Hi to you all. Sorry I haven't been in touch for such a long time. It has been a very hard year. I have never seen so much water in my life. In fact speaking to old shepherds here, 70+ years, and they have never seen anything like it. The water falls out the sky constantly, and due to 100% saturation, comes back up out the ground, as path of least resistance. Mud everywhere. Machines stuck in fields through July, still stuck in august, and still falling over while trying to walk dog on what used to be a grass field, now reduced to porridge. Even Darach, the dog, trudged through his first summer of life with his head down. Thousands of pounds lost in business, machines costing more to fix as they struggle to work harder in the conditions..............and then it snowed...........the longest winter on record, starting April 2012, and now just beginning to wain, under a hopeful and optimistic march sun........could this really be spring??
It has been hard, and I suffer from depression, wether Hughes' related or not, it does grind you down. If you don't suffer from depression, and you are working land, then you probably do have it now. This coupled with recession, which keeps coming back to bite us, has just been the icing on a very sour cake. Not a happy laddy! However, we struggle on, and to be honest I have spent months just not wanting to talk to anyone, hence my abscence. Also things that should take 3 hours, take 5, because of the conditions. Having Hughes' and battling this has had its own issues. I am constantly exhausted, and lack any motivation. Another reason for my silence.
My foot is giving me problems, just as I am about to start lambing, and I could well do with a wee break. BUT DO YOU KNOW THIS....? I happened to nip on to the community page this morning, to blog a bit, and read of others with their troubles, and that in itself gives you a feeling of not being alone in this world, with the cursed aps....Jet, having to face his op, and associated complications; Suzy has had her world turned upside down, and has to cope emotionally and physically with hughes' as well as the effects of her problems................and do you know this, I feel as if I want to reach out and give her a massive hug, and support her all the way. I want to give Jet a great pat on the back, and help him get through the medical problems giving him such grief..........just to name a couple; and my problems are just part of this nasty situation we are all in, which occassionally collides catastrophically with our daily lives.
Yet, here we all are, all held together with one common problem; one terrible cloud that hangs above us all, even when the sun does shine, it can be grey in our world. Very few understand the stoney silence we have all come to accept as the best course of conversation to those who do not suffer.
"They do not want to hear my problems again, they cannot comprehend them anyway", .......how many times have you said that to yourself?
Well, here, you can. And here people listen, and more importantly understand what you are going through. Maybe not the personal life situations, but the feelings of despair and loneliness are all too common among us, and that thread is the yarn, that spins the wool, which knits the big jersey we all feel safe in......this, the Hughes' Syndrome Community. Thank you all for being there, and I am sorry I haven't been there as much for you. And with lambing round the corner, it could be a while before I get back. But just remember, we all get the emails, and we all know any issues current, and I am thinking of you all.
Should the sun come out, may the wind blow that terrible grey cloud away, if only for a while. Let all of us feel its warmth, on our faces, and our backs for just a moment. And remember, we are glad to be here, and with friends and contacts like those on this forum....what better reason than to take strength from others, and enjoy those rays of sunshine. Have some hope. And when that grey cloud rolls back in....we are always here for us all.
Take care every one.