have people told there friends about there brain injury and if so how did you tell them? as apart from my family nobody else knows about my brain injury. As I’m only 27 and had a brain injury at 13 I have missed out on socialising with people ever since apart from my close family, however as I’m now working and starting to make new friends, I’m very quiet and never talk about my past and they probably think I’m a bit boring, not because I don’t want to I’m just scared if I tell people they won’t like me if I do.
Any advice would be much appreciated
Tom
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Tom94
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Hi Tom. This is a bit of a question Tom. When I had my brain hiccup, it was very obvious to people I knew, and to new people I came into contact with.
From an employment point of view, it can be important, as an employer must make reasonable adjustments to your working conditions, assuming that there are challenges that you face due to your brain injury.
In general life, I think it is a case by case decision that only you can decide. How will this information effect a friendship /relationship. Is it likely to have a positive, or negative impact?
How much do we know about anyone's past? How much would we want to know? Would you want to know that your dad picked his nose as a kid and ate the results? I don't know the anser, whether he did or did not. Ok this might lead to a nickname, a few jokes, could he laugh with the people that laugh at him?
Would you want to know the full medical history of everyone? People reveal what they want others to know. It is obvious that I am a little different because of brain injury, so sometimes, it can make life a little easier to explain, at other times, it is none of their business, or wouldn't make any difference either way.
Headway may be able to help, their contact details are pinned to this page. 🍀
Hi Tom,
I would say go with your gut feeling regarding telling people about your brain injury. I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling anyone I had just met about my daughter’s brain injury. It might be better to wait until you get to know people better first before sharing personal information. If there’s a reason they need to know, such as your employer, in case they need to make allowances then I think it would be important to mention it and how it can impact you. The right people will always like you, for being you - whether you have a brain injury or not!
I will add that for me I found saying I had a concussion seemed to go over better than the brain injury label. I think if you found a more relatable word or words it is less scary for others sometimes.
When I am put and about I typically say nothing, just oh I have a tremor or ohI anot good at remembering names... people then just accept these things about you because there are all sorts of reasons for the symptoms.
One opton maight be you say you had a .. oops I dont remember what you told us exactly... buy you could say oh I was in a fender bender that was pretty bad and had to learn to walk again. Then see if there are some movies, music, etc from popular culture that you like you could talk about those. And perhaps find some things that are generally popular in your age group and read or watch them, that would give some common ground.. as would favourite food or candy - I am trying to say don't over look the simple things.
Some acquaintances I had at the time of my accident didnt really bat an eye over it and others I thought were closer ran before the dust settled.
I have also had the experience of people screaming at me 'it's your fault, you have a brain disease' when in fact they were the ones trying to pull something. Takes all kinds.
Also,someone said if I didnt share things people would think I didn't like them.
It can be a fine line.
Getting some resources from Headway would be a really great idea. If they have some sort of coach for you to help your transition to work and into a social life that would be really good. It is something others have faced so they will have some ideas for you.
It is something I also have on my list to do.
I am sure we will figure it out.
Some people will see you and won't care about the past much, if at all.
Hi Tom I would go with your gut feeling .. it’s ok to talk about it and I’m to not but don’t compromise how your feel .. it dosnt have to be a secret or the only thing you talk about .. if you feel better talking it may help you to discover the new your now you are out at work …Sometimes people prefer to keep things to them and sometimes sharing is a form of healing ..
Do what’s right for you and good luck with your new job
Some people you will need to tell because it will affect what you can do (such as driving), drinking (affects medication), risk (you may hit your head). Most people will not have experienced any form of temporary or permant brain injury and won't know what you're experiencing. Ask anyone with a hidden impairment or issue such as sight, hearing, or cancer. You'll know the people who you can talk to. When I emailed my former yoga teacher that I'd had a stroke and it had affected my eyesight, she immediately emailed saying we would meet for a cup of tea and slice of cake in a nice quiet cafe. Empathy doesn't always mean having been on the same path.
Hi Tom. When I had my SAH as I was a member of church all the parishioners prayed for me very intensely and so they all knew what had happened and even now (nearly 6 years down the line) still support me in lots of ways. I tend to tell other people if I am stumbling to say what I want to or getting confused or something like that, and I will say it to joke too. "Of course I can't do it I have a brain injury remember" Sometimes it puts people at ease to know they can mention it without upsetting you. It is nothing to be embarrassed about but only share with those you want to. It is your life and your brain.
(I'm late to the party sorry). What makes you feel like you need to tell people of your BI? I hear you say you're quiet. Do you stay quiet because you don't want to miss-step in a social type situation? Or are you not actually a quiet person but holding back? If you are holding back, what would happen if you just let go?
Just feel like I am quiet around my friends and don’t do things such as going out as I’m limited in what I can do, and I don’t want them to think I’m not doing things with them because I’m not interested is just my specific situation which prevents me from doing certain things
Can't help you on the bungee situation. But what is stopping you from going to the pub? So much good AF beer if your into beer of its a decent pub as well as other options. Or is it the going and the noise that is a thing. Also what would stop you from doing the random thrill seeking things ( don't do those things...shouts the mother in me).
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