Not looking hopeful..: My nephew is in ICU for four... - ICUsteps

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Not looking hopeful..

Tini profile image
Tini
13 Replies

My nephew is in ICU for four weeks now. He is 32 yrs old. Originally he said they said he had pancreatitis then they told us he was septic. They keep doing procedures on him and his stomach is open to clean it out. He is hardly conscious as they have him very sedated. Two weeks ago I asked if he was still septic and they said no. He wasn't on any Antibiotics. Then they put this mesh in his stomach about 10 days ago and he is having more problems since then. Now he started bleeding And they are having trouble stopping it. They Told my sister that she should get his affairs in order and consider that she may have to take him off the machines.this is so sad.

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Tini profile image
Tini
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13 Replies
dbyeti profile image
dbyeti

Tini, I am so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what Your Family is going through. 32 is awfully Young. My husband was in ICU for more than four weeks, and eventually recovered to pretty much where he was before (then repeated the Whole thing but that's another story), but when the Medical team are giving such advice to Your sister then it's hard to be optimistic. Thinking of you all and hope you manage to look after yourselves through this.

Skysie profile image
Skysie

Hi Tini - in 2009 I spent 8 months in hospital with necrotising pancreatitis - 2 of those months in ICU. I had 14 operations in those 2 months clearing out dead tissue. Had sepsis and a few of the super bugs. It is an extremely serous condition and my family were told a few times that I might not make it as well. I did come through it (obviously 😊) and have a good quality of life albeit with a less energy.

I never had mesh put in so can't comment on that.

Such a hard thing for you and his family to be going through - you are very much in my thoughts at this time.

MikeA profile image
MikeA

Hi Tini, so sorry to hear about your nephew. Like Skysie I had necrotising pancreatitis (4 years ago now), and similar to both of you my wife and parents were told to expect the worst (especially on one night where my illness truly peaked) several times. Don't give up hope. I wish all your family the best.

l1amg profile image
l1amg

Hi Tini,

This is a terrible situation. I was in ICU with necrotising pancreatitis for two weeks and at one stage the doctors advised that my family should travel to say good bye... However, my wife kept talking to me, kept on encouraging me to get better and she never gave up hope. Keep talking to him, tell him to hold on, talk to him about all the things he will do in his amazing future. Hold on to hope. Keep talking to him and never give up on him. Even through sedation he may hear enough to know you are there encouraging him to hold on.

You'll be in my thoughts today. I'll have my fingers crossed and for what it's worth I'm praying for you.

Liam

BBDEBS profile image
BBDEBS

Oh Tini, I'm so very sorry to read your story. My family were told on 13th Feb this year that I was going to die, but I'd told my mum, dad and husband years earlier that if EVER I was in a coma, not to turn the damn machines off because I'd be in there, fighting it, and I'd haunt them!! It was all said in jest, then bugger me, I had swine flu, double pneumonia, sepsis and cardiac arrest. I'm 38 years old and the bread winner in my family. My husband panicked about how would he pay the mortgage, I didn't have life insurance or critical illness cover and the LAST thing I'd want is for him to be worrying about this too.

I was in a coma for 2 weeks and each case is unique. Please know your nephew's age is massively on his side and the ICU team will be throwing everything at him, because he is so young. I got far more chances at life due to my age.

I completely understand the medical staff urging your family to get his affairs in order, it's the last thing he'd want you to be worrying about. You're in my thoughts and prayers, never underestimate the power of prayer.

With love,

Debs

Renusaini9 profile image
Renusaini9

Hi Tini,

I am so sorry to hear about your nephew. My aunt recently had a cardiac arrest, respiratory failure and multiple organ failure. We were told at the outset that she may or may not make it that we just had to see. I think the ITU want to give you realistic expectations about what could happen- it doesn't mean it will.

My aunt is 54 and the odds were against her yet the consultants / nurses and medical staff worked endlessly to keep her with us. In the space of two weeks they have got her kidneys working again and have reduced her breathing machine down. Your nephew is very young so that's a positive in terms of how he may respond to treatment as if he was healthy before then that is also a plus.

I would take every day as it comes and prepare for the worst but hope for the best. I really hope that he stabilises and in terms of being septic, one of the biggest problems of being in ITU for too long is that you are more prone to infections. My aunt was given 8 types of antibiotics for different infections that seemed to pop up. The ones she has right now have dropped her infection markers down significantly- I hope in the case of your nephew they can control any infection and stop the bleeding and keep him stable. My thoughts are with you xx

Tini profile image
Tini

Thank you all so much for you insight and guidance. I will pass your words along to my sister. Hopefully they will give her some encouragement. Thank you again for all your prayers and support.

Tini profile image
Tini

Well things started to look a bit better as the bleeding was slowing down. They are still replacing the material with the clotting agent in my nephews stomach. Unfortunately today when they took him to surgery they said that his gall bladder was necrotic so they had to remove it. They said they took out whatever they could. Not feeling to good about it. What happens to the necrotic piece they didn't get? I read it can cause gangrene.

BBDEBS profile image
BBDEBS in reply to Tini

I'm so sorry I don't know. How is he today? Xx

Tini profile image
Tini

We are still waiting for results of more cat scans. He needs additional meds got blood pressure because the one they are giving him is not enough. This is very sad. Hopefully the doctors in this hospital know what they are doing

Tini profile image
Tini

The other night the Drs told us that there is no hope. They thought he would pass that night. Then his blood pressure went up a bit and they did surgery the next morning. They removed part of the pancreas and plan to do it again tomorrow. Not even sure what to think anymore

Fetticino34 profile image
Fetticino34

Always hope where there is life. I've seen a young woman 16 years of age brought in with her boyfriend 18 yes old. Car crashed early morning on icey road. He was decapitated. They said she was 'brain dead' and waited the parents arrive to switch off the machines. Long story. But I return to the ICU weeks later. Was an Easter Sunday. Again cannot forget. A young beautiful woman wearing glasses sitting up talking to her parents. I assumed the other had died or been moved with what I was told would have to be severe brain damage. Something happened that first day to change orders for switching off life support. The 'brain dead' young woman was now sitting up talking to parents. So I never give up hope. Prepare certainly. Not that we can 'prepare' for death of family. I have seen a lot of death in life and NOTHING could prepare for shock to system of the final breaths of my father and then younger brother less than two years later. I hope things might improve for him. Take one day at a time. God bless all family.

Hutch1972 profile image
Hutch1972

Hi Tina, do not give up hope. My 40 yr old wife is still in the ICU right now with terrible pneumonia complicated by having MRSA in her lungs as well. a week and a half ago they called me at work and told me to come to the hospital as soon as I could and to tell any other loved ones to head there too. She was, and still is, in a medically induced coma with the machines keeping her alive. Nothing they tried worked to help her out. So i feel we were basically heading to the hospital to say goodbye. They then told me there was one more last ditch effort they wanted my permission to try, ECMO. It is a heart and lung bypass machine that removes the blood from the body, oxygenates it, and then pumps the blood back thru the body. This allows the lungs and heart to rest and try to heal. It only has a 30% - 50% chance of working. My wife is very stubborn and a hell of a fighter and she made it thru. Her lungs are now working, a little. It was a great b-day present for me.

Sorry i am rambling, but it feels good to get it out. What i am trying to tell you is just because they call you in and tell you to get his affairs in order does not mean it is over and you should give up. I think part of the reason they do it is to cover their asses. Even if they think there is a slight chance that it might turn out bad they want you to be there. It would be terrible if they did not play it safe and someone's loved one passed away and they were not there.

So don't count your nephew out. He is obviously a fighter and will hopefully pull thru. My thoughts and hopes are with you and your family. Have faith and stay positive.

Sicerely,

Marc

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