My partners stroke and brain issues

Hi all,my partner had his stroke last September, he was given a life saving drug to get rid of the blood clot in his brain. They said it got rid of it. The months following was tough. They discharged him and he was out of the hospital only 3 days after. Its been hard. Temper tantrums aggressive, He's calmed down now, but he gets real heavy head and needs sleep. I worry alot . nobody tells us anything. He pees frequently and goes to toilet a lot, then it dies down. He has pain in his arm , so many things. He won't go to doc's, which makes me worry more. I just need advice on the tiredness etc. Thanks

26 Replies

  • Hi logic99.

    Welcome to this site. Firstly I will point out that we are not medically trained on here merely people who have suffered a brain injury or those caring for/with someone who has. Things like the peeing a lot need to be checked out with a GP because could be prostrate problems etc. My understanding is that ..... although the clot busting drugs dispersed the clot when it occurred, the Stroke will still have caused some damage to the area of the brain where the clot/stroke occurred, although this was lessened but the drug being used, as otherwise the risk would have been a more catastrophic stroke. As for any brain event it takes time for what has happened in the brain to recover, and that recovery can sometimes be complete or can leave longer term or permanent problems. The fatigue is very common with brain injury but it is not like a physical fatigue but is a cognitive fatigue because the brain is having to work mega hard, which will depend on the area of the brain affected but things like - to think, process, understand, remember etc or it can be areas of the brain involved in movement or speech etc. Sleep is down time for the brain so it can put it energies into healing if it can and recovering or rewiring new pathways. Do not worry about the fatigue, just make sure any activity in the day is done in short bursts and allow him to rest or sleep when needed. If he doesn't his brain will become overwhelmed by the cognitive demands etc and his abilities to do things which become worse as he will need to sleep. Think of him running on a battery, after his stroke his battery won't be able at best to charge very much and will become flat very easily with the smallest of activity - physical or cognitive. You could ring the Headway Helpline or look at their website for advice and information, or my other suggestion would be to take a look at or if your husband is younger

    Best wishes

  • Thank you so much for replying. The peeing has improved he's up and down. Yes I believe he's got brain damage and the feelings in his brain ate part of it. He said he feels like there is a hole in is head abit like a toilet roll.

  • Hi.

    I'm so sorry for you, I had my Stroke in 1998 (bleed) at the age of 32.

    Sorry but did you say that he was only in hospital for a matter off days ???

    Has he had any outpatient appointments since being discharged ???

    Yes Fatigue is a real Bigeeeeeee after a Stroke/ BI.

    That's good that he has calmed down a bit.

    Please let me know if I can help you.


  • Hi Steve. I'm so grateful you replied. My fiancé Rod is discharged from the neurological team and neurologist. They said he's OK, but at times he does suffer with waves of bad feeling in his head. You know Steve I suffer with schizophrenia myself that's why I get over emotional sometimes. But I got through the worse. I care for my fiancé a lot. He picks up then at times he says he wants to feel free. Are the heavy heads part of it.

  • Hi Chloe.

    That's no problem at all "anytime"

    Yes the heavy days are part off the package !!!

    Sorry but have you both had to deal with everything ???

    It's a good job he had the "clot buster" drug !!!!

    Please don't feel that you are both on your own !!!!

    We are all here for you !!!!


  • Hi Steve, thanks a lot for your support. Its great to talk to someone. Actually today has been a better day for Rod. I really do appreciated your reply. X

  • Hi,

    That's great, I'm here anytime for you both.

    Yes I know what it's like to be abandoned.

    Please ask me anything that will help ???


  • Hi Steve, you have explained so much to me, like the heaviness of head and not feeling free, just things that help me with my anxiety. I know now that its all part of rods illness. I also try to find things out. He's tired now but today has been abit better. Thanks again I don't feel as alone now, take care

  • Hi

    No probs !!!

    Yes fatigue is another one on the list.

    This does take a while to get used too but don't worry he will get there.

    I'm glad that you have both had a better day.


  • Yes in hospital only 3 days. A drug got rid of the clot. But we have had to cope on our own. I sent a earlier message Steve. To explain a little. I pray everyday.

  • Hi Chloe. It seems people are sent home pretty soon after a stroke as, medically, treatment can be continued effectively at home and patients are encouraged to keep as active as possible.

    Minimal aftercare is what most of us here complain of, and has to be fought for, and for those of us with severe vulnerability it's often the most worrying issue. But your partner's fatigue is absolutely to be expected after brain trauma.

    But as mentioned by Caroline above, you can contact for advice or the Headway helpline on 0808 800 2244 (free call) where you can get friendly, helpful advice & support.

    It's so challenging for people cast suddenly into the role of carer for a loved one. Seeing the changes in them and coping with a range of new behaviours takes its toll on even the strongest, so get all the help you can Chloe.

    And be vigilant where your own health condition is concerned ; your partner needs to understand that his cooperation is essential for the welfare of you both in a relationship where teamwork can make such an enormous difference.

    Wishing you better & better days ahead, Cat x

  • Thank you for your quick reply. Yes its wonderful to talk to others and yourself on here. I'm learning more about my partner's illness. We have been together for 17 years. X

  • Hi, just to add to the answers already given...I think it's still early days.

    Might be worth asking about community neuro rehab team...or come to talk to you both about your own situations?

    Is he still taking medications that may affect his mood/sleep patterns? I know my meds affect blood clot certainly not cleared within my ten days in hospital, nor in the 18months since. But they have told me that the blood is flowing better and that it may nevercompletely go and that my damaged parts will always be there. :-(

    Hope you have a good weekend ☺

  • logic the peeing is due to the catheter that was inserted. he needs to do squeezing exercises to tighten the eurethra

  • Hi, his stroke was almost a year ago. It comes and goes the frequency to pee. He hates docs. I think its when he's tired its worse. Maybe a brain issue I think when he pees more.

  • Steve's quite right about the catheter ; I'm afraid I had several accidents after it was removed when I misjudged the time it took to 'shuffle' to the loo !

    But if your partner still can't fully control his urination maybe he should have a urine test in case he has an infection. It's not uncommon after using a catheter and won't properly clear up without an antibiotic. xx

  • He's terrible he hates talking about medical stuff. But you could be right. It seems to have cleared up. Even though its a year ago his stroke. I will find out if he had a catheter.

  • logic99 you can check for signs of a possible urine infection by the colour. normal is straw colour and a possible uti is brown and may smell. in anycase you should be making sure sure hes drinking plenty of water.

  • Thank you Steve, for you info. really do get alittle stressed at times, rod isn't so easy to take to docs. But I will make a note of looking next time. it seems to have calmed down the frequency of weeing. Rod gets alot of foggy heads it just comes over him and it drains him so much. Then it goes. I can see a big difference in him at times. I have my name down for a bungalow with having bad feet, but it's very hard finding a good one, I'm on the housing register at Doncaster. Our neighbours can get my partner down alot, she has hoards of kids there and all the family takes their kids, she has 9 grown up adults herself and all their off spring. I get really low and sometimes wonder why we have to go through all this. I got this house with a exchange, we just need a peaceful place to live. Everything is a fight. I'm sorry Steve I just feel so overwhelmed at times.

  • Hi, sorry to hear about your neighbors all we need is peice and quite. Especially if we are unwell, but life's a "wotsit" sometimes. Yes foggy heads also come with the territory unfortunately. Sorry but everything is a fight, please please let me know if I can help???


  • Hi Steve, you really have been more than helpful towards our situation. I know as fast as the heaviness comes on Rod, it can go. He said he was worried if he had to deal with this the rest of his lifetime. He's lost weight is 14 stone and was a lot bigger. I just care and worry

  • That's no problem, can you please tell Rob it does get easier with time. He has to keep as positive as he can. If he is losing weight then you can get "build up drinks" from your GP. I had these when I was in the same situation. They are really good. Is there anything else that I can do??? Is there anything positive that he can do that will lift his spirit's ????

    Please let me know if I can offer you both anymore help/support.


  • Yes rod takes the dog out. We got a lovely dog he's 3.He's been eating pies and sausage rolls to fatten up rod has. I'm sure he will be OK. Thanks again Steve.

  • Hi.

    Thanks, yes that sounds great.

    The walking will do him the world of good believe me.

    Yes he will be ok !!!


  • logic99 while i feel sorry for you and your circumstances your first concerns has to be for your husband, so i am going to give you one last piece of advice and if you dont take it, because youve ignored everything before,

    make an appointment for you to go and see the doc and ask ask him to get you a move on medical grounds

  • Hi Steve, I managed to get letter's from doc and occupational therapist and Also the housing have been in touch with Rods neurological team. We are hoping and waiting for a decent area, that's why we have waited. There a couple of bungalows being built and the area seems popular, but funnily enough today Rod has had a good day, it means so much to me, he's cut all the grass its a big corner garden. I admire his spirit. So Steve we have done everything. Just being patient for a good area we actually went to view a bungalow last week it was awful. Thanks for you message, hope you too are OK.

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