I was pregnant, but had gestational diabetes, so went into hospital on 6th January 2011, 2 weeks before my due date, so I could be induced. Everything was going to plan and I started labour on 7th Jan. It was about lunch time on 8th Jan that I started to feel really unwell (not just labour pains!!) I started to convulse and both my heart rate and my babies were rocketing. They thought it best to deliver my baby by forceps.
I was taken into theatre and little Libby was born. Staff soon realised that my blood wasn't clotting, I was haemoraging and I had a blood infection. Poor little Libby was whisked away and all sorts of tests were carried out on her, to see if she was also ill. Thankfully she was healthy! I lost consciousness and woke up 3 days later.
In that time, my husband was escorted out of theatre and had to wait for about an hour on his own, not knowing what was going on with either myself or Libby. He must have been terrified!!
Please excuse my lack of medical knowledge here........ I lost 8 pints of blood, had a balloon thing inflated inside of me to try and stem the flow, was taken to radiology where they zap the area thats bleeding, in an attempt to stop it, then was taken to ICU.
At first they didn't know what was causing the blood poisoning, so I was pumped full of all sorts of antibiotics. Turns out it was E Coli.
When I woke up in ICU, I was still on the ventilator and have a clear memory of it being removed (not nice!!). It was from this point that ICU was an absolute nightmare for me. I had ICU psychosis, but obviously didn't know this at the time.
My dreams/visions/hallucinations were of being swollowed by those awful moving beds that they have and being dragged into hell!! Then I convinced myself I wasn't actually mental, it was just the staff in the hospital drugging me, to make me think I was mental!?! Boy oh boy, ICU plays with your mind doesn't it? The vivid dreams and nightmares lasted for a few months, long after being in ICU.
When I was in ICU, I would forget I'd just given birth and had a daughter, that carries a great deal of guilt. I felt terrible for not being there just after she was born, I felt guilty for my husband having to do so much work and caring for both Libby and I and the list goes on and on.
Because of the psychosis and the deep feelings of guilt, I received counselling and it helped enormously. I can't recommend it enough!
I received fantasic care during and after my time in ICU. It probably took a full year before I felt physically and mentally fit again.
TIME IS A GREAT HEALER!!!!!