Hi there, I could really use some advice from those who have been through this. My husband was sedated for 3.5-4 days, and after waking up on a ventilator he is now going through ICU delirium. It’s been about 36h and he is doing well so far (already walking a bit, eating on his own, he knows who he is etc) but struggling with hallucinations and he’s worried about losing his job.
The staff won’t let me stay with him outside of visiting hours so I left his phone with him because he was so worried about being alone. I’ve watched a few patient experience videos that said how important it is to be reassured etc and I have been his lifeline through his phone. But he has messaged a few other people while delirious.
I am so worried that when his delirium clears he will hate me for letting him have his phone but I was afraid of making his delirium worse if I didn’t give it to him. I uninstalled a bunch of apps and such but he’s managed to get back into key ones. He’s also now on his phone worrying about jobs instead of sleeping. He hasn’t slept at all yet and I know sleep is so important to help recover from delirium sooner.
I don’t know what to do. Any advice is much appreciated.
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I can't offer any personal suggestions as my husband didn't suffer with delirium for most of his ICU stay and I had restricted visiting when he did have a bad experience.
CC-SN have a relative drop-in on line every Tues evening at 20:00 - you’d be more than welcome and others may be able to offer you some suggestions.
cc-sn.org/drop-in-meetings
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There is also information about delirium on the website which might be helpful.
I can only speak from personal experience, but for one, I would suggest surrounding him with familiarity - photos, etc. It is too soon to recount the full experience in detail, but if he asks about an event, real or imagined, tell him what really happened. Patients like us need a connection to reality (seeing family and friends, daily if possible) to separate the delusions from real experiences. Encourage him to sleep at night, and enjoy family time during the day.
For ICU staff - it can help tremendously for someone (nurse, etc) to frequently check in on ICU patients post-sedation when family are not able to be there, and don't be in a rush to check stats and leave. Even a couple of minutes of simple conversation about something other than O2 levels or "do you want the lights on or off?" can be a huge mental lift. When coming out of delirium, we need compassionate, understanding human interaction, not just medical intervention.
I would also suggest encouraging him to stay away from stressful activities - i.e. emphasize not worrying, and just focus on taking time to heal. Especially for us men, it is tempting to want to return to normal immediately. The sense of responsibility and job-satisfaction is normally beneficial, but in this case, it can be detrimental to recovery. I wanted to go home even before my trach was removed even though I couldn't even stand up, much less walk or take care of myself.
He is going to need time to recover. If possible, find a way to give him that time. I went back to work 3 months after leaving the ICU, and it was too soon, for me at least.
I don't know what to do my fiance wake up from ICU when he wakes up I wasn't there yet when I get there His ex girlfriend was there while the speech therapy was talking to us she went close to him and told him something after she call me and tell me you see what I told you he doesn't want to see you here I went close to him and ask him do you want me to leave the said yes.After that day didn't went back his family let his ex stay with him at night and all day I had it bring him some clothes because he started his rehab the aunt didn't want me to go to the hospital and told me that his ex gat him everything.And that she think is better I don't go there because she ask him two times if he want to see me he said no. HIS EX girlfriend told him before the accident sge had cancer and is going die soon from skin cancer but I find out that is a lie she doesn't cancer.I want to see him so bad but everyone knows if I go the woman is going cause problems they don't want that for him. Now he is in the state that he gets mad very easy how long it will take for him to recover his memory.What that woman told him can he think is for real.Does anyone know how many days I should wait to go see him and how I'm I can help him to let me see him Im scared he tell me he doesn't want me there what would be tgecrifhtvtime to wait to go see him
You are doing all the right things. I too was worried about my job, could not remember lots of things other than the delirium, the psychologist dedicated to ICU was a help, it took a few weeks to sort all this out in my mind.
Do keep talking, feelings that you could do more are entirely normal for relations of patients.
My husband suffered ITU delirium and also couldn’t sleep. I quite honestly found it very scary, scarier than the event that put him into ITU!nobody really spoke to me about it.
I just used to reassure my husband, I did leave his phone with him but he kept ringing all night so the staff had to take it off him. It eventually gets better and your husband will return to you. They used drugs to help my husband and when he came home he was weaned off them and has been ok ever since.
Yes Quetiapine. He was on weaning dose and had just three days left when he came out of hospital. He came off them fine and his delirium completely resolved.
Hi there. First of all do a urin test . This will give you some information. Or will exclude a possible infection. If is negative, you need to contact the GP. There might need some blood tests. There might need Antibiotics to treat an unknown infection.
I think the real dilemna here is the one that you isolated about letting him have his phone. Everyone’s circumstances are different. I am probably older than your husband as I have retired and therefore had no pressure as regards keeping a job. But the fact that he is that aware so soon after coming out of ICU is a really good sign. I was also in hospital over the first Covid lockdown and so the only time I had any visitors was saw me was when my wife came to see me when they rang her at 4 in the morning to tell her to come in and say good bye. But I was so ill and had no financial pressures that the question of phones never really arose. It has taken me two years to get over my operation and the ICU stay. I obviously don’t know what the position would have been if I had had visitors but from my point of view at the time I understood why I couldn’t have them as soon as I was aware enough to know whether Anyone was there or not. As regards your husband forgiving you for doing something that you regarded to be in his interests while we was not in an emotional state to make totally rational judgements. Well once I came round I accepted that my hallucinations were no more than that in a few weeks and would have accepted any decisions that my family had made and judged at the time to be in my interest. Of course there is no way of knowing whether your husband will,feel the same.But I realised that I had been in cloud cuckoo land a fairly soon after coming out of it. If your husband has a good employer it might be worth you getting in touch with them and explaining the position and see if they would get in touch with him to reassure him. Of course it is possible that he hasn’t got a good employer in which case you, he and the employers have to face the fact that he is going to take time to get over this and acknowledge that there is no way that he is going to be able to go back into work in anything like the condition he was in the week before he went into hospital.
Is it possible for you to speak to his employers and ask for reassurance that he will not lose his job? and that someone is covering for him until he's better? Maybe even to ask them to speak to him on the phone while you are with him?
Is it possible to set his phone so it can only make calls to you?
Hi there. I had a similar situation, when my husband was in TU, and had woken but had delerium. I have to remove lots of apps too, particularly shopping and banking ones as I was concerned about his decision making. He kept the phone with him and called me and a few others, often at anti-social hours, but overall it was reassuring for him to have it with him. The delirium passed in a few days, but the trauma associated with the delirium memories is still around some 8 months later and we are working through that. Nothing really here to help you, but just hang in there, it will take time, and I wish your husband a full recovery. Look after yourself too, you will have a long road ahead of needing to support him.
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