On 3rd weekend accessing community; it's really trial and error managing husbands behaviour and fatigue; but due to crazy experiences I find it goes over my head alittle bit now, basically I dont feel embarrassed and I'm feeling a little bit confident when husband has outburst I feel a lot calmer in managing,, but i do get anxious when planning ,but I stay within places I know and easy reach to car.
How are you coping, you finding overcrowding, noise, lighting, waiting, patience being tested somewhat.
Any techniques how you go about, I feel I risk assess everything and keeping an eye on timescale, managed 30mins so far but today 2x 30mins and although I'm shaking my head now at another scenario from today, I managed, but realize i should of kept to the 1x 30mins, I was testing the waters and it backfired.
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New_beginning
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Experimenting is not something backfiring, it’s all a bit of trial and error and varies from one person to the next, so don’t be disappointed.
Go back to your tried and tested regime for a little while, then try minor extensions of time. Doubling it has been a step too far this time so maybe try 2 x 20 mins at some point in the future to see what works best and keep experimenting little by little.
You will be surprised how in the future you can look back and feel satisfied that you achieved a goal that once was beyond reach. Keep a small diary with your own comments on how things went, trials, tribulations and successes. Don’t forget the latter. Patting yourself on the back once in a while will help you progress undoubtedly.
And of course keep us updated here once in a while. Others may have suggestions too.
You so very brave tho,all you been through..we " stepping on"? Its Monday we all happy?don't mess with melons man...great support and friend to me I wish I could help you,all I can send is my love,you have itxxx( little shake of maracas too!)😉😉😇
Hi New, risk assessment is something we do automatically, but most of the time we don't think about it. What you are doing is natural, you know your husband's tolerances, therefore you account for them.
When we have to manage this for someone else, it is easy to look at the negatives, but until you try you don't know.
You can't keep to the safe ground all the time, occasionally we need to push the boundaries, this is part of rehab. Is it always going to be smooth, no, but each time you learn, and the boundaries slowly open up.
There will be time's where you feel like you achieve very little, other times, success, it will ebb and flow. You can handle this, and you have to believe in your own judgement. This takes time and practice. The more you gain in confidence, the easier it gets. Remember this is still new for both of you. X
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