think i need counselling???

[JULIETstevens]

i think i need counselling, as happy 1 minutre, crying the next at the trauma of it all. feels like i need counselling. had bereavement counselling, but that was useless...... juliet

[Greg1968]

I don't know your story as new here Juliet but I would say you should as nothing to lose and I have found it helpful although you have to find the right councillor for you. Please feel free to share what you've been going through. I would like to try and help.

[JULIETstevens in reply to Greg1968]

thanks greg. i'll ask for more counselling from my caseworker, who i'm seeing tomorrow. I reckon recovering is about building a new life you can be happy with, which i am most of the time, interspurted with bursting into tears randomly! don't want more anti-depressants though, will give headway a call, thanks for the suggestion.

[Teazymaid]

counselling is a really good start in learning about you .. some counsellors will not be for you but don’t give up as others will be right for you .. they all have different pathways /techniques along with their personality makes them unique so don’t give up looking for the right one ..

With the right person you will learn to deal with the new you. there is no magic cure , they just help you devise ways of dealing with the not so nice sides of life .

I’ve always said if you had a desk full of messed up paperwork that is just impossible to sort out then the councillor tidy it all up , puts it into pills that can be slowly tackled …

They can’t get rid of the bad bits but they can help you find a place to live with it . Somewhere where it’s been addressed from many angles so that it can be laid to rest ..

I personally have had councillors many years ago . Nothing to do with TBI … I’ve had other trauma before that and without counselling my life would have been unbearable .. it works …

Sue x

[Meneage in reply to Teazymaid]

Hi. I’ve been having weekly counselling since my road traffic accident in Sep - as Sue describes I have found it really useful in organising my very disorganised thoughts and emotions…I can then decide what to focus on next rather than getting lost in the mess. Go for it.

[Leaf100 in reply to Meneage]

That's a good way of putting it, Meneage. I really need someone to talk over what I need to do because otherwise it is stays in the general clutter in my brain - it's like I can talk and it will come out but if I have to think it through then my mind is blank and I have no idea what to do. Sometimes I can say it but I can't hang on to it long enough to write it down and be able to do it. I'm getting better at it, though - I have to make a list when my brain is co operating so I can use the list when my brain goes - "take a number" and there doesn't appear to be anyone at the service window.

[JULIETstevens in reply to Leaf100]

i'll ask for support and go from there..... on another point, i had a lovely community support lady visit 3/4 times and we went out to pub for coffee and i thought got on well. then she dropped me and never seen her since. Felt like maybe she was sent in by my pdychiatrist etc to check how crazy i am now. bit paranoid.....

[JULIETstevens in reply to JULIETstevens]

sorry leaf100, ibn answer to your reply, thanks so much for your advice. i'll give headway a call and talk to my caseworker tomorrow about his referral too. juliet xx

[Leaf100 in reply to JULIETstevens]

Not to worry.

Who set up the community support?

I live in Canada but have a friend in the UK, who says she often just gets 5 visits or so, as that's all that gets approved.

You might want to contact them and say you found the visits helpful and are wondering why they stopped coming. That way they will either realize that person is away or something, or that more visits need approving, or tell you what the story is.

We end up having to manage ourselves - and the system as well. It is heavy lifting sometimes.

You have to get used to phoning or contacting and having not much happen, then trying again after awhile. Things change, sometimes it depends on who answers the phone... and of course talking to Headway can help a lot, though they also have their limits.

[JULIETstevens in reply to Leaf100]

thanks for your responses. that's really useful to know they only do so many visits, though in my case i was told i had 'unlimited' funding' due to my age (35 at the time of TBI) and circumstances. Visitor said she'd keep on coing for as long as i want, but no contact since pre christmas. I am however getting lots of support from my girlie, uni friends with 'party' weekends in wales and bristol so far so i guess we can construct our own social therapy by rallyinh pre TBI friends to support us and show us that life goes on..... especiallly out of the rat race, as you say. take care xx juliet

[Leaf100 in reply to JULIETstevens]

Maybe ask for another visitor and see what comes of it? There may be some reason the first one stopped, and you were missed being reassigned, or she was only approved so many visits at once.

Leaf x

[JULIETstevens in reply to Leaf100]

thanks, she stopped 'cus've xmas but is starting up again now. thanks for the advice though..... looking forward to some nice chit-chat and outing for hot choccie. x feelings up and down as very settled at moment, happy again- for now at least. TBI seems to have effected me by giving me a shorter fuse and being upset/angry easily. i find it passes though, it's worse around the time of my period. A month or so ago i was going REALLY mental with PMS, but got a handle on that now and hubby sees it coming, so we can all prepare and deal with it. hope tat helps juliet

[Charente]

it worked for us. Referred to counsellor through neurologist following TBI

I would compare post counselling feeling as having had a calming warm relaxing bath in a chaotic life.

[Leaf100]

I'm sad to hear you 're going through all this, Juliet. Your profile says you've had a TBI recently. Counselling is a great idea - I would suggest you call Headway and ask about what's right for you- perhaps a referal to either a neuro psychiatrist or a neuro psychologist who also does counselling. Some of it may be related to your injury and the ones with 'neuro' in their title understand brain injuries, and will know what is from that and what may be more down to the stresses of all you've been through. They should also have an idea of who is available in your area.

The difference between the psychiatrist and the psychologist is the psychiatrist can help you find the right medicaitons - psychologists can't rx at all. However, if the waiting list is long you may want to opt for who you can get.

Since things are a bit complicated, I really would contact Headway and speak to them. Their number is a pinned post to the right on my screen - your view may be different.

If you feel you need more resources, find out about any groups operating in your area, or any societies. Local people will have had experience with various medical practitioners and can help steer you in the right direction.

Keep us posted.

Leaf

[JULIETstevens in reply to Leaf100]

thanks for your respnoses. i think i'll talk to my caseworker about it and in the meantime ring headway. thanks for your advice. my sis visiting tomorrow too, so hoping a bit of big sis therapy may help!

[rockyandfrank]

Hi

I can relate to your story very much.

I can spend days/weeks with tears just streaming.

I am seeing a counsellor from relate who is going through loss and anger. I am overwhelmed with how my life has changed forever.

I have learnt not to worry about the tears - they can be very healing.

Sending lots of hugs x

[Lite75]

Can I suggest contacting Headway as they specialise and have trained Counsellors in brain injury. I don’t think the average bereavement counsellor would have the depth of knowledge or understanding of what it’s like.

[Skulls]

Juliet,

It has to be better than drugs. Taking citalopram was a nightmare for me when I needed treating. Post BI, I was referred for counselling but then Covid arrived and I never got it. No better today!

[MimiSpree]

Hey Juliet: I am sure most of us empathize with the day to day struggles. I just want to remind you that you have heart, creativity, and talent and an inner resource that will get you past this moment toward better moments. Fortunately, we have eachother, so we don't have to do it alone. I am so glad you shared some of the stifled feelings I feel on any given day. The holiday season doesn't help with all the expectations we put on ourselves, and the disappointment when we can't check-off all the boxes. Keep writing! That's a win-win for your readers and yourself.

[skydivesurvivor]

me again, just finished cloud counciling & quite frankly all it did was confirm just how inadequate I am!!! Am partially sighted so it was hard to navigate. Questionair was pointless, quite honestly am now more anxious than I was when I started it!!!

[Leaf100 in reply to skydivesurvivor]

hi skydivesurvivor

I find the part when you first see someone is really tough - the how to, the forms with quesitons that make no sense, the surveys...

That's the part about seeing someone new I really struggle with - I found though that it's a good test to see if we are a fit - if the person is understanding and helpful when I don't understand the survey questions then odds are we will work together just fine - if they throw a fit about it, I know we aren't a match.

If it helps any, I got a questionaire in the early days of about 20 questions and I could only answer 2. The rest were those open ended style ones and I had no idea what the heck they were talking about - no context, and I am very literal now. Ask me something specific and I may be able to answer - if there is no context, my brain floods out and I have zero idea.

Once the assessment part is over things will be a lot easier. Hang in there.

Leaf

[Painting-girl]

Hi Juliet, so sorry you are feeling awful, it's very hard to work though on your own. I can empathise - have been doing much the same lately over a non brain injury health issue, and think I will contact my previous psychologist for help. Sometimes it can be better to talk to a neuropsychologist who will be aware of all the blips we deal with because of brain injury. It saves having some of the normal BI stuff being put down to depression. They can support you emotionally - and help you find practical ways of coping - mine was brilliant at coaching me to deal with my fatigue and also dealing with all my emotional stuff as well, that resulted from losing my job and having to retire prematurely. She also saw me through weaning off my antidepressants. I found her locally online -- was supported to do so by the central London one that the neurologist sent me to, when my funds were running low. She worked for the local hospital trust in brain injury rehab, but also had a private practice.

But with any therapist the main thing is that you get on with them, but that they are strong enough to challenge you if necessary - it has to be a decent working relationship really - if you don't click with them after the first couple of weeks you need to find someone else.

Don't suffer on your own though - there is help out there and it does work x

[JULIETstevens]

for your responses, but i am serious about my sister!!! she's already said she's going to take me out on my own for a drink and catch up. i can open up to her. ups and downs as feeling much better today- like i cann handle it all, but not sure how long that will last! thanks again everyone. juliet x

[JULIETstevens]

Thanks for the advice. Yes I'll focus on the things I can do. Had a great Christmas. Hope you did too