adjusting to a new way of life

[sugly]

My husband suffered a traumatic brain injury after an accident at work almost two years ago. This is the first time I have ever used a blog. I am just going to leave it at that for now and post up more as the time goes on. Its good to see a place where you can share your thoughts, ideas and experiences at any time night or day. It is brilliant to be able to get out to groups and meet people, but quite often, in the dead of night when no one can hear you, my thoughts can be the loudest, so to be able to get them out into a blog is cool, I'm hoping it may at last help me get a good nights sleep.

[SpirallingUp]

Hi Sugly, my thoughts are with you x I think a forum would be a great idea where brain injury survivors and relatives can chat day or night x

[maggiekell]

hi sugly, i wish you and your husband all the best. my daughter suffered a tbi in a car crash 3 1/2 years ago so i know how hard it is too adjust. we knew nothing about tbi or its many symptoms and have had a long road of learning.

[pixie2308]

Hi Sugly, thought with you both. I agree about the noise of the night time thoughts and the random nature that they take. I want to scream and shout some days but no one would listen; I am lucky I have a good hospital team to call on. Yes a chat forum would be nice as well as these blogs.

Good luck all xx

[wirralt]

hi sugly, i know the feelings of wanting to talk during the night when sleep wont come, i can go days without sleeping since my injury its not easy because it leaves you so very exhausted during the daytime, but for some reason night thoughts are the ones we all would like to discuss ! i wish you all the very best xx

[headwayuk Partner Headway]

Hi sugly and everyone who posted a reply here so far. Really glad to hear your comments about the site, that's just what we hoped it could provide.

Don't forget if you want to use it as more of a discussion forum you can just click the Questions tab and ask a short question.

Hopefully between the Blog and questions areas this community will be a big help to everyone.

Best wishes, Headway.

[sugly]

Thank you to all for your comments, It is good to know that there are people who will take the time to read and reply to my blog. I wish you all well and hope I can help as much as you have helped me

[suensi]

Brilliant idea. Sometimes those caring for/married to, etc. someone with brain injury need a place to vent and share stuff too

[maggiekell in reply to suensi]

i agree, people you know dont understand brain injury and its consequences so they dont understand. also we have to stay strong for everyone else, i have cried when on my own more in the last 3 1/2 years since my daughters accident than in the whole of my life

[fuzzyhead]

suensi, I also think it might help those of us who actually have an injury to maybe be a bit more aware of how those we love may feel.

[sugly]

That is true fuzzyhead. Although my husband cannot help it, he has difficulty seeing how other people feel quite often. I think the more varied ways we can all have an outlet, it hopefully can help.

[ncmurphy1951]

good morning sugly i suffrede a stroke in 2007 after a high enbd career and comensurate wage £200k pa now disabled alone and in constant pain but my view is it is what it is never moan just smile be polte and get on with it hence raising £8,000 for charity in marathond since my injury am more than happy to exchange experiences and advice

neil murphy herne bay kent

[SpirallingUp]

Sugly my husband is the same, he doesnt have the insight to see how things can affect other people.

Sometimes it good tohave a 'moan' and let it all out it makes the days easier to cope.

[sugly]

Thank you everyone for continued support, I know its very early days for us even after almost two years. Well done on your achievement in raising £8000, ncmurphy1951, you are an inspiration and I am grateful for you and everyone who have commented.

[LMCJ]

My husband too suffered a TBI after an accident at work nearly 3 years ago........ I totally appreciate that his whole life has turned upside down, and I feel really selfish for saying this, but so has mine and my kids. Is that a terrible thing to say???

[maggiekell in reply to LMCJ]

LMCJ we all feel the same, its not selfish, its a fact. my other children all had to take a back seat and they needed me too but my tbi daughter needed me more so i felt deep guilt and so alone. its good to talk to people who understand.

[sugly]

The impact affects the whole family just as much as the one who is injured. I live with this fact every day. Some days are better than others but always exhausting. Thank you both, maggiekell and LMCJ. It is good to read your comments

[teejay75]

Hi sugly & fellow bloggers. Many people tend to worry about the person who suffered a brain injury which is as should be. It is not only partners that are looking after b.i relative. My children help in our household. My parnter suffers dizzy spells and we worry in case one results in a fall. We tend to work betweens so that someone is in the house when i need to nip out. My boys are 13 & 17 and i can honestly say they way they have dealt with what has happened to their dad is truly amazing. He cant walk too far now without struggling and they dont moan when isnt in the mood to watch them play their beloved football. Our lives revolve around my lads footy so this was a hard learning curve . I would go support one son whilst my partner supported the other. Now i tend to split myself.

Stay strong everyone and keep going xx

[Hidden]

Hi, reading this makes me realise there are so many wives/mothers out there like me who are just existing and getting on with it. Good to know I'm not alone xx