Existing, not living

[Philcragg]

Well, 2002 I had an accident in work where 2 pallets of radiators were pushed off the back of a lorry but landed on me, I suffered a bleed on the brain, few other cuts and bruises, the following month I suffered with a seizure on my way to work, and was diagnosed with epilepsy, I put a litigation claim in, as you would, took 2-3 years for liability be settled, then bout 6years for quantum be settled, so settled 2011, finalised January 2012, so I could start to rebuild my life, suffered bad with depression and anxiety and tried to take my own life many times, family never really been there for me, except for my late mother, who once started getting closer and closer to my older brother, started trying to con money out of me, 1 occasion where she had a crash on her way to mine, then expected me pay excess on her car insurance, another occasion there was holiday accommodation booked but no flights, and decided to tell me 3 days before the holiday that i was supposed be goin away in 3 days, holiday was never my holiday, then i had my mums brother ringing asking me for money for accommodation, it wasnt owt do with me, who needs enemies with family like mine, so I took a step back, just cut contact, my family just get worse and worse, my siblings don’t bother......till they want something, starting with my father now, iv always respected him and looked upto him, but as he’s getting older he’s not teaching his kids to his 2nd wife the meaning of hard work, the value of money etc, instead of getting my dad’s work ethic like I did, they learning from their mother, sit on your backside or lie in bed for rest of their life, for some reason my dad allows it, it’s like whenever something needs paying, they look to me, younger brother Daniel, always asking for lifts as he’s only one who don’t drive, he’ll ask cos he knows I won’t take money off him, my sister went on her last holiday with her wife, to save my dad getting up at the crack of dawn before work to go get her from the airport, I offered to go get her, I later said I was waiting hours for her, my dad asked, who paid the parking, a said my sister, he shook his head as if to say I shud have paid it, my 40th, which was February 2022, I handed my dad a cheque for £20.000, because I look upto him, idolise him, respect him and feel sorry for him, I wanted him to have nice things, take a step back from work, thinking of his health as he has COPD, but he’s never gonna get to retire, as his wife, 18year old kids, have no intention of ever working again, which means iv no respect for them whatsoever and I hate the thought of my dad spending that on them, he did help me feel sorry for him, saying, a don’t wanna still be working when I’m 70 ☹️ unfortunately he’ll be working till he takes his last breath, I don’t agree with living to work, work to live that’s my moto, a mean, iv even ad my older brother break a digital camera once and said, “money you’ve got, just go buy another” then there’s my dad at 63, struggling to pay his massive mortgage off so owt happens to him, atleast Sam an the kids will av somewhere live, disagree with that to, they’d just av move if mortgage weren’t paid off, if sam was an Avon lady, its summet, it shows willing, just none of them ever do owt, 2years after my mums passing, my older brother still harassing my late mums fiance over money, parts of it I agree with but I’m not gonna lower myself to his level, friends have told me that’s how my dad chose to live his life, so that’s his problem, no1 else’s, like a said, I look upto him and respect him, despite him doin things all wrong, ah well, at the end, I’m left with no parents an no siblings, I’m the bad guy somehow

[cat3]

I've heard an identical story here on the forum. Do you have a partner Phil ? It's hard, but distancing yourself from 99% of your family and building one of your own, with respectfulness and love, would seem your only chance of the life you deserve. The compensation pay-out is for your care now, and in the future ; no one should be exploiting it, especially family.

Take care x

[Philcragg in reply to cat3]

I do have a Partner, she's wonderful

[cat3 in reply to Philcragg]

Can you escape with your lady and start a whole new life, or are there complications which keep you in the one place ?

[Philcragg in reply to cat3]

Yeah, she's got kids, iv no kids, plus she works, iv not worked since 2003, a miss my dad but wudnt be bothered if I never saw rest of my family agen

[cat3 in reply to Philcragg]

Shame. But I hope you and your new family will keep up strong enough barriers against the money grabbers 'til they get the message loud & clear.

.....and you're not the bad guy here ! Take care Phil. x

[skydivesurvivor]

Like many of us!! People too easily take advantage of us!! Nowhere to socialise safely these days either. This site is a wonderful site for support, from people who share your experiences!! At the very least we owe it to the NHS to go on, have taught myself to SMILE to spite the situation!! Give it a try…worst case they’ll cart u off in a straight jacket?!! Good luck anyhow, that a twitch to the corner of y mouth I sense?!!