I got my TBI in 2005, when I fell off my bicycle in France. I am officially 'blind', as a result of that accident. I'd say 'partially sighted', but the doctors say I'm blind. When I look straight forward, into a mirror, I can see my left eye, but not my right eye. The right half of my vision is completely gone. If I look towards the right, I can see it all, but it's missing if I look forwards.
I have always tended to wave my right arm up and down occasionally, just because I knew I couldn't see it. 'Yup. Still missing."
I think I can see it a little bit better now. I am always thinking, "Did I *always* see the vague white shape of my hand? I think I did that time. It's only vague, but..." "Didn't *all* of the right side of my face look black? Now I can sort-of see a darker smudge, for my eye-socket..." "I am sure I didn't used to see my right arm moving up and down, but now I do. Look!"
I am almost certainly imagining it all, and hoping that I see improvement that isn't really there is very silly. My eyesight has probably been this 'good' for years and years, now. I mean, I think any improvement after a brain injury happens in the first few years.
I was really unlucky to have that accident in the first place, but I'm really VERY lucky to have recovered as well as I have. OK, I don't remember my 8-year-old being a baby, I didn't even know she was mine, but I love her to pieces, now. My balance is still far from perfect, but hey, a few years ago, when I went to work, I *had* to hold the bannister on the wide stair, coming down from the train station. Today, I *choose* to walk down the middle, proudly, just because I *can*. My speech is still blurry-slurry, but I cope well enough (and my job is as a university lecturer, so it can't be that bad, but it's not the same as it was pre-accident). I am really lucky to have recovered so well (hey, I was lucky not to die, really!). I am *so* much better than I could have been. But it's silly of me to hope that I can still see some improvement in my vision, isn't it? I will only disappointed when I accept that I'm imagining it. It's too late for me still to be improving.
Am I going mad ?
What am I?
Double vision after tbi
