how many people with tbi ever go back to their old jobs ?

[Canary56]

My husband at the age of 54 had a TBI . He was retrenched shortly thereafter. Its been 3 years hence . He still mourns his old job. Now he wants to get an MBA so that he can get a job. The problem is that cognitively he struggles, cannot multitask, gets angry is asked to do more, besides he is struggling in his MBA program.

[Painting-girl]

Hello Canary, welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about the difficulties your husband is facing, loss of a job is really hard too. How did his TBI happen - and how bad was it? How much support did he receive afterwards?

The important thing to remember is that while we tend to share a range of similar symptoms, that everyone has a different trajectory of recovery after their brain injury - outcomes do vary.

I'm afraid that I haven't got back to work after a concussion / MTBI at 60. I had a decent job in the City but I still struggle with decision making, working memory, fatigue, and what seems to be a heightened response to stress. I'm just about managing two hours a week voluntary basic admin work, and even that can be tiring, and headache producing. I've been doing family tree research, which I enjoy enormously, but it does seem to knock me out

But that said, some people do seem to be able to go back to work, even after worse injuries.

Lack of self awareness after BI is very common, and a fatigue diary and support from a good neuropsychologist can help identify helpful strategies around ongoing difficulties - and ways to manage fatigue, which can be cognitive as well as physical. I experience bi directional fatigue which means one can affect the other (I mention this because my fatigue tends to heighten all the other aspects of the BI).

[Canary56 in reply to Painting-girl]

Hey Painting girl, he fell in the washroom. It was life changing to say the least. He spent about 2-3 weeks in coma, had about 4 operations and finally he woke up. The docs said he wud be in a vegetative state. He had global aphasia coupled with PTSD. His doc got him shifted to a specialist Neuro care hospital within Singapore. That helped enormously for the next 3 weeks . Luckily his muscle memory was very good , dint struggle with daily living activities. His temper was another matter. Initially he too was bewildered tht something had happened but when he heard what had happened he was in disbelief. It was life altering. His office dint want to take a chance with him, so yeah he was retrenched. He too struggles with decision making , otherwise he can drive, walk , keeps himself fit . Doesn't socialize much . I don't know why.

[Painting-girl in reply to Canary56]

Hello Canary ( I also added a bit to my last post by the way). He had a really rough time then. Where are you based now? If not in the UK, you may want to find a local brain injury association for ongoing help and advice as well as this forum. It sounds like he has already come a long way though.

Many of us find socialising difficult - following conversations, particularly with more than one person and with background noise varies between being 'tiring, but worthwhile', to being quite a nightmare to handle.

It's really great that you are on here, because one of the things some of us tend to struggle with is that our nearest and dearest don't understand what we are dealing with on a daily basis.

A book I found quite illuminating to read, and think would also be useful for friends and family to read was ' Mindfulness and stroke - A personal story of managing brain injury' by Jody Mardula and Caroline Vaughan. Basically Mardula was a lecturer in mindfulness at Bangor university, had a stroke, and kept a diary of her experiences - her writing is interspersed by Vaughan who was her neuropsychologist explaining what was happening. It also has an excellent general purpose second section written by Vaughan, on all sorts of aspects of brain injury, and what strategies you and your family can use to cope with them. So though it sounds like a mindfulness book, it isn't really.

'The Ghost in my Brain' by Clark Elliott is good too. I think he also does YouTube videos, but I haven't watched them myself.

[Canary56 in reply to Painting-girl]

Thank you for the book recommendations. I shall look them up. We are based in the sunny island state of Singapore. Medical treatment is world notch, however there are hardly any organisations or if they exist it stems from the hospital itself , who rarely organise meetings. Sndly my partner isnt too keen to talk about his injury. I dont know why, he just clams up. I agree with you , a one to one conversation is ok provided the other person isnt speaking too rapidly. Otherwise , he just pretends and later says , I dont know what was discussed.

[Ste110]

Hi, I'm attempting to return to teaching secondary science after tearing my carotid artery while surfing that caused a stroke that left me unable to stand and left me with a much reduced level of higher cognitive ability (5 months ago). I am extremely driven to succeed-I was back in the water within a few weeks with friends, although I still cannot ride waves I can now walk with a stick and am learning to control the frustration and anger. It's still early days, 2nd time in the classroom today with lots of support but it feels right being back in and is giving me a sense of normality. I will be working a much reduced timetable due to fatigue but feel that is being realistic as I want to try to work for at least 10 more years.Very best of luck

[Pairofboots]

Hi, it sounds like your husband is still adjusting to the events that have impacted on him. It is difficult. Many struggle to gain further qualifications, universities can be helpful if they are aware of difficulties, it's worth approaching the student union.

Painting-girl has asked some questions around cause and support. Support is important. It is something I resisted, but I did accept help in the end. If you haven't already, contact Headway, their contact details are pinned to this page.

We often talk about acceptance, this isn't about giving up, it is about adjusting. Easier said than done, no one wants to have difficulties, but recognising them can help you choose your battles, and plan.

I was unable to return to work, something eleven years on I still find difficult. I still try to achieve some of the hobbies, but have to accept that it takes me so much more time to achieve, and it can take me an age to plan, work out exactly how to achieve results. I used to get annoyed with myself, but this is where acceptance comes in. No point in getting annoyed, it isn't going to achieve anything.

I wish you both well 🍀

[Canary56 in reply to Pairofboots]

Thank you.. Acceptance is very difficult. he had a lot of support post injury for the next 6 months. especially for speech & auditory. He is ok now . Struggles, but prefers not to say anything but jus stay quiet. which is equally difficult , since I dont know what he maybe struggling with, If I ask him , he display annoyance , frustration & says hurtful things.

[Pairofboots in reply to Canary56]

Do you communicate about day to day things? What to eat, shopping, things that happen? General tittle tattle? Is there someone your husband does communicate with freely?

Strangely, me, being the one with the brain injury, found my ex wife (no injury) refused to communicate, became abusive if pushed. I still scratch my head as to why, but hence the ex.

[Canary56 in reply to Pairofboots]

Yup, do talk about general stuff. He listens, offers very little opinion. Really indifferent to the menu for the day. Ok with everything. Reads the newspaper for a while only, hence discussing current affairs is non existent. Conversation dont flow anymore. Lots of quiet moments. He is happy to go out for a long drive or just be out of the house.

[Pairofboots in reply to Canary56]

It sounds like a lonely place to be. There are a couple of things I would expect to be offered, I'm not sure if your husband would be cooperative. A neuro-psychologist could assess his mood, emotional function, and deficits in cognitive functioning. We can become quite adept at masking both. Even if your husband does engage with a formal assessment, he may benefit from from neuro-psychological input?

[sashaming1]

I had a TBI and never went back to my job.

[tunas]

Hi Canary, I am sorry to hear about husbands injury. To let you know of my situation in relation, this is my sixth year since my tbi accident, I have managed to find work. What I was forced to do is lower my expectations of myself, ever so slightly, after years of very depressing job interview results. I looked for something which forms part of my old job but is much easier. I was a java software developer - which is fairly easy to learn at places like udemy online, there is a great java resource there I know of - but I basically do websites now. There are so many tools out there for designing and building websites that make it possible for anyone with basic computer skills.

I think it was a different viewpoint of how I now see the possible path for my work and life. That made all the difference for me. Good luck, its an interesting colourful new way ahead!

[Canary56]

Thank you for writing in. I respect your perseverance. It must not have been easy, neither the fact about lowering ones expectations.

[tunas]

It has been very hard and it still is everyday, there are some happy days and a big list of bad days. I am just trying to do what makes sense but personally my mood is a huge stumbling block, it controls my daily decisions significantly . My brain is working in an entirely different way to me and to adapt to it is a problem. There is a lot of great information on this site, especially community posts : )

[Canary56]

I agree with you there. My partner is guided solely by his moods, which leaves me feeling confused and bewildered at others. Some of his decisions clearly lack rational but it is either his way or the highway. I know it is the brain injury , but .. Add to this he rarely talks about his issues .