How to help someone come to terms with their icu delirium

[Ocjc]

hi, anyone received any good support from family members that helped them realise they were delirious? My partner currently firmly believes some dreadful things about me that he saw during an episode of delirium and I don’t know how I could ever convince him these things diddnt happen.

He’s had multiple episodes due to such a long hospital stay and I don’t even know what beliefs he holds onto- will he just realise things weren’t happening as he thought despite feeling so real?

I believe the more un realistic things he may realise diddnt happen ( absorbing metals and being kidnapped?) but things like being told things about me on the phone? How does he determine it feeling real but diddnt happen if that makes sense?

How do I support him in this?

[BlueTheCat]

I understand paranoia to be quite a common theme with delirium (I believed my family were trying to have me killed off!). It can be very hard to disentangle a person's perception of reality from the actual reality.

Does he know/believe he knows who told him these things? Are they a credible source? If they are friends or family, would they be able to talk with him and explain they didn't call, or the true nature of the conversation?

[Sepsur]

ICU delirium can cause some ‘memories’ to become imprinted, these remain stubbornly embedded - I have found the passage of time to be more helpful than anything. I was incredibly hostile to my wife at first, something that must appear unbearably cruel since you have waited at our bedsides expecting relief and an outpouring of love. Reassurance and consistency from my family helped to bring logic to the table too.

Your partner may need some professional help at a later date to help place episodes into the past - each of us learns to cope in our own way.

[Ocjc in reply to Sepsur]

Thankyou, it’s such a scary journey and I know for him things like pride etc will stop him from talking much about it.. he’s very private

I really do feel the strain that I am here living with him at the hospital and currently it seems as though he hates me so I hope he is able to move past this soon x

[Ocjc in reply to Sepsur]

I will try and encourage him to speak to the friend he supposedly heard this from, I’m not sure if he will sue to pride but I too think this may help! Thankyou

[Sepsur in reply to Ocjc]

there is an online drop-in tonight

7.30 cc-sn.org

[FamilyHistorian]

I was in a coma for just under 2 months. The hallucinations are very real in fact in that time I was living in another reality. I was convinced that rather than being treated in the QE I was in fact in a motor museum. When I started to come round I was taken around some of the hospital to show me where I was. It made no difference I knew where I was and no one would change my mind. I hope this gives you so idea about the effect of delirium. Because we are all different there is no one fix. Sepsur referred to CCS-N.

This where I went it is a relief to listen and talk to others and realise that you are not unique suddenly you find a group of people who understand and who in one degree or another have experienced similar dreams (realities). They meet every Thursday evening on zoom. Also there is a drop in for family and friends on a Tuesday evening.

It may be a bit too early for him but you may find it helpful to go to the Tuesday drop in.

Recovery for both the patient and family / friend takes time.

[Ocjc in reply to FamilyHistorian]

Thankyou for sharing this with me, I can’t imagine what it’s like but you all really give me hope that one day he will be able to open up about this experience ❤️

[BigH63]

Hi. This is my reply to some else that was asking a similar question

healthunlocked.com/icusteps...

[Ocjc in reply to BigH63]

Thankyou so much x