my future?!

[skydivesurvivor]

after supporting mum through dads loss, 5 years of no-one willing /aware of changes I took mum to her G.p for a mot. Was told after blood test, stool sample she had cancer. Made me promise not to tell my siblings, family. Eventually sis took her to the memory clinic. Alzimers/ dementia diagnosed. Long and short I became my daters cater!! Year since her passing , several tests on my vision, brain scan, am now lost for things to do!! My social life is 1.5 hours sharing coffee with other either elderly or disabled friends. Am due a O.T next week to visit. Look fine, til I open my mouth?! Went to appeal to get long term ESA. Was awarded 13 points, only needed 5?!! Am lost without mum, brother is now my cater. He works has a young family to care for. I can’t handle groups of people, either known or strangers. Am terrorfied of the visit. Know I need to socialise more but it scares me! Have discovered another emotion! Dread!! Am frustrated by my inability!! Prior accident frequently was in charge/ managing 30+people every day!! Now can’t handle more than2 hours with 5. Help!!

[AndrewT]

Dear skydivesurvivor,

Crickey you have 'Been Through The Mill'! (I'm Not quite, too sure, if I understood your 'Post' exactly but- the gist- seems to be 'You Had Many People, you supported/ were supported by- and now you don't. Please correct me, if I'm wrong.)

I think that you need to 'get on', to Social Services, and Ask For An Assessment- In YOUR Own Home. 'They' might, very well, be rather 'Reluctant'. Play your '13 Point' Card here- you are Too scared. much to much, to Go Out!- so 'they' must come to you. (In 'any case' you Don't 'understand' this- do you- all, far too, confusing...... Even had you 'in tears'😢hasn't it? Could 'they' Help you... Please?)

Paperwork is The Key here and, the more, you have of it- to Back Your Case- the better. I had to appeal, against a PIP Ruling- in2016- not only was my Benefit Re-instated but at a Higher Rate..... based on the Same Evidence!

skydivesurvivor you must be Strong for, just a 'bit' longer, babe.... you CAN 'Do' this, indeed you must do so- for, your own, Piece Of Mind, my friend. (I had here written a whole section, on a Race, involving the Loony Tunes Characters- to try and Help you, Babe BUT it Ended Up Far Too Childish.)

So can I just say 'If You Need any 'More Help' you can P(rivate) M(essage) me, or just Ask, on here Sweetheart. Sending All our Love and Best Wishes

AndrewT

[skydivesurvivor in reply to AndrewT]

why thank you!! Have always tried to bolster others on this site since I joined. Never foresaw how much I would need some at some point!! Always said life could be a challenge, never considered how much it could be to me in the future!! This is a great sounding board, glad to know others are in the same s..T times!! I will get her to sort it all when she comes. Have written down my cituation , will dig out the relevant paperwork, thank you very much. Never truly been down for many years, not for me anyway, take care and follow my own instruction I guess SMILE to spite the tbi?!!

[Letsrock in reply to skydivesurvivor]

Hi skydivesurvivor,Sorry to hear about you, you are my strength with your saying.. SMILE to spite the t bi!!

Definitely need social support if you can't socialist. I read that to retrain your brain for this you have to keep doing it slowly, mixing and it will eventually come back. I have been trying this and it does work but very scary so hang on in there and SMILE!

I feel your loss of your mum.

Try real hard with your brother visit as you can rest after for a while but your brain will hurt and take a lot in. It will be worth it. Try busy shop with sound or pub just walking through it first then taking longer eventually for drink, lol coke!

This is a chance for you to concentrate on your well deserved self!

Take care. Bless you. Xx

[skydivesurvivor in reply to Letsrock]

thank you! An trying, annoyed at how much ability I’ve lost still!! Even if little bits do actually astonish me! Rediscovering so many emotions, never cried at mums death, sis warned me that could have bad outcome. The old me was a callous cow so shouldn’t be too surprised really. My frequent frustration is how useless I am! 22 years should have reckognolised it by now!! Still life goes on, SMILE!!! Corner of my mouth twitched, that do? Take care & thanks!