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ICUsteps
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Worried

Hi I’m new to this site and may ramble so sorry .my daughter 26 is in icu in induced coma with lung problems she was coping fine until fri when thing went down hill .drs say one thing they are very blunt nurses say another ive begged the drs to save her don’t know what to do

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I’m sorry to hear what you are going through - your daughter,I’m sure, will be receiving the best treatment and she is in the best place in ICU. I appreciate that you are on the most diabolical emotional rollercoaster. One minute they give hope and the next second they take it away.

My family were told to talk to me & reassure me that I would be ok. Although I don’t remember what they said, I was aware that they were close ( being sedated is confusing for all).

They were told to rest & eat properly because it was no good them falling apart because I would need them when I woke. icusteps.org has a good deal of advice & information for relatives & patients. I hope your daughter improves soon.

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Thank you so much x

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I was 28 when I was placed in an induced coma for sepsis. Icu has some of the best staff in the world and are the experts in these types of issues. The drugs will most likely make it so she won’t remember much of what is going on but being there and speaking to her can make her delirium a bit better.

Taking care of yourself as Sepsur said is very important, you have to be in your best condition so you can help your daughter in her icu recovery. Once she wakes up she will have a long recovery and will need all the support and love you can give her but as hard as it will be for her the rollercoaster will be as hard for you. So please make sure your support system of friends and family know what’s going on because you will need support too.

If there is anything you want to know, I’d be happy to answer as best I can.

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Thank you .i do sit and talk to her every time I go in just hoping she can hear me .its so hard one day no change the next the drs are saying she won’t make it she has two children that im trying to act normal round just in a daze but thank you for taking time to answer me

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I was 38 when I was put into a coma and my husband told I would not last the night. I’m still here 3 years on.

She will be fighting, her body will be putting itself in preservation mode, and the body is the most wonderful thing.

Sending you all our love, do keep us updated. The docs do have to be brutally honest, and whilst the situation is bleak, she is in the best possible place.

D xx

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You so much x

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The Drs have to say what their experience tells them, my parents where told 5-6 times that I was going to die. There is a ‘Dr Death’ in everyone’s icu stay who says the patient isn’t going to make it. You know your daughter and you know what kind of fighter she is.

As I said please try and take care of yourself as best you can.

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I also want to add to what others have said and reassure you. My younger brother was in CCU and ICU a year ago now when his youngest child was 6. It was a rollercoaster of being told he would not survive to him having brain damage being the worst case- over time he has made a good recovery and does not have brain damage. He is a clever chap working in the medical field himself. The day my brother texted me struggling to use his fingers while on a rehab ward was wonderful. Your daughter is going to be reassured by your presence and talking to her, and the best advice we were given by one kind consultant was remain hopeful. Try to keep a timeline just noting a few things each day. It will help you to remain positive on the bad days if you remind yourself of the small positive improvements you have seen -for us it was thinks like the doctor shouting his name and him opening his eyes briefly.

It is the hardest situation to go through and deeply traumatic to see your daughter suffering. I can tell you one year on my brother is so much better and healthier. Thinking of you and your daughter and her children.

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Thank you so much

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Ji I know & understand exactly what you mean about the doc been blunt, they told me last year my partner (now ex) wouldnt come through next 24hr on 3 seperate occasions & I ask them one time "did you ever have a patient so ill who recovered) he simply told me he never had a patient as ill & didnt see it posible for her to fight back & recover. Obviously it was devastating at the time but the nurses were more positive & told me not to give up ect. My ex had pneumonia & then sepsis which caused mass organ failure & spent just over 4 months in a coma but did eventually manage to fight back come off ventilator and leave icu to go on to complete her rehabiliation programme & her organs have recovered. I know now that the doc are under instruction to always prepere you for the worst so that not t give false hope unless they are 100% the patient is starting & going to recover so I know its hard right now but keep believing & sitting with your daughter hold her hand & talk to her tel her hiw loved she how much ppl missin her & cant wait for her to be well enuf to move wards & be able to visit & keep telking her how she is strong, doing well & a fighter I was told by doc she prob couldn't hear me & even though she has no memory of things I said she says she remembered hearing my voice & Iam certain it helped her brain while unconscious. Stay strong yourself and I really hope u get better, positive news soon, kirk x

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Thank you so much

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Hi,

I’m with my dad in icu, it’s such a scary place and it’s a total roller coaster. I’m finding the Docs are bleak but the nurses are more hopeful. I hope all goes well for you xx

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Thank you and the same for you .its a awful situation to be in x

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Hi Worriedmummabear, I was in ICU back in November and my children were told I wouldn’t make it ....and here I am! I stopped breathing at work and was intubated for 30 hours. Unfortunately, anyone in ICU needs intensive support and thankfully, as mentioned before, this care is generally the best you are going to get. It’s a very scary experience for all involved but it is important to try to think and stay positive as your daughter will need your strength and support during recovery. Thinking of you and sending love to your daughter for her recovery xx

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Thank you so much

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Hi I was put in a coma as I had sepsis and multi orgam failure. When I woke up I had amnesia. I couldn't even remember me or my family. They prepared my family to accept I would pass but I didn't! It took a long time to recover. I'm almost back to normal. Lots of physical therapy. You definitely need to take care of you. I hope and pray for you and your family.

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