Not a question. Hard news about my Mom.

[Leaf100]

My Mom is going into hospice soon.

I have had 4 surgeries this last 3 years.

Between that and the brain injury I am really resenting all the time it took away from being with her.

She tells me not to regret anything, and not to would/clould/should myself.

(I can not help wonder if I had beebpn on the ball if I could have been a better advocate for her. One medication she was on was not the greatest choice. Found out too late.)

She has been with me 6 years and I have done what I could manage.

Feeling very sad.

[Hidden]

You’ve done more than a lot of people would. You have been poorly and your mum understands this. Give yourself a break and focus on the good stuff x

[Leaf100 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your kind words. (Most people do not do much , and a few do a lot... I would rather be among the few.)

[bridgeit]

This is a sad time for you Leaf. Your mum's advice is wise. There is a difference between doing everything for someone, and doing everything you can given the information and time available to you. It sounds to me as though you did everything you could given your own limitations. You did your best and should have no regrets.

You love your mum; she loves you and you will both carry that with you whatever happens. Love is the most important thing.

Don't punish yourself for perceived shortcomings; it's pointless and will hurt you.

Just be with your mum while and when you can and talk about anything and everything that comes to mind.

Keep this remaining time with her precious.

I wish you courage and peace.

[Painting-girl]

That's very sad Leaf, a very hard time for you indeed . I hope you've got some support around you. You've done your best, no-one can do more. Good words on here for you from the others x

[Alibongo60]

Hello leaf, you said it all there you’ve done all you could manage, which is probably a lot more than a lot of other people could have done. I have worked in care all my life and you see the people who who care and the ones who can’t get rid of their loved ones quick enough, and mum obviously doesn’t want you to beat yourself up for what might have been. Don’t let the past mar the time you have left with your mum, cherish every moment that’s what’s important now, and you will be there at the most important time. Lots of love sending your way, Alice xx

[Pairofboots]

Hi Leaf, what ifs, sliding doors, regrets. These don't help, what has happened for whatever reason, can't be changed. Your mom, bears no regrets, and she doesn't expect that of you. Easier said than done, I know. She knows that you did the very best you could, and wants you to know that. 🍀