Coping with grief

[Ro_76]

Very early this morning I found out an ex of mine from 2011 passed away. I was with him for 11 years. I am very shocked at how strongly it has affected me. I have been in a total mess today. My question is does anyone find situations like this or any emotions more difficult to cope with following a TBI? Before this it was the terrorist attack then the tragic tower fire. I know generally everyone is deeply affected by it. But this sudden news about an ex of mine has been too much. I feel like I don't know what is going on in the basics of my life. Sorry for a long one but needed to get it out.

[Grapple5]

Hi Ro,

Sorry to hear you've had some bad news...hope you have support around you 😊

I have completely noticed a change in my emotions since my accident...I have been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my accident/dealing with injuries but I can't say whether or not my thoughts and emotions are down to my head injury or the PTSD...prior to my injury I had a high pressure job which I was able to handle without worrying at all...I now get excessively worried (I'd actually say rather scared) when my family go on long journeys, when things happen on the news (and I can't help myself watching it!), etc, etc...I also have much less patience with every day things and find myself getting upset over things I definitely wouldn't have got upset about before.

Again, sorry about your bad news and hope you're feeling happier sometime very soon...

[cat3]

I identify with this Ro. 6 months after my bleed on the brain my ex husband suffered the same (dreadful for our son & daughter). I survived, but he died after 2 years in a nursing home.

Though we had been divorced for over 20 years his loss was a great blow, not just because he was the father of our children but because he had once played such a significant part of my life. I still get nasty aftershocks 3 years on, and miss him so much.

It's a natural reaction Ro, with or without heightened emotions from a BI, to feel sadness for the passing of those we once loved. Allow yourself to grieve without wondering whether or not it's 'normal'.

And who wouldn't be shocked by the terrorist attacks and haunted by the images of the Kensington fire ; these are natural, healthy responses to unnatural, dreadful events. I can't get certain of those images out of my head ; I somehow feel it would almost be disrespectful & heartless if I could. xx

[lcd8]

Hi Ro. I'm so sorry to hear your dreadful news. I too am affected a lot by such things. But because I've always had a BI I'm not sure whether this is just part of being me or whether my BI has heightened my emotions. The world is a dreadful place sometimes and I fear for my children and wonder what the world will be like when they are my age. But there isn't really much I can do about it. I think its natural to feel shock when someone you know personally dies. I remember being greatly affected by a colleague who died of cancer a few years ago. I didn't even know her well. But the fact she was the same age as me really upset me. I couldn't stop thinking about it for a little while.

[Ghost-on-point]

Lost my soul buddy Girlfriend too. Sorry For your pain & Loss. Found it difficult at work. From nowhere my Heart would be dragged down. One lady happened to look my in the eye that exact moment & explained later which Helped. Only a handful know, family don't.

Hopefully you have friends to just be with or chat?

Spent Alot of the year avoiding social interaction & at a cat-cafe with headphones on... Three cats came running too me!!! They knew..

I try too escape my "bubble-routine" & skateboard with music. I'm late 30's but reintroduced myself to boarding after walking past shop.

Anyhow just trying to Lift you & empathise with you.

[Ro_76]

Thank you for your words all. It is a difficult subject as to why I suddenly left him years ago but that is not important now. I think dye that it may.be the cause of how I am feeling now. Funeral next week and it will be a closure on this for me. Still does not stop you being in deep grief just because a past was a bad one.

Thank you xx