surrogacy is not even in my thoughts yet. Planning ahead is good but planning for how to arrange for an independent surrogate when I haven't even tried IUI is a bit of rush. Thanks for the advice anyway. Will look into it if I may need it in 2-3 years down the line. I hope it doesn't get that far though.

emilywilson profile image
emilywilson

Hi honey. I know what you mean. I am in a somewhat similar boat. I have also been fighting infertility. I do know the cause. However, that hasn't helped me much. I have been trying to conceive for 2 years now. During this time I went for IVF treatments. 4 attempts to be precise. Each of them was unsuccessful. So, knowing the cause hasn't been much use either. Good luck to you. I hope IUI is the solution for you. Good luck!

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to emilywilson

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles! :( I was devastated over the whole unexplained infertility hoping if only I knew (we knew) what's the cause it would have been easier to find the right solution. But knowing doesn't solve it either. Thank you so much for making me feel better about my condition. I hope you find a way out soon as well. Sending lots of love and good luck to you!

lily96 profile image
lily96

Hi there ladies. It is nice to see how supportive you are. That is the best part of this forum. The community is just so good. I'm happy you found some support here AmbK. I agree with the previous comments. IUI really is the best course of action for you. Since you don't know the cause of infertility. IUI is quite effective. It is also suitable for almost all cases. Have you considered getting a second opinion? Maybe your infertility might have a discoverable cause. A second opinion could help you find that. Good luck!

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to lily96

Not yet. Partially because even if we find that IUI won't be any help from a second opinion we'll have to go for it if we don't wanna pay up for whatever the alternative is all by ourselves. Also, I've been told that it so happens that as the process of fertility assistance gets more advanced so does the diagnosis - the ones detected by genetic screening or MAG test indicating an abnormal pattern etc. So, I can almost expect to find a cause once I go for IVF if I need it. Hope I don't need it though and the IUI works ending the ordeal.

Leah254 profile image
Leah254

Hi AmbK. I'm sorry to hear that. Unexplained infertility is hard to deal with. It's like taking shots in the dark. I had been TTC for 3 years. I managed to succeed with ICSI. You could also ask your RE about that. Maybe that will be suitable for you too. I personally know that it is an effective option. Of course, it might not be suitable for everyone.It's worth talking to the doctor about it though. Let me know if you want more information.I would be happy to help you out. Good luck! Looking forward to hearing from you.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to Leah254

Isn't ICSI a process associated with IVF? I don't think I'll know if I need it unless we move onto IVF sometime next fall. I'm lined up for IUI as of now (16th of December) so I guess I'll have to wait before the ICSI can help me. Any information, however, will surely help - so feel free to share! :)

stacy_evergreen profile image
stacy_evergreen

Hi Amok! You are not alone on this road leading you nowhere because there are a lot of infertile women on this forum and you might have known it by looking at the replies to your post. Obviously, this is a matter of concern for every other woman like you. Your doctor has suggested you about the right thing. It will help you in getting pregnant. You just need to stick to the plan and hope for the best. Things will change with the passage of time. Your unexplained infertility will be over soon in this December and you will hear good news from your doctor.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to stacy_evergreen

Thank you so much for such sweet words and fill me up with hope! Yeah, I'm positive that it will be over sometime soon be it this IUI or other processes that I might have to undergo if this one fails. :) Let's hope the December IUI works.

mayastone profile image
mayastone

Hi dear! I have seen a lot of cases of unexplained infertility and it is more stressing than the known fertility because you do not know what is happening to you and where should you go. You have done the right thing by going to the doctor and your doctor has also suggested you the right option. They are specialists in their field and they know better what to do for unexplained infertilities. December is not very far away from now, just a month is left in order to get your process started. Take a chill pill and be patient.

jennaworks profile image
jennaworks

Oh dear. You are worrying too much. I know unexpected infertility is very stressing for you but it is a fact and you will have to accept it. All you can do is try your best to make things right for you. Bad time is not forever and after a bad time always comes a good time. You should have faith in your doctor and the process he has suggested you. You are still young enough and you have enough time to try different methods to get pregnant. It will be best if the first attempt proves to be successful. If not, you still do not need to take the stress. You will work that out too. I hope you get pregnant soon. Fingers crossed.

nancybolt profile image
nancybolt

Hi there! I'm really sorry to hear your story. IUI would worth a try in your case. Even those couples who know the reason tend to try this firsthand. Also, if you don't mind my asking, can I know where are you from? I can recommend you a clinic that I know if you live in Chicago. Have you tried seeking a second opinion? What did they say? In either case, please don't lose hope just yet. I'm sure you will be successful soon. Avoid getting too much stressed out by taking this. It's hard but definitely very helpful.

belenstrokes profile image
belenstrokes

Really proud of you all! I mean it feels so good to see everyone trying to help others through their experiences. What a forum to join :) My recommendation also is IUI. It's really bothering me that they did not tell you the cause of your problem. I mean how can they not? Try changing your doctor. Go to an expert this time. The least they can do is to tell you what's wrong. This will help you to plan your next step accordingly. Please keep us updated.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to belenstrokes

I did take Dr opinion on a couple of forum about why my infertility is tagged "unexplained" and if it could really be without a cause. The consulting Dr said that it's not really "unexplained" because if there's a manifestation there has to be an underlying cause. But as the scenario goes - every step of fertility assistance have a set of diagnostic procedures which gets more advanced and detailed as one moves forward. So, it's possible that when (if at all) I move onto IVF I'll find an explanation for my problem with conceiving. Like one wouldn't know if they are having multiple MCs due to chromosomal translocation which is detected only during gene screening of embryo in IVF before FET. They will probably be tagged "unexplained" till the time they get to IVF if there are no other problems. The ladies out there kind of proved the same with their experiences. However, as you must know it's hard to stay contented with a supposed explanation that still says "we don't know why you're infertile but we're working on it". :(

heath225 profile image
heath225

Hey there! I did not know if there is anything like unexplained fertility until now. It must be so hard to deal with. My God. Talk to a specialist, honey. I still don't believe that there is no explanation for this out there. There's gotta be. Go to Europe. There are so many greatest clinics and doctors around the world. If you go abroad, you can also expect to spend less than you'd otherwise end up spending in the states. Please explore every option at your disposal to know the reason. If everyone says the same, IUI can be tried.

AmbK profile image
AmbK in reply to heath225

Thank you so much! I did talk to some of the forums as well as pestered my Dr with some serious questions as in if there's an issue why it's still undetected. I can't judge the accuracy of the information passed on but this is what I could figure is the just .... there's always an underlying reason that only comes to surface as you move ahead in your fertility journey. Some problems like hormone balance, AMH, weight, medical history etc can be taken into account for even normal TTC every stage adds more parameters on the testing. My lining seems to be little thin 6.8mm (as checked during my IUI) but they said if the embryo is formed it will trigger the lining thickness further so I need not to worry at it seems close to normal at this stage.

Many women with unexplained fertility find the answer for it when they move onto IVF and a thorough checking is done. I hope I find mine too soon... it'll be more comforting to know that what's exactly is inhibiting my pregnancy. MENTS my IUI1and 2 turned up to be a BFN and IUI 3 a chemical this month.. so I guess we'll have to move onto IVF too.

Alessia profile image
Alessia

Howdy ambk, how are you feeling? I hope this finds you well! I am sorry that you are going through all this. You have to be strong and try to move only forward. Nothing else matters! I can relate with the " I swear, knowing I might need fertility assistance sounded better than "unexplained infertility"." part. The unknown is the hardest thing to deal with. Again I am sorry that this is going on on your life! I can also relate with the fact that your IUI begins in december. My surrogacy starts by then too. I guess we both will be mother around the same time. I hope that everything goes fine and smoothly with you. I also wish the same upon myself. Keep your chin high dear, things will get better. God bless you sweetie! Sending massive love xxoo

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