summertime

[Jpdee75]

Everyone including the undamaged old me which I can’t let go of, are excited and happy summer is here. I want to be but it seems to mark the start of more intense suffering for a few months. I’m feeling sad and low and as always lonely. After a long grey miserable winter and spring was wet and cloudy this year I’ll spend the so called nice days of summer praying for overcast cooler weather “sad!”. People comment on the up lifting weather is finally here yippee 🥳 which was me before waking from a coma with no recollection of what happened and now I just have to agree with them or bring the mood of conversation down and 9 times out of ten ends chat cause I am actually feeling down trodden, I’m finding life with a tbi unbearable

[cat3]

This is the worst symptom of brain injury for me. My Bi was just before Christmas 2011 and I felt I was managing the after-effects pretty well until around May 2012, when the heat intolerance hit.

The endocrinology doc explained the only treatment available was HRT, but couldn't prescribe it owing to past health issues. So it's been the bane of my life ever since and I'm now someone who alternates between a large fan and my shower during summer months.

Every shopping trip or gardening job is exhausting during daytime so I try to wait until the sun goes down before venturing out. Pure cotton clothing and good hydration help up to a point but, like you Jp, I do miss those days of embracing hot, sunny days !

....and yes, I too smile through gritted teeth when faced with the "Oh isn't it glorious" comments ! 😬

Cat. x

[Ideogram]

You're not wrong. On the one hand I like the longer hours of daylight because it means people might be more willing to do things with me after work. But on the other hand, it's one thing not being able to do much in winter, but not being able to in summer is a lot harder. This season has always been really important for me - it's when I get a bit more balance in life and spend more time outdoors, pursuing the activities and goals I care about (climbing, hiking, swimming etc). It hit me the other day that I'm not going to be able to do that as I wished, and since I still can't drive again, I'll probably spend a summer stuck in my little flat unless someone drives me to the great outdoors.

I don't have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to say you're not alone. I think there is something in at least in trying to ignore what everyone else is up to; find what you can do; and focus on the relationships where you don't need to put on a front (it's so exhausting...). But that's definitely far easier said than done.