Church Ladies With Typewriters
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank Goodness for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
were announced at church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermontonight:'
Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummagesale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is
Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast
next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please
use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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And this one just about sums them all up
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan
last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'