Recognition

[Apesfut]

Hi how do you deal with loved ones not recognising you? My husband seemed to know me much earlier on after his BI when he first came out of coma. Lately its like he has dementia and sometimes asks who I am.....its devastating, does this happen a lot and is it just because he is particuarly tired now due to more physio etc. Thanks A

[Fificakes2]

I can’t answer for your husband, but I know when you’re tired and you’ve been seeing a lot of people it gets confusing who people are.

I think don’t be offended cos deep down he knows who you are he just can’t place you and classify you. It’s harder to access those memory banks and even more if you’re tired.

[Apesfut in reply to Fificakes2]

Thanks Fificakes, that totally makes sense now. The sooner we get to neuro rehab the better, then I can actually ask the medical staff these queations, at the mo I dont get any answers.

Thank you, A

[Fificakes2 in reply to Apesfut]

Yes well I’m glad that it was helpful because everyone is different and how their brain injury affects them differently. It makes it all harder to understand

[cat3]

My family were warned against coming to conclusions too early as there would be fluctuations in my behaviour in line with the fluctuating activity of my brain going through various stages of healing, tuning in & out and rewiring.

Doctors assured them they'd know for sure once I 'Turned a corner'. And when I did it was obvious to everyone, including me.

Hang in there A ; it can be a painfully slow process. Thinking of you... Cat x

[Apesfut in reply to cat3]

Thanks Cat x

[Hidden]

Hi,

My wife is similar as you describe in your husband and especially so during her specialist rehab.

For us, yes there is an element of confussion that happens when my wife is tiered and I have to convince her who I am so we do our best to manage fatigue like many others to minimise the likely hood of this happening.

But mainly its as a direct result of amnesia, specifically retro grade and antero grade. Hopefully during your husbands rehab he and you will see a neuro phyicologist who can evaluate this.

During my wifes early rehab in hospital there was also episodes of duplicate amnesia, where she would remember 3 or 4 different versions of me from stages of our life but the timeline would be incorrect so she would believe them to be different people. This was especially difficult during home visits as there was no one to support this until we returned to the hospital in the evening or the next day.

Her amnesia goes back 20 years and yes your right in your description that its like dementia, our ABI specialist also often references this.

Over time I found it useful to have almost a speech prepared in my head for when she would ask who I was, saying my name, how we met, where we lived... almost like a story. It was important to tell her the facts, or story the same way each time to aid memory and also as a way for her to recognise me. This was well praised by our neuro phycologist.

Hopefully you can see that it will get better for you, help takes time but I'm sure you will get it. Stay strong by believing in yourself and your husband and together you will find your way.

Regards

[Apesfut in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much RockinRi, that is very helpful. A

[Hidden in reply to Apesfut]

Your welcome, it's actually nice to be able to have the chance to talk about it. I should add my wife had her ABI 18months ago, so all this is also new to me but were learning to be together again.

Good luck

[Apesfut in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, you too