My therapist, just recently, changed my diagnosis from PTSD to complex PTSD. I’m still trying to process this complex thing. Trying to figure it out some. And I got to thinking that I have stages of waking up. Kind of like others have stages of falling asleep. I would like to share this with you all:
1. The alarm gets me. Usually, out of a nightmare. Nightmare isn’t real. Take some deep breaths. Nightmare really isn’t for real. I’m safe. Gotta get the alarm off; it’s annoying.
2. Getting out of bed. Have to put feet on the ground and sit up. A little vertigo. Some more deep breaths. Feet go on floor. Then I decide if they can hold me up or if I need to do more things to get my legs and feet working.
3. Standing up, a little stretching, and walking - More vertigo. More deep breaths. Legs are holding me up. I don’t need to fall back on the bed.
4. Turning the alarm off and deciding - get coffee, Gatorade, medications, or lay back down and repeat
Stage four often dictates what I do from there. If my heart is racing, then laying back down is a must. Maybe even take my medications too. If my muscles are very very sore and I’m having trouble stretching them out then laying back down is the only way to go. If making coffee is to complicated then to heck with it I’ll just lay back down, but turn the snooze off.
It can take anywhere from 45 minutes to a hour and 15 minutes to complete all four stages, so just getting up and ready for work is an ordeal. When I’m not going to work then it’s still an ordeal; just a different one
That’s just the gist of it. Things are a little more complex. And I’m still trying to figure things out. Can I ask if this is common? Do others have issues like mine? If you don’t want to say then of course that’s fine. Processing this complex thing will take some time, so thank you all for permitting me to share this.
Written by
1Mechanic
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I’ve never thought of it as stages. I mostly wake up without an alarm. when I first awake I have this brief window where things seem ok and I’m really level. it doesn’t last long and everything floods at me at once. I can’t fall back asleep. I take my meds and try to acclimate to my anxiety and depression which takes all day.
Thank you for sharing the process you go through to begin your day, This may resonate with many members.
This past week I was discussing something similar with my therapist.
For many years I went through a process of anxiety and fear if I had to do something. I would have to sit for 2 hours before making a move. I was nauseous and light headed. I didn't want to open that door and go out.
I've stated in the past that I have many years of therapy under my belt. Over time these feeling slowly began to lessen in intensity.
This past year they are gone. I said to my therapist... is this how " normal people " live? They don't have to think before they begin their day? They don't feel stressed over what the day will bring? They just smoothly get going?
I started to cry. I can get up, drink my coffee, get dressed and go to work. No extensive thoughts or physical symptoms. I can head to the grocery store without plotting my next move.
My hope for you is that through your therapy you will be able to transition as well.
Keep pushing . We can live with PTSD and it doesn't have to control our every move
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