Following my dad’s fall at the beginning of March, he has been in ICU for two and a half weeks and is now being moved to a ward where we can visit.
What are your experiences of visiting someone in a coma? What kind of things do you do/say? What can I do/say that might be beneficial to him?
I was the patient and we are all different.
I would say this - don’t worry it will come naturally.
BUT because of the time I had been a coma I lived in my own reality and had my own experience and so he may say something he doesn’t mean , didn’t happen or doesn’t make any sense. I had difficulty remembering names etc so expect the unexpected on the other hand they may be no concern at all.
Take care
Thank you for sharing your experience. At this stage he is still in a coma - all I’ve been told is that he can probably hear but he may not remember anything from this time period. I’m sure you are right and that it will naturally flow, thank you for your advice.
I’d prepare yourself for your loved one’s weight loss & weakness.
I needed encouragement from my family. Hope it goes well.
It is the sight of him that I am a bit nervous about - I am the one who found him when he fell so that sight has been haunting me these past couple of weeks, I’m not sure if replacing that image with him unconscious in a hospital bed will be good or not. Thank you for your advice, I will certainly be mindful of this.
Just chat to him, tell him about your week - mundane as you like and tell him how well he is doing and how loved he is.
I went through this experience visiting my brother every day when he was in an induced coma. It is difficult for you I know but while he may not be able to respond he will be able to hear you and it will be reassuring and comforting for him that you are there. Try to talk to him as you would normally. I used to talk to my brother about our mum and dad his young children his wife and I used to read paper to my brother and ask the nurses to put the radio on when we weren’t there. I hope your Dad recovers. Best wishes.
Thanks for your suggestions, I might read through some of the sports news from the last couple of weeks as he used to keep up with that!
I wasn't able to visit my husband while he was in a coma but I did Skype every day. I tried to keep things positive and didn't talk about his illness apart from saying how well he was doing and to keep working hard on getting better.
I used to talk about what we had done that day. I was also lucky that Facebook memories was providing daily updates of a holiday we had been on 4 years prior to this so I was able to say each day where we had been and talked about memories of our holiday. I also asked friends and family to record video messages which I used to play (and saved on a shared drive so he could watch them when he woke up).
The messages from friends and family is such a fantastic idea! I never thought of that, I might put something like that together to play him - we are only allowed 2 visits per week and only 1 person per visit so video messages would be great!
My mom wasn't in a coma, but she was sedated and then continually sleeping for quite a while. I talked to her about my day, about the things going on in the world, normal things.
When I was doing a long visit (no one ever told me there was a time limit so I would be there for 4-6 hours sometimes) I would play her a playlist that our family put together and talk about the reason that song was on the list, or watch TV while holding her hand.
Hi, I'm sorry to hear that your Dad is in a coma. A couple of years my dad was in an induced coma due to severe pneumonia. I used to sit with him, talk about trivial things going on, play some of his favourite music, hold his hand etc.
I saw on one of your responses you are worried about what he will look like. All I can say is yes intially its a shock and upsetting, but once you've been for that first visit it gets easier.
Thankfully my dad came out of the coma and made a full recovery. He told me he remembers hearing my voice and remembers that I was squeezing his hand (he even squeezed it back a couple of times).
Just knowing that you are there makes all the difference. I think some people feel silly talking but honestly even if you read to him he will be able to hear you. I know how exhausting going through this can be, so please take care of yourself too.
I don't usually do this, but I wrote a blogpost about my experience visiting ICU here which might be useful to have a look at:
theturbulentmind.blogspot.c...
I hope your Dad recovers soon.
The best piece of advice one of the ICU nurses gave me was "It's important that you're emotional in front of your family, you don't have to try and hold it together all the time. They need to know it's OK to cry too. "
Hi there, thanks for your advice and thanks so much for sharing that blogpost, I will certainly read through that!
My dad is in artificial coma
Covid pneumonia. Whose loved one has recovered and come off ventilator?
Post induced coma recovery 
Sepsis shock induced coma
