neurologist

[jokeja]

my son is now feeling his life is over so not bothering to try and walk etc he has noticed his friends not there anymore and just can’t be bothered with anything he tells me he wishes he was dead, there are no neurological psychological available in Portsmouth to see him he needs people to talk to the place where he lives is a elderly nursing home, he only tells me how he feels he was under the mental health team before his brain injury now they say they can’t help him and he needs a neuro psychiatrist but I can’t find one my heart breaks for him and his bi has and still is affecting the whole family 4 years on

[Teazymaid]

I am so sorry to hear about your son and the lack of help he is getting and so rightly deserves , as with the right support and location to live I’m sure this would help him immensely .. I have no knowledge of what you should or could do but I am sure you will receive information on here as there is a vast amount of knowledge from people who actually do know /understand … please call Headways main office as they will be able to help you hopefully move forward … as for yourself please keep chatting on here as we all are dealing with a world we didn’t choose to be in … this group has help me more than I could have ever have thought when I joined 3years ago … Sue x

[jokeja in reply to Teazymaid]

Thank you sue

I have joined headway carer group but all I seem to do is go on lovely tea party’s or care days which I love but because I work in the mornings I can’t get to the sessions I don’t know what they do or talk about here what I would like is information on how to gain services to that my son urgently needs especially about his mental health as I feel he has just given up it’s so nice to be on this group.

Sandra

[Teazymaid in reply to jokeja]

You will get advice for definite .. your are completely right in your son needs help and you can chase what he needs .. the NHS is not the best at the moment but didn’t give up .. just from what you have written your son needs mental health support , and I would think a better place to live then in with the older generation .. non of this will help his rehab .. I am no expert but I am sure lots of advice will be shared on here ..

I’d your son is know to the mental health team get hold of them and explain his decline . If he is not know then contact them either though your sons GP or the local mental unit which is where physiatrists and CPN are based if that make no steps forward put in a complaint to social services or failing all of that contact your local MP .. unfortunately we have to shout very loud to be heard .. last minute thought ask the home he is in first as then you are giving them all a chance to help .. good luck and keep in touch Sue x

[jokeja in reply to Teazymaid]

Thank you sue, just seems like there’s no help anywhere xx

[Teazymaid]

you will feel like that but please don’t give up … they have to listen to you eventually . You are and have a right to expect proper treatment for your son .. I’m sure you will get more info on here but don’t give up 😊 sue x

[Nanapal]

I am also the mother of a brain injured son so can in many ways empathise.

Please keep trying to find a better suited environment for your son. I know like many things it can be a post code lottery in what is available (we are in N East of England). We have been lucky in having a Headway accredited care home for our son. It has two separate rehabilitation floors along with elderly dementia/ nursing floors. It also has its own team of physios & OT staff so they interact and get to know residents much better than different faces coming from outside. Your son is young and needs correct focused therapy now to help him face his future.

Keep pushing for your son - battles are something we mothers get used to whilst trying to do the best for our family. Maybe write to your MP and explain problems you are facing with inadequate care - we did this and they were very helpful.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

Best wishes Nanapal. x

[Tony-Muzzy]

Hello you,I am a TBI survivor. An ex Met police officer that had his life turned upside down in a car crash on the way home from work. I fully understand your son & his thought process in wishing he wasn't alive. I am now an Emotional Freedom Techniques matrix reimprinting practitioner (tapping). I have helped many people reframe & recode their current situation to release themselves from trauma. I am not saying that it is 100% proof guaranteed to work. However, I would love to have the opportunity to talk with you & discuss the process to see if you feel it would be something he would like to try.

Please contact me via email or phone call & let's see where he is at.

blinq.me/iZdabhn727tb

Regards

Antony Murray

[skydivesurvivor]

been there! Takes years to accept/adapt to new limitations for him. Very stressful for the family. Get in touch with social services/ if necessary cit. advice to help y find help for him first 5 years for me was very remote, withdrawn. Stressed my family, hubby& friends. Hardest for them to accept their old friend was no more?! Saw it as god toughening me up?!! A trying time for all! Please come rant or report progress, try to get him to chat to similar people here? May help u both? Take care

[Lulu_Lollipop]

So sorry, much love to your son, you and family. I can't add to the wise words already here. I hope your situation improves very soon.

[cat3]

Sandra, have you spoken with your local MP. Your son's predicament needs expediting to a much higher level if he's to receive the care and treatment he needs.

My daughter in law suffered from a painful, untreated condition for over a year and badly needed complex surgery involving three separate specialists.

My son contacted their MP and my daughter in law was admitted for surgery within a week.

I know your son's issue is primarily a matter of finding a suitable mental health placement, but your MP's intervention can cut through red tape and bureaucracy like nothing else.

You might be faced with travelling further afield if a placement can be sourced out of your area. I know of folk travelling 30-40 miles for visiting to specialist units, but have seen great benefits for their loved one in the long run.

I'm guessing you've spoken with the Headway team at the helpline ? And maybe the CQC can help ...details below :-

********************

Report a concern if you are a member of the public

Care Quality Commission

cqc.org.uk › contact-us › report-concern-if-...

*********************

My best wishes, Cat x

[sashaming1]

You may have already looked here to see if they have any ideas:

headway.org.uk/

[HopeForChris]

Hi

So sorry to hear about your son and hope the good advice by others mentioned already here helps.

My brother is going through a similar experience. He's 44 and currently in a care home, 1 year after severe BI. He struggles with motivation to even manage his daily personal care, have a shower etc which is frustrating (1 job!) but he feels hopeless so now looking to get some counselling sorted to see if that helps. My brother has aphasia too, so it's difficult to even know what he's really thinking and going through when he can't talk and express himself. Very upsetting.

Anyway, one thing I have found lifts my brother's mood is seeing family/friends etc and doing something 'normal' like go to the pub to play pool or do a home visit and then he has a shave etc as he's got something to look forward to. I appreciate there might be limitations here but even if your son's friends could make some effort once in a while to visit their friend in need.

Best wishes and feel free to reach out.x

[jokeja in reply to HopeForChris]

thank you , that’s what he really needs friends but they’ve all disappeared and someone to chat to he does talk to some on messenger on Facebook and but he really needs to see people I’m going try and get him to join this website so he can chat freely to people here, I have taken him to pubs and bingo before but he don’t like people talking to him even if they are being nice.

It’s so hard I just constantly worry about him especially when me and my husband are gone, I’m glad you have found something your brother likes doing, we just keep trying. Thanks for lovely reply

Sandra

[Annabella1976]

hi I know how u. And your son feels as I’m 11 years on and can’t walk since my stroke and I’m depressed and my anxiety is bad and I have pain in my left wrist I got Botox thinking it would help but only made it worse when standing on the turner and my sleep is bad I took I sleeping tablet at 9pm and another at 4am and they were 50 mil not good so I know how he feel best wishes from rep of Ireland

[Lisamarsh]

I’m so sorry your poor son is feeling so low. My son sustained a TBI 4 years ago and we are so blessed that he has made a good recovery. He gets very depressed and tired too - so my heart goes out to you and your family. Keep fighting for Your Boy - I personally would contact your MP. Sending you hugs and strength x