How can I help my intubated father in ICU?

[Pluto8]

I am desperately frightened as my father is fighting for his life, he has septic shock due to a liver abscess which has resulted in complications to his kidneys, brain and liver. Yesterday I saw him and he was so sleepy he could barely open his eyes and speak, although he was able to tell me he was in pain when I asked- the staff are very kind. I cannot imagine what he is going through. When they moved him to prevent bed sores it badly effected his breathing and they have had sedate and intubate him. They have now sent him for a CT scan and we are waiting for the results. His kidneys are so weak they can't handle the contrast dye. He is currently on a load of antibiotics but is having problems with clotting related to the liver. I hope and pray he pulls through. The plan is to keep on the sedation for the time being and if all goes well they would wean him off it. I have never seen anyone so poorly in my life. I hope the antibiotics work so much more than anything in the world. Although getting intubated is terrible the nurse told me it will give his organs a rest and he was in a lot of pain and discomfort so now they have sedated him he will be comfortable. I also feel bad because this is a very good hospital by far the largest our area, but it is not one of the 5 or so specialist liver units in this country and I want him to get the best care possible. What can I do to help him?

I pray to The Lord, Our Saviour that he will recover.

[Rhyl1 Partner Moderator ICUsteps]

I’m so sorry that you and your dad are going through this. You are very early in the ICU experience and the best way you can help your dad is to look after yourself. Try to get enough sleep, remember to eat and take a walk when you can in nature to ground yourself. This is a marathon not a sprint. Although the ICU where your dad is isn’t a specialist liver centre they will be asking for specialist help with his care. If you don’t have anyone to speak to you can join the online relatives support group run by the Critical Care Support Network, which is at 8 pm UK time every Tuesday. For more information see cc-sn.org/drop-in-meetings.

[Heretotellthetale_ in reply to Rhyl1]

Sorry just to add my ICU asked to liaise with a hospital in Leeds for my liver issues, so even though he is where he is it is possible he will be on the radar of necessary specialists

[Heretotellthetale_]

hello, I am a recent survivor so no wisdom to give you but just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through this. I feel very strongly that all that I went through was far harder for my loved ones, I was on life support and oblivious but my family lived it minute by minute, hour by hour for 2 weeks until I woke. Be kind to yourself, look out for each other. I hope your dad turns a corner and starts to improve.

[Pluto8]

Thank you both- you are right I have only had some toast, a sandwich and some crisps in three days. I haven't slept more than 3 hours a night. I followed your advice had a cooked meal yesterday and I managed to get 8 hours with a sleeping tablet. The Leeds liver unit and Birmingham liver unit are about the same distance from his current hospital. He need a couple of other specialists who are not working over the bank holiday. Good news is they have found the bacteria and put him on better antibiotics. He is still intubated, I speak to him, hold his hand, for people who have been intubated did you hear anything? I have been in a CICU (Cardiac Intensive Care Unit) as a patient, after I had cardiac arrest in my living room that lasted over 15 minutes due to a genetic abnormality associated heart and autoimmune problems- I now have an implanted pacemaker-defibrillator (ICD). My father saved my life by doing CPR for 12 minutes even after the paramedics arrived. Every time I close my eyes I hear the beeps and I see his face with all the tubes, noises are starling me. I am having vidid nasty dreams. I feel very guilty about going to my own doctor about this when dad is the one who is sick. It is Easter Sunday and I am trying to eat normally again so we are having a lamb roast, it is one of dads favourites. I pray to The Lord, Our Saviour that he recovers from this.

[BigH63]

Hi. Sorry to hear this. Part of the many issues I had was AKI acute kidney injury, I was on dialysis amongst other things and antibiotics. I was also recommended to have ECMO but was not well enough to travel from my hospital to London, but what I do know is my hospital was in constant contact with two major hospitals in London to get the best advice they could to save my life.

As for hearing or know if someone is around you that’s harder to say I was induced coma and also paralysed and intubated and then a Tracheotomy after that to help my body recover, I would have lucid moments when I thought family were there but that was mixed with delirium so hard to tell.

Like others have said make sure you get enough sleep food and mental rest you can, because I can bet if you miss a visit because of it you will not forgive yourself.

Stay strong and ask questions.

🙏

[Pluto8 in reply to BigH63]

Thank you. I am not visiting today and he is all I can think about. Did you have the sensation time passed when you woke and were you comfortable or in any pain? Dad's on propofol and fentanyl which are exactly the same drugs they use for general anaesthetic for surgery. When you have surgery as soon as the anaesthetic goes in and you count down you are in the recovery room.

[BigH63]

my sensation of time was so long, I kept thinking why can’t I go home ever time I woke up, it seemed like for ever. I really had no concept of days nights etc.

I personally was only in pain every time they had to turn me I dreaded those times as I knew what was coming. I was in tears sometimes but the team where more than considerate at those times.

[Heretotellthetale_]

hello, how are things going?

[Pluto8 in reply to Heretotellthetale_]

Yesterday he was defibrillated as his heart rate spiked (although never stopped), and the doctors have told the family to gather round to say goodbye. A priest has been called. The goal now is keeping him comfortable. x

[Angelfran123 in reply to Pluto8]

Goodness I am so so sorry. After reading your story something very similar happened to my dad. And the pain is unbearable. I’ll be thinking of you and will light a candle for you Today x

[Heretotellthetale_ in reply to Pluto8]

I am so sorry to read this today. Hoping for peace for you all, especially your beloved Dad. Surround him and each other with love. Take care x

[Pluto8]

Tough. They were weaning him off and I got so excited because the nurses had planned it so I could be there for him, but he developed a high fever and they had put him in a very deep coma so it was safe for them to moved him to a hospital with the specialist liver unit so they could drain the abscess on the liver. I am going up to see him today. I am looking forward to that. The staff are lovely but I am a bit frustrated that certain tests haven't been done already. However since he was moved his bloods have got better and the kidney is almost back to healthy levels. My aunty went yesterday and she said his jaundice improved. Every time I get a call I think it is the worst. There are lots of ups and downs.