Progress but not supported enough at work

[Davidwoods78]

Hi, my first post after reading loads. I fractured my skull in 2014 and caused damage to my frontal lobe and have suffered ups and downs since but I have made a great recovery. I’m a curriculum leader in an fe college and from the point where I didn’t feel comfortable teaching children due to feeling low and un intelligent with my brain injury I now feel personally I am back to doing a decent job. However, recently I was having my lunch and a tutor approached me about a student on my course in a tutorial, who had said she was under pressure at her part time work and struggling at college due to it. The tutor had mentioned the issue was serious but I discussed about helping the student as a curriculum leader with her studies. Now, a month on and the incident at the students work has been raised as a safeguarding incident and as I made a joke to relax the student about her performance at her work with the attempt to get her realising that sometimes jobs are not as important as life in general, now my work are stating that my “relaxing” comment meant that I was stating the incident was her fault, of which I did not mean at all. Work are saying I did not process that it was a serious incident and act correctly. Has anyone else had similar situations where they haven’t processed the info (even if conveyed badly in front of the student) and reacted wrongly? Hope I have explained that well as it is now a serious issue for me

[Weatherwitch]

Hi there, I just hope that you are a member of a union as it is only your union rep who will be able to advocate for you. Is your FE College aware of your brain injury? Do you consider that your brain injury affects your daily life; if so, you might also be covered against indirect discrimination under the Equality Act 2010. This makes any requirement to 'act normally' an indirect discrimination against people with any of the protected characteristics. Perhaps humour is no longer recognised as being a 'normal response' to stress? Your response was offered to try and assist, and is only incorrect now as a result of the safeguarding concern being raised. I'm not sure why a safeguarding concern was raised (threats to self harm?) but it was not an outcome which you could have been expected to foresee. Take it steady. I'm sure there are other people out there who are teachers who can advise you. With best wishes.

[Davidwoods78 in reply to Weatherwitch]

Thanks for the reply. The college is fully aware of my condition, have put a support plan in place and generally been quite supportive. The previous support plan states that I may need time to process in certain new situations, I believe the incident is one and is due to poor communication from the staff member with the student present but the college are worried about my processing, even though I have three years experience since my injury of dealing with the most difficult courses within the dept (four students expelled from course this year which is unheard of in fe) but this issue has not currently being recognised and the concern is only on my lack of quick processing of the mentioned incident.

[1949liz]

Hi David, what a world we live in, it’s such a shame that in making a joke and trying to relax a student you are the one in the wrong, there will come a time when teachers, and others who work with people will have to have somebody with them at all times when speaking to a second person. We unfortunately live in a nanny state. Bless you for coming so far on the road of recovery and try NOT to let this miss understanding pull you backwards. Love Liz x🤗

[Avro]

Hi David,

I have a brain injury caused by hydrocephalus and one of the issues I have is having information but not acting on it appropriately.

One simple example was being in a jeweller's recently with my 7 year old when I and the jeweler became aware of a commotion just outside. It was two dogs barking and growling loudly. Now I knew that my 11 year old daughter was just outside the front window of the shop with our puppy. Obviously an 11 year old with a puppy and a bigger dog growling at it needs help, but I did not react at all just carried on looking at jewelry. After a while the jeweler reacted and went out to help, he was a little suprised when he later realised that it was my daughter and my puppy who were the one's needing help and I did not act appropriately myself.

The thing is about having all the information to hand, but then not processing it properly to conclusion and as a result not then responding to the situation appropriately.

Mark

[Davidwoods78]

Thanks for the responses, is there any way to improve our general perception and processing of a situation that you have experienced? For me it is new situations that I am a little unsure of, probably similar to your example avro and I’m sure you too would be more responsive if it happened again, how could I develop my awareness and is this an issue of my head injury or simply unfortunate coincidence that this has happened and I have also had a head injury (I.e it would have happened with or withou?)

[Hidden]

Hi David your story sounds very familiar! I have brain injury caused by untreated congenital hydrocephalus... I lived a very normal life with professional career until my mid 30’s(not so normal now last year at the grand old age of 48 I found myself ill health retired and very limited in my abilities).

It is hard when you have lived life to defy your condition when it finally catches up with you I am still fiercely independent but find myself more reliant on my family than I or they really like it gets to me at times but I try to keep smiling and carry on with my adaptated new life! Kate 😀

[Davidwoods78]

Hi Jenny I am sorry to hear that. I believe that In mine and the people that count (family, other staff members and the students) I am recovering hugely but little things like the processing incident are frustrating and I am hoping if I can beat this one by finding ways to “get around” the processing issue I will be able to move forward a lot further. I do however understand what you mean by family assistance, it is unbelievably important that they are on your side in everything.

[boxergirl777]

Oh my days.....David you did nothing wrong

It's sounds to me like a some "nanny fool no life moron" who actually needs a head injury to improve their life has decided to stir up trouble....

This is nothing to do with your bi....i have met this kinda trouble since forever but like you i seem to have meet it more since my Bi in 2015.

Please don't fret .. ...i might be reading your post wrong but you state "a tutor"approach you during lunch and told you you had done this horrendous crime!....so that sounds like the moron who has stirred it up and making it this drama and is this tutor a work colleague or your superior? You also write "work" has now said this and that? is "work" the same tutor or another tutor or who is work?? ...if it's all coming from same person it's a lot of this Bull.S... , i'm guessing he/she is getting off on your fears and insecurities ..has the pupil in question complained about you for sure? has anyone sent you anything official in writing saying you have done ANYTHING wrong?....and surely if it's been over a month and it's still got a flame ? well have you been called to speak to higher Manager or Head teacher (Sorry your job is not my field so bear with me) either to answer for the safeguarding crap ,...if not then stop and look at it for what it is.....scare tactics from a nasty piece of work who has jumped on something knowing they could stir up trouble and blow it up into something to upset you, and its a whole lot of nothing but ifs and maybes...

However if you have been told officially there was a safeguarding issues (can't imagine how?) and you have been invited or summoned to some sort of meeting with the head etc then tell truth and say you meant no hard, apologize and i guessing that will be it...worse comes to the worse play on your bi say you will be more aware in future blar blar blar :))

It's such shame we have to deal with this kinda nonsense when life's hard enough without this extra stress....well done for trying to keep working and if this is all coming from one or two moronic colleagues then keep your distance and say little if anything to them ever again.....