Problems many years after my TBI

[Flumptious]

This is just me feeling sorry for myself. I know I am really lucky to have recovered as well as I have, and done all the things I have done, but still… 

I had my TBI in 2005. I had to take 18 months off from my job, as a university lecturer, but I did go back, and was there for ten years, but then the department was closed down. I moved into working in administration (as I knew that nobody would give me another job as a lecturer, now that I am ‘blind’, and have a really blurry voice). 

I had one job for a couple of years, but I decided that I wanted to do administration in universities instead, so I left that job. Unfortunately the next two jobs I had, university-based admin, both said that I did not pass my probation, so I only did 9 months at each. 

My current job is on a three-month contract. My boss says he wanted to extend it, but he has not been given the money, so I will have to finish this week. I have had lots of interviews, but none of them have offered me a job.

I have another tomorrow, and also on Friday. But I am not very hopeful. Clearly I am doing badly at all my interviews. I am just feeling useless and nervous and sorry for myself.

Sorry, I just wanted a bit of a moan!

[Flumptious]

Oh yes, I forgot to say what I had *meant* to say - I have a *really* painful hip and ankle, which the doctor thinks is due to my poor balance, due to the TBI! The pain in my hip and ankle didn't kick in until ten years after the accident. It hurts to walk, and I *have* to walk - I can't drive, as I am 'blind'. I'd say partially-sighted, but hey, the doctors say blind, so I get free bus travel, which is great, except that there aren't many useful bus-routes round here!

[RogerCMerriman in reply to Flumptious]

I get or can get sore hips from walking which I’ve assumed is due to my vestibular system being fairly foobar. To be fair more aches than painful as such. I’m also quite slow considering my age/fitness/size.

I think all things considered your doing rather well!

[robertbob]

Sounds like u have done everything possible to make the best of the situation that u got presented with. I think the employment environment in universities is pretty precarious in general and I would imagine particularly hard if you have had a TBI. imo is completely natural to "feel sorry for self". I think its a form of self-care and so a positive thing. Hope interviews go well.

bw

R

[cat3]

So sorry your morale has taken such a battering Flumpy. I had to leave the job of my dreams, leaving behind the countless co-workers, clients, folk from associated organisations, and most of all the daily new challenges. I clearly remember the pang of loss and emptiness knowing such a massive part of my life was over.

I've gleaned over the years what a gutsy lady you are and how you've fought to remain in your cherished line of work, so just thinking of your predicament feels gut churning. It's hard enough for sighted folk, who drive, so you're quite something !

For me it became a matter of acceptance and an alternative lifestyle but, failing that, I really hope your persistence will be rewarded with a compatible employer. Let us know how you're getting on won't you Flumpy .......and look after yourself.

Cat x

[Jill777]

I do feel sorry for you my only advice is dont give up applying for jobs. Best of luck to you x