Worst day off my life.

[julieljs10]

5 months ago 2 of my children were involved in a road traffic accident. Both acquired head/brain injuries. MY daughter 9 suffered a fractured skull, and has left her struggling back at school, and my son now 11, is still waiting to have 2 large areas of his skull replaced. Both children air lifted to hospital, and lay side by side in intensive care. The scary part for me is not knowing what the future holds for these two children and for us as a family. Nobody has answers.

[maggiekell]

my heart goes out to you but im afraid i dont have the answers. nearly 4 yrs ago 3 of my children were in a car crash age 8, 15 and 21. the 15 yr old suffered brain injury and the eldest lost her baby. the youngest had whiplash and severe ptsd. all i can say is you have a long hard road ahead but you will get there, they may not be quite the same children you had before the accident but you do still have them, remind yourself of that. make sure you have someone you can cry to when needed because it takes a huge toll on you being strong for them all the time. push really hard for specialist help with the school as they sometimes find the problems caused by brain injury very hard to understand and dont always handle it as they should. lets face it, who does understand until we are forced to in this way, i know i didnt. research as much as you can, i found learning as much as i could helped me to help her. i wish you all the best and wish i could offer you more than this xxx

[TC1979]

I don't know what to say. I feel for you coz of what has happened to your "babies" at such a critical time. My head injury was when I was 20 so can't really offer but guidance. There are loads of people on here so a few will be able to offer some from their point of view. Headway chip in sometimes with assistance too. Hopefully they will notice that this is one of the more serious topics and not a debate and add something.

[Lubilu01]

Oh my goodness, what a dreadful thing to happen. I cannot imagine what you have been going through. The hardest thing about a brain injury is the not knowing and nobody can tell you what the outcome will be. I sincerely hope your children recover well and my thoughts are with you x

[spideyman]

Ill say a prayer for them x

[bikerlifestyle]

my heart goes out to you and like the others have said not knowing is a real struggle

there is not much i can add that the others haven't already said, just remember that you can off load here, or talk about worries and concerns, we may not have the answers you want or need, but we do understand.

[ncmurphy1951]

as a father who once saw hi 8 year old son crash into a speeding motor bike fortunatley he just bounced off i cannot begin to imagine what horror you are going through but all the comfort i can offer is that the recent advances in brain surgery and child care has greatly improved a friend a surgeon at manchester royal infirmary

to me i know any compensation wont make your children better but it may well make their and your life more comfortable i have a schoolfriend who specialises in no win no fee he got my son £1500 for a fractured foot you could be looking at tens of thousands here if you want me to put you in touch please private message me.

[comment edited slightly by admin]

[cat3]

There are few things,if any,as heartbreaking as what you are going through. I am not religious but I will go to bed tonight with prayers in my mind for you and your children.

Please stay in touch Best wishes, cat x

[Jigsaw]

So very sorry, I cannot imagine what you are going through, please talk on here.

Thinking of you all, Linda x

[headwayuk Partner Headway]

Hi julieljs10,

Thank you for your post, and I am so sorry to hear of this situation.

The Child Brain Injury Trust and Cerebra are two charities that offer excellent support to children who have sustained a brain injury, and their parents.

You can find out more about the services they offer at:

childbraininjurytrust.org.uk/

cerebra.org.uk/

As you describe there are very few answers in the early stages and this is extremely difficult to deal with. For this reason it is vital that you get the best possible support, and any necessary rehabilitation for your children. With this in place things can hopefully start to move forward and they will make the best possible recovery.

I am sure the above charities will be able to assist you directly, and please don't hesitate to post any further questions or issues on here.

Best wishes,

Headway.

[Aelfwyn in reply to headwayuk]

Good on you, Headway.

[zainey-lainey]

i only hope the saying that children are resiliant is true and hope that children repair better than us oldies is a true fact too! Take each day at at time my love.You have so come to the right place.x

[Aelfwyn]

As a mum to two boys similar in age to your children, my heart was in my mouth reading your post. I am so sorry you are all going through this dreadful situation. After any accident I guess it's a matter of giving thanks for what you have - sounds trite but sometimes it helps in the dark times, eg. they are still here with you, they still need and love their mum.

Only thing I can suggest from my own experience of brain injury is, speak up for what you need. (Sometimes the medics are just too busy to think of what might help you, or they are not aware of it. That's where Headway is so helpful.) Don't worry about being thought a pain, just make a fuss until you get the support you need. Remember that bodies like Citizen's Advice and Victim Support might be able to help with practicalities. And come here whenever you need to, there is good moral support here.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

[Danslatete]

My heart aches for you, but lets face it that is not going to help in the slightest. I hope the (9year old has enough rest time in the day because believe me sometimes the fatigue hits like a wall and you take nothing in at all. Schools are busy and noisey places, lots of visual input and audio input without even starting learning. I hope that you have a social worker that specialises in aquired brain injury that can keep on at the school. Even when they mean to give you the world, with the budget restrictions it is not possible.

My school is a resource school meaning we have 2 extra learning support staff and 1 extra assistant. Although this sounds great in reality we get more than a fair share of additional needs kids because of the extra staff, and they are on top of the children already in the school with extra needs that dont have a 'diagnosis' of anything.

I hope that your children have the very best recovery possible.

[julieljs10 in reply to Danslatete]

We had a big meeting at school yesterday with alot of professionals. My son hasnt made it back to school yet, My daughters ability at school has been affected massively. I will not sit back and let them get forgotten, its such an important time. The school has to step up now and not let us down, also the local authority. We have had to fight for alot of things along this dreadful journey, living in a rural area is an disadvantage because the services are just not there. I will press every button possibly to make sure they get the best chance of recovery. Thanks everybody for your messages

[Danslatete in reply to julieljs10]

Good for you, please dont push your kids to quickly into fulltime mainstream as it might make it harder in the long run. I too live in a rural area, rural schools ( or inland as we are called, the others are coastal) There may be a case for some learning at home too, i cant imagine how difficult that will be as a child, i had a hard time coping but they do say children are resilient.

[leeleeleelee]

im sorry for your situ

it it sad that your nippers went through this thing

i would make most of second chance they got

mums do love im sure theyll be fine/and hope youll be fine as well

good luck kids

sounds like could have been worse but wasnt

keep going mum dad kids

[julieljs10]

Yes we are very lucky to have both children still here. But still feel very angry and bitter that it happened and how much it has changed our lives. While in hospital got told our lives will never be the same again, you don't really take that in at the time, but certainly realise now what they meant.

[davesdad]

It is true that nobody knows what the future holds for your family but please, please don't think that the outlook is completely black.

My wife and I have experienced those feelings you have now and the worry of not knowing how far our child would recover, if he recovered at all. I guess that at the moment all you can see is a grey wall of uncertainty - the professionals can't really help with that because they don't know the long term outcome anymore than you do.

These are really early days and for a long time the anger, bitterness and sadness at the loss of the future that you had planned will sometimes creep up on you no matter how positive you try to be. You are likely to be suffering from post traumatic stress even if you weren't in the accident, so watch out for that and don't ignore the need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. When people say "...if there is anything I can do" they usually mean it so give them something to do if you can - shopping, washing or whatever.

But what I really want you to know is that looking back over the last 6 years since David's accident I can see that there have been amazing highlights and achievements too. Though I know it seems hard to believe at the moment, it is very possible that you will get real pleasure in the coming years from seeing your children do things that a few months ago you were afraid that they would never be able to do.

It is great to read that you are fighting for the best for them, keep up on that.

I am not going to kid you, you are on a long and difficult journey where there will be up's and downs - two steps forward and one back, but that does keep you moving forward even if it is frustratingly slowly. You are only just starting out and the uncertainty from the medics does mean that the eventual outcome might not be a bad as you fear..... Please don't give up hope,

God Bless,

[Dorsetcharlie]

What an awful situation; I am thinking of you and your family. Remember that you are stronger than you could ever imagine, but don't forget to ask for help.

Charlie x