My partner suffered a level 5 SAH

[Adidrive]

Hi, on 30th March my partner suffered a level 5 subarachnoid haemorrhage due to an aneurysm. She was taken to Colchester general and then to Queens at Romford the same day for surgery. 9 days under sedation and when she woke her left side was paralysed and her brain didn’t recognise that she had a left side. 10 weeks later and she’s at the rehab unit in Homerton hospital (has been for nearly 2 weeks). Physically she’s making progress. About 6 weeks ago she first moved the fingers of her left hand and now she can manage a half stand without the use of a hoist. Cognitively her mid to long term memory is fair, with the odd prompt but her short term memory is not good at all. Her personality doesn’t seem to have changed much and she’s reading, using her phone to text and call and still seems to be somewhat as she was. I’m left at home trying to look after her son who’s 11 with an ASD with the help of her daughter who’s 21, plus work, keep the house running and try and get to visit her when I can.

I think maybe I’m just venting a little as a lot of people I talk to just don’t understand the impact this has on absolutely everyone whereas reading the posts here I get a feeling of hope and of course understanding

Apologies for rambling, it’s a terrible habit that I have

[Shon48]

No need to apologise for having a rant. Your wife hasn’t given up and that’s a good thing but I’m sure she has her off times but , like me , puts the face on of “I’m alright “when she really wants to scream. I wish you both a bucket load of patience and understanding. It will be a long haul but with every bit of improvement no matter how small , is a great achievement. Bless you and your family . 🤗🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿X

[Adidrive in reply to Shon48]

Thank you, I think you’ve described the whole situation very well

[cat3]

Welcome Adi......and no apology needed ! I understand the urgency to offload after such a shocking event and its after effects. I had a SAH 7 years ago and, after discharge, my poor family needed to keep talking about events and feelings on and off for months afterwards. It helped me too though as I'd no recollection of the first weeks, but what hit me most was realising the shock and fear they'd obviously been through, but which I'd no memory of.

Your partner's short term memory will probably always be defective, but there are ways of managing (& improving) it with time and patience. Long term memory is rarely affected. And her mobility, emotional responses and lack of energy might be problematic for a while yet ; It took a couple of years (and then some) before I reached a plateau but, from the outset, I was determined to achieve maximum progress.

Stay with us Adi and keep the updates coming so you can offload, and so we can keep in touch with your partner's progress and with how you're coping. There are no definitive answers for how an individual will progress in time, but from what you've posted your lady seems to be proactive and doing fine.

Best wishes to you both …………...and stay in touch. Cat x

[Adidrive in reply to cat3]

Hi cat3.....thank you, it’s funny how a few words can make one feel better, just because they’re coming from someone with experience. She is very proactive and and never gives up, before this she was diagnosed with fybromyalgia and osteoarthritis (at the age of 44) and gave it all “two fingers” and for most of her life she’s fought chronic asthma and I don’t see any change in her determination.

I can deal with most things apart from the unfairness of it all (I’m sure just about everyone feels that) and I have to say that I’ve never felt so alone.

Thank you for your words, they’ve helped immensely and I’m making the hour and half train journey tomorrow to visit her, which I’m looking forward to, so I’ll keep the updates coming

[cat3 in reply to Adidrive]

I remember when I first posted on Headway ; I was SO surprised at how 'included' the replies made me feel and I've been coming here almost every day since. It's a safe place where no one's judged and we can talk as we feel, whether it's with questions or just to have our feelings heard and a bit of reassurance.

It's kind of a second family...……. 🙂

Give your lady our best wishes tomorrow won't you Adi ! x

[WinB]

Hello Adi,

My Husband and Daughter got me through this as I thought my next step was to plan my funeral lol cheery I was when first awoke after a year!! ..Keep wife happy and talk about old times and fun times. As I cannot remember much short term. But remember years ago and my Dad died in 1999 and I used to say to my sisters .."Tell Dad I'll get up to see him when better" so lost poor Dad twice xx Make sure you are well rested also. We need our partners help and understanding. I knew I was getting better after getting Hydrocephalus and having shunt put in to get rid of water on brain. I awoke and my dogs went potty but still couldn't hold myself upright. but when told you will never walk again they forget the human spirit xx plus I knew I was getting better as my hubs moaned at me and I did what I do best..Cried lol xx Keep singing as that is what helped me but not hubby xx Hope wife goes from strength to strength ..Slow but surely does it mine was SAH4 so know what she is going through xxxx

[Nks425]

It’s not an easy road for anyone especially the caregiver. When I had my aneurysm and SCH ( not sure the level) on my left side as well. My husband had to take care of the house,work and make sure our daughter who was in high school and could take care of herself but you don’t want your child to deal with everything alone as well as our son who was in university. Both kids could take care of themselves but he was concerned about mental well-being along with trying to make sure things were somewhat normal for them as much as possible plus coming to see me at the hospital. I could walk but not by myself.

Make sure to take care of yourself because that’s important as well.

Make whatever time you can for you even if only a few minutes just so you can breathe and relax even if it’s only a few minutes.

Wish you all the best remember it’s a marathon not a sprint. Take it slow and be good to yourself.

[Jaec]

Hi, you seem to be coping very well. I had a brain haemorrage 30 years ago and had to relearn to walk, read, my short term memory is still poor but I gradually have found ways to get around it.

I think patience and acceptance are a huge part of recovery, for the individual and for the family. I have tried everything over the years and found Mindfulness very helpful. Just taking it one day even one minute at a time

[Adidrive in reply to Jaec]

Coping on the outside and on the inside it’s a bit different but you have to deal with what’s put in front of you I guess.

My other half was very much into mindfulness before her SAH to help with her osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia (all diagnosed last year at the age of 44) and it was helping and she wasn’t letting chronic pain stop her carrying on as much as normal and I’m hoping she still has that mindset, actually I believe she has.

Everybody on here gives me hope that there’s going to be a reasonably happy ending to all of this