Following his TBI 2 yrs ago husband has made slow and steady progress. Life is good although so different. We seem to have had so much change to cope with this last 6 months. A new move...adaptations to house to meet needs. Rental for a while and just moved in and Covid 19 arrives. We struggled to get in before lockdown but we did it.
Unfortunately husband has sunk into a deep melancholia. He struggles to cope with the restrictions. He can’t shop, a pleasure food shopping , he can’t go out and the restrictions are to difficult for him to process.
Don t get me wrong, we have a home, we have food , we have health but he’s not motivated, angry, bad tempered. It was like he struggled to live in his new disabled world and then the rules were changed again. Too much. His personality pre TBI was ADHD and this ‘ ground hog day’ world is a step too far.
Understand it’s right and proper but how can I get him back. He feels this new world is too much for him to cope with . We walk once a day but his gait is getting more unsteady and social isolation is killing him.
How are other brain injured folks coping please? There no one there any more...we ve moved from old friends near family and they can’t visit anymore. Doctors are far too busy and our Rookwood assessment is not happening any time soon.
Written by
Charente
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I had my injury 8 years ago, One of the things that really spooked my wife is that after my accident I was a completely different person. 35 years she had known me and there was now a stranger in her bed !
Oddly melancholia is quite common amongst HI survivors, It is all part of the mood swings and grieving for the former self. Part of the problems are feeling useless and not looking forward to the future.
The key is finding something that he can feel valued for achieving. I started by cleaning and doing household jobs. It used to take me hours but at least it was something my wife didn't have to do. Then it was cooking, which I was very good at pre injury and my wife at best dreadful ! The "new" me took 3 1/2 hours to make a cottage pie. I wasn't the best but stuck at it. After many, many months I was so much better not only at cooking but it developed other skills as well.
With the walking, after a head injury balance and things like depth perception can be a problem. Oddly open spaces can like parks can be very disorientating. I would try an experiment when you walk - put your husband on the inside (you nearest the kerb) when you walk and hold hands. Being on the inside you have more things to judge distance by and you a not bothered by the open space of the road or moving cars. Holding his hand not only gives that bonding but also stability and feedback. I have had to re-learn to walk 5 times so far and one thing that is key is to keep you head level - if you look down your gait gets worse.
Time is a great healer and in the world of Head injuries, two years is only the early stages of his journey.
Even for able-bodied folk the lockdown has become a nightmare, and there's a troubled story from almost every household of one sort or another.
But for those with neuro or mental health issues it can be a much more weighted challenge. My neighbour is struggling with a husband suffering from dementia who swears she isn't his wife and is keeping him prisoner. And owing to his confused state, together with heart problems, she has to lock the doors to stop him wandering off, and then deal with his frustration and aggression alone .
And, like yourselves Charente, these and countless other people are being held hostage by this Covid issue with no support or respite in sight. You do seem quite desperate (despite your temperate tone) and I really feel for you.
I know medication is often a contentious subject but desperate situations often need desperate measures. I wonder does your husband take any type of mood stabiliser or antidepressant. I ask as hands-on support is so thin on the ground, and medication might be the only help available right now. It's no exaggeration to say that SSRIs gave me back my life after years of the darkest depression.
But I hope your man's melancholia is a temporary reaction to the disruption of the move, the home adaptations and the unprecedented weirdness of lockdown and, that when 'normality' returns, his previous progress will resume. Walking out can be a lifesaver in topping up on feelgood endorphins if he can be persuaded.....as is listening to favourite music.
I've not heard of a Rockwood assessment. But you say there is no help. Dr's, at least GP's are there, they have to work differently, and are more difficult to contact, but don't let the guard dog reception put you off. GP's will help, even if as a short term solution, they prescribe something to help.
Don't accept the guard dog, or try 111 online. Health, mental health, goes on regardless of the virus.
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Struggling 
struggling with the new me !!
Struggling to cope! 
Struggling as a carer
struggles on acute ward
