Septic shock

[Bee808]

My partner has been in ICU for six days with septic shock affecting all organs and iGAS. He's still fully sedated but now able to come off some meds. He was already struggling with severe bronchiectasis, depression and PTSD before this. I arrived home from work and had to phone the ambulance. Blaming myself for missing the signs. Feeling very upset and anxious. Struggling to sleep. On the waiting list for emotional support. My partner only saw his family during the rare periods he was feeling well, so I'm the only one who knows how bad things were for him most of the time. I feel pressure from his family to act more hopeful than I feel as they (but not he or I) are evangelical Christians. Lots of other, complex family dynamics. Just wondered if anyone else can relate to any of this? Thanks.

[Sepsur]

we have a family drop-in this evening on zoom - you might find this really helpful / it’s people from every walk of life 💙

Email : [e-mail]

If you want details

cc-sn.org/drop-in-meetings

[Bee808 in reply to Sepsur]

Thank you.

[BigH63]

Hi.

Yes everyone on this forum can relate to the Hospital scenario, it’s a very trying time for you he’s journey will start from when he’s woken up.

Keep strong and most importantly keep well he’s going to need you more than ever.

Drop in to the session for family when you can. Tuesdays but also welcome on Thursdays but more for patients

Take care

[Bee808]

Thank you BigH63. I am slowly trying to accept the unavoidable waiting and uncertainty. I just know how hard things have been for my partner physically, emotionally and spiritually up to this point. I know him and how painful it would be for him to have to endure even more restrictions, challenges and indignities in his life. Hoping that I will eventually find the strength to continue supporting him for the rest of his journey, whatever that looks like.

[Copse77]

as BigH said the hard part will start when he wakes up. The drop in may really help you taking to people who can offer insights from their experience I hope your partner makes a good recovery.

[madonbrew]

Oh bless u, I'm also a Christian but also have multiple health problems and ended up in icu (for a severe asthma attack) and know the reality and scariness of clinical depression, ptsd and chronic ill health etc. I'm really sorry they're putting pressure u don't need on you! Your feelings are totally valid and normal!!! Really don't blame yourself for missing the signs...my dad had sepsis and was sent home from hospital too early 2 times so ended back in a 3rd time...what I'm trying to say, is it's really tricky sometimes to see the signs!

I really hope you find some support here! Sorry you and your partner are going through such a horrible time. The support I've found here has been amazing and a Godsend (excuse the irony 😂)

[madonbrew]

Ps...it's OK to have a good cry/shouting session....when you're somewhere safe! It's OK to feel angry with the situation.

[Bee808]

Thanks madonbrew. That's really helpful. My partner experienced a personal trauma 10yrs ago and we're both still very affected by it. I was already feeling overwhelmed this year with other responsibilities, so ICU feels like the cherry on the icing on the cake?! Hoping to get some mental health support via GP when we talk tomorrow. I've made one of my partner's relatives aware that the faith issue is adding stress. I've pulled back from trying to keep his relatives updated all the time and meeting their needs for reassurance. On the waiting list to see the hospital chaplaincy service. Be good to have that input. Need to make resus decision today for a tracheostomy. Had a massive vent with a consultant yesterday about all the issues so feeling more understood and supported about my position now. Been going for a walk in the woods each day, headphones on singing (badly, loudly) along to the music. Had a few strange looks from dog walkers but it helps! x

[madonbrew in reply to Bee808]

I did have a giggle at your singing badly, loudly...my mum's currently in hospital and we too are having to decide on DNR thing, and my brain is addled, so I got in my car and went for a drive (it's my safe space) and I screamed so loudly that I thought to myself, if anyone hears me, they'll be calling the police 🚔 😅It sounds like you've both had a lot to deal with in life and no wonder ICU feels like the cherry on the cake!!! ICU is a huge thing to deal with...as a patient, and family I imagine!! Just that on its own is more than plenty to deal with, let alone all the other stuff that you've been coping with already!

I really hope some MH support for you comes soon! And I'm really glad you were able to vent to the consultant!

I have learnt in life, that looking after ourselves is really important, as much as looking after everyone else (an ex committed people pleaser here!!) , so I'm glad you are taking a step back with your partners family to look after yourself too.

If you ever want to, feel free to send me a pm, but everyone here is really supportive and understanding 💖

[Bee808 in reply to madonbrew]

Thanks again, madonbrew. Very kind of you. Sorry to hear about your mum. DNR is such a challenging thing to have to make a decision about. Agree self-care is so important, particularly in situations like ours. 🌻