Not looking for ego bolstering. Just need to tell someone.
I just got back from my second vacation since my injury and just like the first a year ago, about 10 days in I started feeling pretty down.
I finally figured out why. I had been hoping, without even realizing I was, that "all I needed was a good rest".
Yah, well, not so much.
Hope springs eternal I guess. However I sure could do without the let down.
I wonder whether you need to give yourself a good 'talking to' on the subject of post brain injury expectations. Brain injuries, even concussion, usually leave lasting issues and as we get older the brain struggles to compensate for deficiencies.
Full-time return to work will have slowed you recovery, and hoping for a holiday cure may be an expectation too far ! Start looking after yourself more Miss B. …….preferably all year round instead of just once annually ; maybe start by reducing your hours if possible.
It took me three years to accept I'm not the person I used to be, and life's SO much better for it !
Hope you'll find a better balance soon m'dear…. Cat x
Thanx cat3. Three years eh? Well it is what it is, right?
To me, what we expect from ourselves isn't always what can be reasonably expected in given circumstances. Unrealistically hopeful expectations are a human failing some of us are comfortable with admitting to holding at times, but if it is a part of who we are, then so be it.
Accepting that the criteria for 'success' and 'failure' change with the effect of radical event is far easier for some to embrace than others. After all, we are individuals with one, sometimes tenuous, common denominator.
Viewed in isolation, any given setback is easy to dwell upon, but as step along a journey, it can sometimes be easier to put disappointment and unrealised expectations into context.
I get totally your point about just needing to share, rather than looking for a magical 'answer', but who knows, merely sharing might provide a positive outcome.
Take Care
K
Thanx Froggiefrog, Positive certainly, I felt a little better just hitting the post button.Knowing that no one here was going to blow smoke up my arse .
I kind of get what you mean. My brain injury was almost three and a half years ago. I still think that I will feel better after a good night's sleep! I think it's because over our lifetimes we get used to normal functioning and it's really hard to grasp that things aren't the same any more. I know that brain injury can make consolidation of that sort of new information difficult, even if we understand it intellectually. So it's not your fault, it's another part of our bloody irritating difficulties.
I am glad you got a break.
Thanx Marnie22, Bloody irritating indeed !
My general rule nowadays is that anything odd is 90% likely to be down to my brain injury. Of course it would help if I could remember this rule!!!!
Miss B good pun on words your name xx
My in Laws say to me and hubby "Suppose we'll see you in a years time" Guess I look okay therefore I must be. I have given up explaining that long trips tire me out and having people who cannot understand what I feel like from day to day ..Rest up when needed. Good luck and stay the course we are the survivors
Luck to you too! Even people who think they understand dont understand. I think you have to live it to get it. Which is why I enjoy this place.
We'll get there xxx and then we will give them all headaches ha ha xxx j.k
I feel for you, I actually struggle on holiday sometimes. Being out of my comfort zone makes me more tired. Regarding work I agree with Cat can you make some changes? I made a massive career shift late last year, left my job of 13 yrs, working 3 days a week, because commuting got horrendous 2 hrs each way. I now work 4 days a week with a commute of 10 mins each way and I have so much more energy and money!
Wishing you all the best and hope you can find a solution that makes you happy x
Thanx for the good wishes and I am so glad for your situation. Nice to hear of things improving for people.
My work situation is a bit of a mess as my injury happened at work and That means I have to deal with all of the BS from employer and our Workers Compensation program. They actually cut me off of benefits because I wouldnt accept my employers schedule which did not allow for the reduced hours my neurologists suggested. I will have to fight them on that but I have a year so not today!
In the meantime I just need to really get real I guess.
Awgh sorry to hear you're having problems with your employer. I was really lucky, mine also happened at work, a stroke. My bosses were very supportive, it was a real wrench to leave.
I assume if you left you would lose your compensation. At the end of the day though you might need to consider what would work for you to make your life easier day to day...hugs x
Thanx Rachel. I am glad that there are employers out there that do things right. Mine would like to I think , but are very afraid of "setting precedent."
Because my injury was caused by a workplace accident I have that extra agency to work with, And Workers Compensation are an insurance company and we all know how much fun those are to deal with.
But I have time, so I am letting myself relax for a while and deal with the looming 2 year anniversary of my "new normal"
Dear Lord how I hate that phrase!
The issues relating to work and recovery after all types of brain injury are so numerous and complicated. The fact that they arise at a time when many are least equipped to deal with exactly these kinds of issues would be comical, were it not so serious!
My own early experiences, eleven weeks after VP shunt revision surgery, finds me liaising with some incredibly compassionate people, but who work for an organisation too large and bureaucratic to mirror this attitude.
I have informal meetings in cafes close to home that leave ME feeling sorry for the messengers, so tied are they to the protocols that clearly are at odds with their own personal experience of talking to me.
Listening to the outlining of the 'what happens next' process reminds me constantly of how frightening this could be to those lacking my bloody mindedness and my view that even the worst that could happen wouldn't be the end of the world.
Due to fatigue, caused by undetectable effects of the infection that lead to my surgery, I had already managed to have my hours amended to start and finish early, although that was just 'pot luck' in getting an OHS assessor who completely 'got' the fact I have a lifelong condition that is managed, not 'cured'.
I'm sure you don't need reminding there are organisations that can help you deal with employers, should you feel it is appropriate...although it looks like I just did!
Take care
K
You are exactly right. It is almost comical at times.
It seems like you have a great mindset that has helped you a lot. I try to, and am successful most days. Just not everyday.
I am too tired to deal with anything more right now, but I have a year, so am hoping I can enlist the aid of a family member to help .
I am pretty certain that I will "win:"as it goes against the Human Rights Act. But just dont have the "spoons" right now.
Like everyone, I have my less good days, but , generally, positivity works for me. I also feel very uncomfortable with ' bemoaning my lot' (a) because I am in the presence of someone who sacrifices so much to help me and (b) there are so many worse off than me.
Dealing with whatever you feel capable of at any given time has to be the way. There will be situations where you might feel pressured into making decisions you are not ready to make, but that will usually be because a quick decision makes life easier for the person/ organisation wanting you to make it, not because it is beneficial to you.
Wishing you well and in finding the strength, when the time is right to take on each battle. Knowing you are in the right is empowering and will be so when that moment comes, whenever it may be.
Take care
K
Thanx Froggiefrog. You are quite right in all that you said.Thank you for "getting it"
May your days only get better!
Being a bit idiotic.
A bit of film news....
A year on and I am struggling to cope with the 'new'person I am married to
