Your therapeutic laugh for the day: - Hughes Syndrome A...

Hughes Syndrome APS Forum

10,414 members10,623 posts

Your therapeutic laugh for the day:

GinaD profile image
5 Replies

Church Ladies With Typewriters

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank Goodness for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or

were announced at church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

--------------------------

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.

Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

--------------------------

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermontonight:'

Searching for Jesus.'

--------------------------

Ladies, don't forget the rummagesale. It's a chance to get rid of those

things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

--------------------------

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

--------------------------

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a

nursery downstairs.

-----------------

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

--------------------------

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the

church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

--------------------------

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is

Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

--------------------------

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of

several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

--------------------------

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased

person you want remembered..

--------------------------

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment

and gracious hostility.

--------------------------

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

--------------------------

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They

may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

--------------------------

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across

from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

--------------------------

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation

would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast

next Sunday.

--------------------------

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please

use the back door.

--------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the

Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to

attend this tragedy.

--------------------------

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double door at the side entrance.

--------------------------

And this one just about sums them all up

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan

last Sunday:

'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Written by
GinaD profile image
GinaD
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
5 Replies
Lure2 profile image
Lure2

Thank you Gina!

I was laughing loud here. We really need you!

Kerstin

Natura profile image
Natura

Gina....I don't know you....but you just got me out of some sadness....thanks for the laughter!

Ozchick profile image
Ozchick

This gave me a great laugh :)

Tranquility1 profile image
Tranquility1

Wonderful!

loretta1106 profile image
loretta1106

Than you for the laughs- unbelievably funny!

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Back to the machines

After a couple of not so good instances . a few of my Doc's have decided it's time for a MRA...
jetjetjet profile image

Upping therapeutic range

Hi, my therapeutic range has been set at 2 - 3. I asked my heamatologist if we could aim for the 3...

Plans for the weekend

Hi Just thought I'd drop a positive blog about life with APS and a Kidney Transplant (almost 9...

The day hase arrived

Finally -yesterday i got my Pre op- instuctions{ not till 3:30 in the P.M.] and they were not...
jetjetjet profile image

how important is a therapeutic INR

I know this is going to sound dumb, but . . . I live in a low population state. I was one of the...
GinaD profile image

Moderation team

See all
KellyInTexas profile image
KellyInTexasAdministrator
MaryF profile image
MaryFAdministrator
HollyHeski profile image
HollyHeskiAdministrator

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.